Who are you?

Braylen suggests going to Colleen's site to take a quiz, so I did.
Braylen came up as Curious George, which is funny, since his first name is..George.

Mine is Harry Potter. Click here to see it!

Oh well. Still, try it for yourself!

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( 8:42 PM ) sisoflexx

Finally! Last Entry !

No, not that kind of entry. You're nasty.

Today, after weeks of driving around with a buttload of boxes in my car, because the storage place we were going to use closed down for a week, I finally got the storage space. That, in itself, is a story.
Let me first explain about my house.. I am a packrat, and my house is terribly cluttered with useless crap I should have thrown out years ago. I have boxes galore stuffed with shit packed into every available space:
The attic, closets, up in our bedroom, where my hubby and I made a intricate labyrinth of interconnecting tunnels like the Vietcong from the staircase to our bed. Since we can no longer reach our dressers, our clothes are now placed...You guessed it, in boxes. A few years ago, when I first moved in with Jay, and didn't have enough room for all my shit ( and I do mean SHIT ), Jays' mother Judi graciously allowed me to bring a few things to store in her house. Like I said, a FEW things. All her available storage space is now packed with my crap. You should have seen her face about the 17th-18th time! Hee hee.
Now Jay and I are in the process of being pre-qualified, and I need to pack more stuff into more boxes, but my dilemma is there is no space in which to pack. Any place I could place a box into so I could stuff it with crap is already occupied with a box. ( Stuffed with crap.)
My mother moved to England a year ago , and when she left, she gave me all her CRAP. Most of it is at Judi and Charles', ha ha!
So I have had a brilliant idea I could store my crap in a rental storage unit. So, I finally get there today, and step into the office...
I listened to the woman give me the rules, the low-down, the PRICES.
Do you know how much those units cost?
I got a 5x10 climate controlled unit for $60 a month.
$ 60 a month, to store my crap!
So, I get the code for entry, she shows me a few things, then I get all those boxes that have been riding around with me for weeks and put it in this space. The woman asked if I had a lock, and I told her yes, at home, because I was afraid she would try to rent me a lock for another $60 fucking dollars. I do have a lock, and really, I was worried about my crap that was left unprotected.
( When she asked me if I wanted to obtain insurance, I thought, pay to replace my CRAP ?)
If someone stole it, they'd probably be doing me a favor.Maybe break the Packrat mentality. NAW!
So I closed the storage unit, then opened it again because my keys were sitting on a box inside.
I then headed home, all the while thinking about a combination lock I had just recently seen, I tried to remember where it was , so I could put my hands on it as soon as I walked in the house. Then of course, I'd put it in my purse, so I wouldn't forget....
Then I realized why the image of the combination lock was so vivid to me...

A few weeks ago, I had packed the lock in one of those damn boxes I had just put in the storage unit!

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( 8:32 PM ) sisoflexx

Smokebreak!!!!
Yana, Lisa and I were outside, smoking like chimneys. Alas, we were nearly done, and prepared to head back in.
All of a sudden, whizzing by, right in front of my eyes, an inch from my face, went a cigarette butt. Lisa had just flicked it, and I could have caught it in my teeth. I told her, as I have my glasses on, it could have been lodged between my glasses lens and eyelid, and it would have been a few minutes of serious pain , trying to dislodge it.
Yana, laughing, looked at the butt in the grass and said, " Look! It still burns ! "
I pointed out that it was because Lisa, preparing to go back in, had taken her final puffs, sucking voraciously until the cherry was glowing red and 3 inches long.
Then she tried to brand my retina.

No wonder Waspy left!

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( 8:18 PM ) sisoflexx

The Hot Russian Chick

Yana came into work today wearing a long, form-fitting, sleeveless, cotton dress.
As she walked by me to clock in, I said, " Ohh-la-la! Look at you, all dressed up ! "
She just laughed, and walked by. I turned to Semi and asked him, " Could you have her sitting by you all day ?"
He said, " Hell no! I'd never get any work done! "
I laughed, and Yana returned and said, " You think this dressing up? Dis is dressing down to me ! "
Semi said, " Please keep dressing down, by all means, keep dressing down ! "

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( 8:10 PM ) sisoflexx

The Bank Angel

Diana was in the bank today, and as she is very observant, ( nosy ) she was watching and listening to everyone ( nosy ) in the bank.
There is a teller there, whom Diana has seen in action before. This action isn't bad, but seeing as Diana has had a bad time of her marriage, and is currently going through a divorce, she immediately had her ears' perked up , listening to what the teller was saying to the middle aged woman she was serving. ( It took me a minute to get what Diana was telling me later, so bear with me. YOU try typing all this out!!!
Teller: " You want info on acct. # blah blah ? "
Cust.: " Yes. "
Teller: " How about acct #blee blee ? "
Cust.: "No, we only have the one acct, #blah blah. "
Teller : " Well, I have a different acct., a 'business' acct. It was opened 2 years ago ? No ? Here . .."
The teller then prints up all the information as it dawns on the customer what she's being told.
She then walks out with some good evidence to trap her husband tonight.
Diana said this is the second time she has seen this teller protecting the naive, the uninformed.
She wants to send the teller a bouquet. She has found her angel...

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( 7:36 PM ) sisoflexx

At work today..

Couple of humorous things . First thing this morning, everyone's harried, snappy, and in Semi's case, just freaking goofy. Lucky's up front trying to box work, and keeps yelling to Semi for help.
" Semi ! "
" Lucky! "
" Semi !" Get up here- whats this in here for ? Why did you...This isn't right... "
Then Semi comes back, sits down, and starts working again. A few minutes later :
" Semi ! "
" Lucky ! "
Semi continues working. ( He loves to fuck with people ! )
" Semi ! "
" Lucky ! "
" Hey, Semi, what's with this case? Was the crown remade ? "
Semi, not looking up : " I don't know. "
" Why are there two flippers* in this pan ? Did we do a remake ?"
" Yes ."
Lucky raises a brow and looks over at me. I am smiling. He shakes his head, exasperated. Lucky then asks, " Is this the old flipper ? "
Semi, not looking up : " Yes."
Lucky then raises his arm over his head, flipper in hand, and wings it pitcher-style at Semi.
Isn't this place AWESOME ?

Yana later goes to her desk and hears some thing crack under her heel. Then she walks over to me, with shattered acrylic in her palm, looking worried, and says, " I step on dis. Why it on floor? "
So, I explained the whole story, that it wasn't something important that she broke, so we had a good laugh.

* A flipper is like a denture, pink acrylic, with teeth to replace the missing ones in your rotten gum hole on it.

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( 7:09 PM ) sisoflexx

Checkers

Jay and I have a saying. We have quite a few, but this is one of them.
Whenever commercials come on, it's annoying , of course. But you get the few that really grate on your nerves.
If it's that bad, I've made up my mind I will never bless that establishment with my presence, or use / eat the product because the company hired moronic advertisers who believe the majority of american consumers are blubbering dimwits. ( And they may be right )Then to top it off, the company in question " Okayed " the commercial during some big wig meeting. That makes them worse than the advertising firm they hired, in my book. I feel annoyed to have my average intelligence insulted .

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( 7:01 PM ) sisoflexx

I have all these great ideas ( and mediocre ones, too )...
While I'm at work, on the way home, etc... Then, I sit down in front of the computer to type, and my minds' a blank. Jay had a good idea ( for once ), that I make notes of what I want to write. But, I'm sitting here now, and I have 5 freaking stories in front of me!
I guess I should weed out the pile, but this is sort of a diary of how screwed my life is. I should put all my evil thoughts to paper. Or blog. I'll just stay up til' midnight with my back screaming and wrists aching.

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( 2:45 PM ) sisoflexx

A little tutorial...
For those who do not know how to use comments. You ( Or should I say " I " ? ) have your 2 basic types right now:
1. Diana type: Keep hitting 'post comment ' over and over, until you're pretty sure one of those got through.
With Diana I end up with 4 comments. The same comments. Over and over....
2. Jay type: Don't put personal info in the spaces provided just for that reason, like, who the hell you are.
A computer is a brilliant piece of machinery, but it doesn't recognize you when you sit in front of it , like it is a puppy waiting for master to come home from work. It doesn't work by osmosis, either. I've tried that already.

How to: Post Comments
Click on the word comments.
A window will pop up. It's okay, this is supposed to happen.
ENTER your information in. You don't have to give me your e-mail address, or http, that's up to you.But at least give me your freakin' name. Come on Jay, even Diana got that right!
Put your comments in the box marked...comments.
Click on the 'post comments ' button. Once.
In a second you should be able to view your own comments , printed for all to see.

There! Wasn't that easy? Since I only have 2 people leaving comments, and they are listed by name here,
this should be fairly simple. Hee hee!

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( 2:37 PM ) sisoflexx

As I finished my posts last night,
I was crushing my empty cigarette pack.
I called out to Jay, laying there in the recliner, " Hey! Where's that pack of cigarettes you got for me? "

" Shhhi-ii-ittt ! "

Bastard

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( 10:00 PM ) sisoflexx

Child Abuse
My brother touched on a subject in his archives I thought would be fun to discuss. ( That's why he only ' touched ' on it, because he won't tell you about it. )But I will...hee hee!
Anyhoo- when we were living in England, this must have been 1980, thereabouts, we had a saying in our house, " Crumple Corner ". This came about when our poor mother, a single one at that, kept trying to keep her teenage kids in line the best she could. Alex was only 10-11, me, I was about 13.
My mother had got onto Alex constantly about doing chores. Not just him, but..This one day in particular, she had told him to take out the trash ( 'rubbish ' ) numerous times, and each time he had an excuse of being busy, doing this and that. ( Which I see my son doing all the time, so this is my punishment for being a witch to my Mum..)
She had finally had enough, put her foot down and gave Alex an ultimatum , for him to do it now.
He stomped off to the kitchen, ( where I was sitting ) grabbed the trash, and stomped off out to the back yard, where rubbish (hee) was kept.
He stomped back in, and as he was passing my mother, turned and faced her, face all red, spit flying, yelled

" Are you HAPPY ? Are you SATISFIED ?!

To which she responded badly.
She started screaming. ( I suppose this was a long time in coming ) Then the slapping started. She had Alex in a corner of the kitchen and he was in classic head protection defense crouch, arms over head. It wasn't so much the hitting, either, because her feet keep jabbing forth repeatedly.
I think my mother had alot on her mind that day...
You just don't think about it when you're a kid. I remember at that age that all that was important to me was...well, me. Our mother sheilded us from the harsh realities: the bills, the overtime, etc. I know she didn't go out much, and she is a social butterfly. I've come close to pulling a " Crumple Corner ' on my own kid a few times. I don't know if I'm a lot more mellow than my mother, or if it's I can just picture in my mind a little boy curled up in fetal position in the corner of a small british council housing kitchen, someone who wished he could take it back.

Of course, to htis day, my mother can't for the life of her remember this episode.

Here's Alexs' bad Queen imitation one more time:

Are you HAPPY? Are you SATISFIED ?!

Of course, I have my own story of mouthing off...
My mother was getting on to me for the same thing : chores.
She stood there ( same kitchen ) and berated me for a good 25 minutes, telling me off for slacking.
She walked by me, and opened the door to the garden. I assumed she had gone out, because I muttered under my breath, " Bitch ."
I felt my hair wafting over the warm breath in my ear, saying, " What did you say ? "
And I looked at the ground, all sullen, and said, "Nuthin ."
" I heard what you said. "

Crack !

Right across the face. Of course, I acted all indignant, held my hands to my flaming cheek and ran upstairs shouting that I hated her. Acting like she had made a bad mistake, in other words.

Ahhh! Misspent youth!

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( 7:08 PM ) sisoflexx

Just one more time...