Soft Scorn

Definition :

Misanthropic / adj. A general hatred or contempt for fellow human beings,
of other people in general. Opposite of philanthropist.

example :
Jimmy Carter : philanthropist
Heather : misanthropist

Example of 'misanthrope' in conversation :
Heather : " This movie just shows how stupid people are. I hate people ."
Jay : " My, aren't we the misanthrope ?"
Heather : " What did you call me, you idiot !? Tell me you stupid son of a bitch !
What kind of stupid f**ked up word is that, dumbass? I hate you ! "

(An excerpt from The Werbinox Chronicles)

OR...

Are we ready? Oh,good! Welcome to the forum that lacks wit, mirth, intelligence and ingenuity Comments are welcome, as I cannot hope to hold attention spans on my own merit Blog away! Dear friends, read, learn, and re-affirm your soul and mind!


May 31, 2002
      ( 8:36 PM ) sisoflexx
Didn't find a C.T. house today, but one we're really interested in is on tomorrow's agenda. I'll let you know how it goes !
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      ( 8:34 PM ) sisoflexx
Joke of the day :
A twist to a classic Beatles song...

Write in C ("Let it Be")
------------------------------------

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
_____________________________________________

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May 30, 2002
      ( 10:46 PM ) sisoflexx
Once more, before I go beddy byes.

Happy 48th Birthday,


Mumsies !!!

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      ( 10:15 PM ) sisoflexx
I found a ' profound ' Acidman tonight in :
<$GUT RUMBLES$>
But, I digress AGAIN... I want a woman to cook nice suppers for. I want a woman to sit on the back porch with me and drink wine while I show off my show-off self by identifying the constellations in the night sky. I want to know if those stars appear to be a crab, or a bull or a hunter to her. I want to hear her laugh at my jokes and I want her to be quiet and listen when I play sweet songs on my guitar. I want her to sing, and know the words to songs that I know, so I can lay on a harmony. I want her to enjoy spooning in the bed on cold nights when we keep each other warm under all the covers I own. I want her to enjoy spooning in the bed on hot nights when we throw off the covers and sleep under a single sheet. I want to hear her snore. I want her to put up with my snoring.


I want to give her a key to my house and tell her that my door is always open for her. I want her to come visit me a lot.


But, right now, I want her to go home, too, sometimes.

It's funny how we, as people on the whole, don't think about men having feelings. I don't have mushy feelings. I feel, believe me, but I can do without the cuddly-touchy crap, and I don't know why, but there you are.
Jay's very romantic ( Or should I just say horny ) but my make-up's alot different. Like Jay tells me , I can be very passionate once he gets me in the mood. ( In other words, ceaseless hours of freaking annoying me until I give in.)
He works harder than anyone I've known, just to get a simple hug.
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      ( 7:54 PM ) sisoflexx
I'd just like to say :

Happy Birthday,


Mummy !!!

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      ( 5:53 PM ) sisoflexx
First, I noticed a Google search for enema nozzles being traced back to me, now it's :
Google Search: princess peach f**king mario

What next ? No, don't answer that.
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      ( 5:50 PM ) sisoflexx
Our motto at work is " It's Close Enough."
The reason that got started is because our model tech, Judy, would do the opaquing, sometimes good, sometimes bad, and when we once showed something that she screwed up to Lucky, he said, " Well, at least she tried. It's close enough."
So whenever anyone fucks up now, we just say , " It's close enough. That'll do, pig."
Well, today was Judy's last day, and I brought in a card and had everyone sign it, and Lucky went out to get drinks, plates, cups, and a cake. Semi ordered a couple of pizzas, and after Judy left, we had ourselves quite a celebration.

Just kidding, we all gathered to eat pizza and cake, and Lucky showed everyone the cake ( except Judy ) when he brought it in. In beautiful pink icing, it said :

Good
Luck
Jury

Honest. We were laughing, especially when Lucky told us how he'd told the bakery clerk the saying he wanted on the cake, and he'd be back in a minute. So he returns, and see's this mis-spelling ( ? ) Not even a mis-spell, obviously deafness on the clerks' part. I know Lucky is a New Yawka, but he doesn't talk with a mouthful of marbles ! Anyhoo- Lucky said, " You know, I thought, why bother ? She won't care, and it's keeping in line with, ' It's Close enough' ! "
You know, I don't think she even noticed. As soon as the pizza was scarfed down, Semi whipped out the spatula and started hacking at the cake with lightening speed, starting with the " Jury " area, so she wouldn't have a chance to see it.
It was so funny!
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      ( 5:18 PM ) sisoflexx
This doctor was doing the opposite of what you'd expect, giving a patient 2 for the price of one.
A surgeon was guilty of serious professional misconduct when he aborted a baby during a hysterectomy without the mother's consent, the General Medical Council ruled today.
College lecturer Barbara Whiten, 43, had not known she was 11 weeks pregnant when she arrived at the Kings Mill Hospital, near Mansfield, Nottinghamshire, for her operation in March 1993.
But consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician Reginald Dixon made the discovery while operating and chose to continue with the hysterectomy, removing Mrs Whiten's ovaries and terminating the pregnancy in the process.

I wonder if he added it onto her bill ?
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      ( 5:15 PM ) sisoflexx
Inmate broke back into jail after theft .

Yes, you read that right. Strange world.
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      ( 4:58 PM ) sisoflexx

For the guys :Page3.com - HOME

I remember growing up and sneaking peeks at my cousin's copy of ' The Sun'. I just couldn't believe they had naked ladies in there. And apparantly, they still do.
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      ( 4:51 PM ) sisoflexx
Just a blurb taken out of
" Live from the WTC ".
Which brings us to the real problem with deposit insurance: moral hazard. Which is a fancy way of saying that we take more risks when someone else is picking up the tab for our mistakes. People build their houses on flood plains when FEMA covers any water damage. People aren't as vigilant about setting the burglar alarm when the insurance company is responsible for replacing stolen items. Kids major in Comparitive Folk Dancing when it's mommy and daddy stumping up the 30K per annum.
You should read the rest of the column. It made me realize how ignorant I am about money matters.
Then again, now that I feel bad about myself, you shouldn't go. Hee !

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May 29, 2002
      ( 7:19 PM ) sisoflexx
Tourists are beaten in riots at Greek port
Tourists were kicked and dragged across the quaysides of a Greek port by striking seamen yesterday.

Holidaying women and children were caught up in clashes between dock workers and riot police when they tried to board ferries at Piraeus in Athens.

Television pictures showed frightened tourists being grabbed and dragged away from the ships as they tried to dart through the ranks of about 1,000 strikers.

"Greece is not the word."
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      ( 6:55 PM ) sisoflexx

I am Malnourished
(Normal Spoiled Dysfunctional Adult)

Like the tale of the pirate and the lamb in "Siddhartha," you were once fat as hell, but, through many faults of your own, are now *Malnourished* on the inside (NSDA). Your tender little baby is wanting of teats and milk. You would do well to let her suckle some.

All of your issues can be solved with an "emotional hamburger," i.e., treat your baby right. Find something to love and love it. Find something to buy and buy it. Find something to grope and grope it. This is the way of the inner child feeding frenzy.

Another avenue to explore may be giving your inner child up for adoption to someone who can love it better than you.
All this on the :The INNER Child Test!
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      ( 6:22 PM ) sisoflexx
Joke for the day
Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters whenever they had sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily throughtown and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
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      ( 3:57 PM ) sisoflexx
Nothing to report, except I forgot to write yesterday, as I was coming home, all four northbound lanes of I-85 came to a stop, just before the Suwanee exit.
I was on the cell phone ( hands-free ) talking to co-worker Lisa, and I told her " Well, I think I'm in the good lane, because there are a couple of semi's behind me, in my lane. And they would know, better than anyone, which lane's are best."
As I moved slowly forward, I saw the semi's get over to the right. Then the van in front of me slapped his blinker on to get to the right. As soon as he was over, I could see now, that there were no car's in front of me , except the mangled wreckage of a white Cutlass and a couple of cop cars.
So, I put on my blinker, look over my shoulder, and there's this big white truck and he's inching forward as I'm trying to move over. I'm giving Lisa commentary about all this as it's going down, and I thought, I'm so sick of these rude fucks, who can obviously see I'm not getting over to put them a few more minutes behind schedule. I can't go anywhere until this ass or the next five asses find it in their hearts to give me a break. For the next 30 seconds, I tried to move forward a little more, and try to slide on over. Nope. He wasn't having any of it. Then I had a thought : ' Wait a minute ! My car is 6 years old ! His truck's brand new. And if we know anything about rednecks' and their trucks....' Yep, I forcefully inched my way into that small opening, actually thinking I could care less if it scraped up either vehicle. He of course let me in, and I waved cheerfully to him. I think he was waving back. Now, I'm inching along again, coming alongside the wreckage, talking to Lisa still, and as soon as I passed the cop walking towards his cruiser, he steps out in front of the white truck and stops all the lanes from moving anymore, as the towtruck was backing in. Oh ! I haven't laughed that loud in a long time ! ( Excluding daily Jay doses, anyway ! ) I went on and on to Lisa how I was the only one going up 985, and that turd in the white truck is so-oo--oo pissed. There may be a god after all !
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May 28, 2002
      ( 9:30 PM ) sisoflexx
Jay said he knew I was having trouble getting to sleep last night.
I was. I went to bed at 11pm, not even tired, and switched right/left sides, on my back, to no avail. I remember checking the clock every time I rolled over. Last time I checked it was after 2am, and I had to get up no later than 5:30. I at last tried the sleep on back position, and next thing I know, Jay 's nudging me, saying " Sorry, Darlin', you were snoring."
So I roll over, look at the clock, and say, " I just f***king fell asleep, and my alarm's going to go off in five minutes. Thanks alot." ( I was exagerrating, but...)
Just a few minutes ago, we were laughing about it, and he said that's how he could tell I wasn't getting to sleep, he at least hears me breathing deeply. Then he started imitating my snore, which sounded awful, and I asked him to describe the sound, as I can't write down in letters and words the sound he made.
" Like industrial metal plating being horribly scraped together."

Fucker.
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      ( 9:04 PM ) sisoflexx
Tonight

I came home from work, and there's Jay looking all bummed. He told me the realtor had just called, and another offer had come in before ours, and the sellers took that offer. ( I guess I was secretly relieved. Like I told Jay, " I like the house, sure, but it's no clit throbber." Crude, I know, but it gets the point across.)
So, I asked him if he'd like to go out tonight, and look some more. We're going Friday night and Saturday to look with Kathy, but I thought it couldn't hurt. ( I also bribed him with dinner.) So he can't find matching socks, and wears one white, one black. I deal with this constantly. The trick is, to act like you forgot something in the car, you have to go back, and could he please get a table, you'll only be a minute. That way, he's seated, and feet are less noticable. While we're driving around, I ask him, " Isn't wearing different colored socks supposed to symbolize something ? Like you're gay ?" He says he supposes so.
I add, " Does this mean you're bi-soxial?"

Well, we look at houses, actually, there were none, so we moved our search, and then went to Red Lobster and stuffed ourselves. Then we drove some more, even though Jay was saying it was getting too dark, he's stuffed and tired. As we moseyed along, there was a beautiful sunset, and I said, " See, honey ? If you were at home right now, you'd be missing this." He agreed, and as we came along another road, Jay said, " Look at that." ( In a rather un-shocked/raised voice, actually.)
I look over, and in the oncoming lane, a huge white van has taken the corner too sharply, is plowing through the dirt and grass, and bouncing hard and high enough to actually flip. I'm thinking to myself, as the van is nearing us, " I hope Jay plans on gunning the engine , and swerving off the road to avoid this f***ker."
( He said later, he was.) Then right after the van passes us, it swerves across the lanes to our side, right behind us. I looked in the rearview mirror, to make sure it didn't hit a tree, or flip finally, but it didn't, it came to a stop in the grass. Other cars were stopping to help, and Jay and I said to each other, that the rest of evening would have been spent helping those poor people, too, if that had been the case. Too close.
As we pulled away, I said to Jay, " See ? If you had been at home, you wouldn't have been able to witness that !"
Our hearts were pounding.
Not as much as the driver of that van, though.
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May 27, 2002
      ( 9:30 AM ) sisoflexx
PromoGuy's Monday Mission 2.21

1. What happened this weekend that made you smile?
Finding a house
2. Did you make someone smile today? If not, will you try?
Not yet, hubby still asleep. Of course, I'll not only try, but do it !
3. Have you any clothes or accessories you love to wear but just totally embarass the person you are being seen with?
No, I haven't had the nerve to wear anything embarrassing since my late 20's.
4. What was the catch phrase you said the most in High School?
" Life's a bitch, and then you die."
5. Who are you remembering this Memorial Day? (or for those not celebrating it, tell me about someone worth remembering)
I don't know anyone who actually died in a war, but some people I knew were military, and died of old age and bad accidents. Like, Uncles : Sonny, Bert, and Jack. And girlfriend Vicki, to name aa few.

6. Do you think you are a good friend?
Yes. I'd give you the shirt off my back if you're a friend. Well, I'd buy you one.
7. (continued from MM 2.20) That outing tonight was a blast ... but that was last call. I totally overdid it and shouldn't drive, anything we can do while I try to "dry out?"
You're not going to "dry out ". We can get a cab or a hotel room. No, I get my own bed, I don't want you puking on me or sucking my big toe while you sleep.

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May 26, 2002
      ( 10:29 PM ) sisoflexx
My Google Search: I-285, Atlanta, 2 year old , police shot, May 2002 produced at least 17 pages of 10-15 possible links , and the only one I saw reporting this was my link .
That was on the fourth page. I gave up after ten. Oh well. ;o)
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      ( 10:24 PM ) sisoflexx
I got a hit on my link...
....from Yahoo , so I looked it up :
Yahoo! Search Results for enema nozzles --sisoflexx
... These nozzles unscrew completely to clean entire inside. ... in such an intimate way this
afternoon, with my head shoved up it's backside, like some exotic enema. ...
http://sisoflexx.blogspot.com/

Nice .
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      ( 10:09 PM ) sisoflexx
Yaay ! It's that time again !
Kitchen inspections.
Here are my favorite blurbs, and score of 95 passes.

Pizza Hut, 1398 Thompson Bridge Road, Gainesville. Score: 84 All food products must be thrown out when their expiration date has been reached (milk found dated Jan. 27, May 6). All food contact surfaces must be clean of mold, mildew and fungus. Tea spouts heavy with growth. Repeat offense. All hand sinks must have paper towels, and they must be in a dispenser. Repeat offense. Get that ? " Repeat " offense.


Sun Garden Chinese Restaurant, 3630 Thompson Bridge Road, Suite 17, Gainesville. Score: 76 Food handlers performing many tasks -- taking out garbage, sweeping floors and preparing food -- without washing hands in-between. Hand washing needs to be done between each task to avoid possible contamination of food. Egg rolls are cooked and put into boxes used for shipping chicken. These boxes cannot be cleaned and sanitized, and can contaminate food put into them. Food discarded. Only store foods in approved food containers. Rice left out all night to "dry." Cabbage egg rolls cooked and left out overnight. Cooked foods must be held cold at 41 degrees or below or hot at 140 degrees or above. All discarded. Dishes not being sanitized in a three-compartment sink. Wash, rinse, sanitize and air-dry all dishes. Utensils stored dirty in dirty hotel pan under prep table. That's just great ! I ate Chinese food last Thursday.


McDonald's Restaurant, 707 Jesse Jewell Parkway, Gainesville. Score: 94
Floor under self-serve counter littered with food and trash; floor tiles do not extend all the way under counter.
Say no more .


Waffle House, 1240 Candler Road, Gainesville. Score: 95 - Wow !!!


Cattleman's Restaurant, 2810 Brown's Bridge Road, Gainesville. Score: 97 Buttermilk in walk-in with an expired 'use-by' date. Buttermilk is potentially hazardous and must not be kept past use-by date. To insure a safe, quality product is served, discard expired products. Yum !

Please keep in mind alot of these folks go out of their way to prepare us folks some good, warm grub with a smile, and their jobs are important to them ! I don't want anymore hatemail. They have feelings too!


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      ( 8:17 PM ) sisoflexx
I guess I don't follow links as much as I should, but having slow nights helps. I always wondered why there wasn't a Jawja ( Georgia ) Blogger's List. In fact, I did all the " googling "and " yahoo"-ing I could, and didn't find a 'social' Georgia group. In fact, all this research had me stumble ( Gad help me ) across a weblog named Gut Rumbles. It's true. The " Jawja " came in there somehow, and if you read his blog, you'll see why. My brother and friends have the D.C Bloggers, and there's nothing for Georgia. So, finally taking acidman's advice, I visited
Daxmontana.net , and found he too wonders about the lack of a "Jawja Blug Suckle ". ( That's " Georgia Blog Circle " to all you damn Yankees. Oh, right, I am one ! Anyhoo-oo , I'm listing him in my links, not only so we can get some Georgia thang going, but he has some ideal thoughts, and some... too dark, never mind, jest get yer ass in thar !
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      ( 7:11 PM ) sisoflexx
Couple of funny pics I've seen on the web today. Even though they're on rotten.com, they aren't gross.
After reading Alex's account of his soccer match, he may enjoy the first one, because he's a
Soccer Whizz and
the other is a wake-up call to Public School.
Enjoy !
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May 25, 2002
      ( 5:44 PM ) sisoflexx
A few days ago in the wee hours in the morning, there was a car pulled over by a cop on I-285 ( Atlanta beltway ), there was a scuffle between the cop and the father of a two-year old. The cops' gun went off, and the kid was hit, and died. I haven't heard the full story yet, but the Georgia State police have been running ads, and they're still running, about seat belt safety. They end the commercial with " We will save lives/We'll make sure you're safe !" And I couldn't help thinking how ironic it is. Are you going to shoot my kid if I'm not? That'll teach me !
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      ( 5:20 PM ) sisoflexx
I found this on acidman'sblog today. Very amusing !
ALL MEN ARE SWINE:
The following ad in "The Atlanta Journal" is reported to have gotten numerous calls.....
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love
long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours.
Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy."
Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black LABRADOR retriever......
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      ( 5:10 PM ) sisoflexx
House Hunting

Well, the other house is out. We went looking at houses today, and found a great one for a great price, so again, we offered for it. Spacious enough, privacy. That's all that counts. Jay had told our realtor Kathy we'd sleep on it, but I told him we should go for it, because I didn't believe a house like that would sit for long. I really like it, and I believe it suits our needs . Lots of built -in cabinets, a book shelf. I can strore all my crap. Haha !
We gave them until Tuesday to counter offer, so I'll let you know what happens.
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May 24, 2002
      ( 5:43 PM ) sisoflexx
Have You Ever ?

Have you ever done that embarrassing thing where you INGEST something ?
Jay and I spoke of this the other night, and I thought I'd include it.
Jay's was remembering a funny story/or film where someone accidentally used a product other than toothpaste to brush their teeth, and he said quite a few years ago he was brushing his teeth, and a friend, who knew Jay had screwed up, asked him how the toothpaste tasted. Jay said, " You know, it's kinda lemony." And when he looked at the tube on the sink, it was ' Brillcream'. He said he laughed about it.
One bad one for me, but not the worst : Diana, me, and another pal of ours at the time, Polly, were in Di's husband's study/den, drinking and smoking profusely, using a beer can as an ashtray. Yes, you guessed it by now, I'm sure. I took a swig of the ashtray, and the hot, bitter taste filled my mouth. At least there was no liquid in it. Ugh !
I'll include a story of my Mum's by proxy, of a near miss. Out of my family, of parents and sibling, I'm the only one who isn't legally blind.
After using our shower, she told me she searched through the array of bottles on the shelves, looking for the shampoo. She had actually squirted a glob into her palm, and thought it didn't seem like the right consistancy, so she squinted at the bottle a second time, only to find out it was ' Summer's Eve Feminine Hygiene Wash '.That was close.
I have a friend, who I am still friend's with, so I won't mention names, in case they stumble on this blog one day, who had an ex-husband who had a chronically digusting habit of picking his encrusted snots and flicking them in receptacles such as chip bags, soda/beer cans, and in fact had a friend of his swigging a warm beer of his that he knew he had put presents in, but didn't say anything. Sick Fuck. Anyway, my friend said that one night she popped popcorn for the family, and after they had sated their appetites, she nibbled the remaining kernals, and actually licked the bowl clean of salt, and other tasties. Then her ex asked " You didn't eat all of that, did you ?" She got a sinking feeling in her stomach. ( More than just a sinking feeling, I'll warrant ! ) He admitted ( to which he should have kept his trap shut ! ) to thinking everyone was done with the popcorn, and carrying on with said disgusting habit. Nice.
My worst one, because at the time it was emotionally scarring, was when I was a 14 year old girl new to British school and the kids, going with a so- called friend to a babysittng job, a job that her best friend was working on. I was actually enjoying myself, watching TV, talking girl-stuff, you know, doing girl- friendly things. Then these gals went in the kitchen to make dinner, ' beef burgers' they call them, not 'hamburgers' ( I guess thet shows intelligence on the Brit's part ) and they brought them out, we ate them , and I thought they tasted really funny, but after being used to Yankee burgers, I left it at that. While I was eating them, they were asking me if they were good, I said they were alright, but I choked down one and left the other, because it did taste crappy. And I thought I'd be nice, and not tell them that. After I was done, they started in unison, " ME-E-E-E-O-OW! Mee-ee-eoow! Then, they started giggling. I didn't get it. ( Duh! ) They then told me they had put cat food in my burgers. You know, the not-dry-but-not-wet-catfood? It comes in those sta-moist pouches ? I pulled apart the other burger, and yes, I could see kibbles-n-bits in it. Well, it was pretty much horrifying. I did the whole, ' Heather isn't touched, nor feels your contempt ' thing, but, it was a deep crush, knowing that people could be so nasty . I have become a person, who, over the years has been in the path of these nasty people, and each time I have done the ' Heather is not touched, nor feels your contempt ' thing.
But I do look and view these episodes as a by-stander, and actually look at it from their point of view .
No, I do not forgive them, There is nothing to forgive. Think about it : why should I forgive them, or even ponder on the good it will do forgiving them ? On a small scale, I feel they are not even worthy of contempt. Not mine, at any rate. Take away the power of your contempt, and they have no power.

Similar Subject( in a way )
See ? Now I'm going into completely different waters. But, since I have a few minutes, ( and I don't want to pack up my belongings ) I can start a whole new subject, or add-on. So easy !
One of my favorite quotes, is my husband's. He told me, " You take indifference to a whole new level."
And it is true, to a point. I refuse to let everyday life get me down, especially if it involves the views or opinions of others. Well, even that is slightly untrue, I DO feel, as does every other being on this sweet earth of ours, I just choose not not to give it more thought than it deserves. Jay has often joked that I have a bigger heart than anyone he knows, and this may be true, because I care more than I seem to show. ( Wow, I think I've had too much to drink, this is turning into a bleeding-heart-liberal-smushy-fuzzy thing) All I'm saying, in way of advice, or trying to help some younger, more ignorant ( if there is any ) people : no one is perfect, there is no such thng as a dysfunctional family, and there is no such thing as a ' sure thing/ soul mate'. Do not stay " friends/lovers" with some one, just because you feel you've invested so much time. Same goes for a job. If you're not happy where you're at, try to find a suitable substitute. If you can't, stick it out for a while , while you look for a good one. Even if it may not seem as great, or you don't have reassurances you're doing the right /sure thing, consider it, because it may be the best thing you ever did. If it isn't, chalk it up to experience, and start looking again. Don't ever stay somewhere, or with someone, if you feel uncomfortable. Life is too short, and you waste your energy and thoughts on someone or something that doesn't deserve it. Always remember ( and this may be a downer) : You may be dead tomorrow . It's true. If you have a week or a day left, do you want to spend it at that job, or with that asshole/bitch ? Or would you rather enjoy living it up, going out and trying to at least find that job ? I don't dwell on death, but I do think, every time I get behind the wheel of my car, " You never know, Heth, this may be it. Be f**kin' careful." And you don't know. That's the point.
I don't live every day to the fullest, believe me. I'm lazy, a procrastinator, overweight, and a brunette.But if I'm unhappy with something, I do try to change the circumstances.

Please bear with me. I know I'm spouting, but, I felt it had to be said. Still friends ?
Later, I'll bleed some more ! Keep posted !
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      ( 3:32 PM ) sisoflexx
I've added a couple of new blogs, just in case you're blind. Both are journals, with some wickedly ( well, not " wicked ", per say, but good, really good insights into others' thoughts and feelings. Check 'em out. Random Thoughts and Behind The Mask
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      ( 2:56 PM ) sisoflexx
On the way home from Morgan's school I drove over a groundhog. I mean, I drove OVER it. It was in the middle of the road, I could see as I slowed down, that he was chewing his cud, or choking. I thought, " Is his spine broken ? Should I aim for his head, put him out of his misery ?" There was an oncoming car, so I chose to stay in my lane, and a truck behind me. I'm a firm believer in, ' If an animal crosses the path of your car, don't put it's life in front of yours. Cream the f**ker.' Don't get me wrong, I'd be crying all the way home . ( Oops, that destroyed my image. ) But I'd rather be crying over the demise of a dog, squirrel, groundhog, or the hundreds of dollars I'd spend repairing my bumper and headlight, than have Jay and Morgan ( well, maybe not Morgan ) crying over my demise, because I swerved to avoid a critter, and end up in a perpetual lover's embrace with a rather large pecan tree.
Anyway, as I slowed, the idiotic rodent just sat there, and of course, just before I went over it, I could see that jerky " Oh man, danger ! Gotta hustle ! " movement animals get, like my cat Spaz, as I come up the drive way (which is at a 85 degree angle) she runs in front of the car, all the way up, while I'm gunning it in first gear, hoping I won't stall out. Plenty of times I've laid on the horn, yelling, " To your right ! To your right ! "
Anyway, I thought of the groundhog, too late buddy. I went over it, felt a light knock, but not the BA-Boomph! I expected. and when I looked in my rearview mirror, it was zipping in to the woods like a cannonball. I'm sure the people in the truck behind me thought that was a sight ! I was relieved, to say the least.
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      ( 2:47 PM ) sisoflexx
I went to see Morgan receive his awards for Honor Day. Last day of school. Lucky bastard.
He got 2 awards, one for Social Studies, which is weird, because he's anti social. Ha ha.
And one for having the second highest amount out of the whole school , of points in the Accelerated Reading Program. I know that'll make my Mummy proud. She was the one who demanded he be read to, she's very into that motherly crap.
I'm going to miss him for the next week, as he is with Judi and Charles. They bought me $50 worth of boxes, so I can pack during the weekend. I guess now I have no excuse. I was just going to pass out drunk every night. Oh well, can't win 'em all !
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May 23, 2002
      ( 9:49 PM ) sisoflexx
Sorry so lax !
What a slacker! Anyways, no news on the counter offer except for this: Their realtor gave our realtor the feeling that the couple want to sell their home at list price, no closing costs, and no repairs. They want to sell it a s a ' fixer-upper' or 'as is'. Of course, none of this is mentioned in the ads, or even when we began offering. As for leaving all their stuff ? Who knows ?
All we know, is if they counter offer with the choices above, we're out. I told my realtor we'll just wait a month, and bid on it when it becomes a HUD home. Then the bank will pay to fix crap. The way this couple are acting, this is exactly what will happen. ' Nuff said.

Tommorrow's Morgan's last day of school, so I'm off work to see him get an honor. Probably the ' Honor Of Being Most Misbehaved Bastard '. ( At least I'm not going to have another damn parent-teacher conference.) That gets old. I never pulled the shit he does, because I got " The Belt ". I told him I'd never do that to him, but sometimes I'm beginning to wish I did ! ;o)
Then his grandparents, Judi and Charles, who are coming to Honor Day also, are taking him with them for a week. Whoo-hooo! Just kidding. I'll miss him. Really, I will. He's soooo adorable !

I was supposed to go to Va., to visit with Diana and Val, and also visit Lex, but, with all this house hunting crap, I figured it would be pretty irresponsible. Oh well. Sorry, Diana and Val ! And Lex ? He couldn't care, and he has his big Basement Project , so he's probably relieved. And I didn't want to wake up with sawdust in my mouth. ( Or anything else, for that matter ! Wink, wink ! )
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May 21, 2002
      ( 10:13 PM ) sisoflexx
I've spent the last hour reading other's blogs, and usually The lexfiles has a gem or two. Today's :
I just walked past the Department of Education building. For a while now they've had these stupid little structures outside the doorways. I guess they're supposed to resemble schoolhouses. They have signs on them that say "Leave no Child Behind", written in that funky skoolkid font.

I can't help but think, every time I pass that place, that the money they spent on those ridiculous little structures could have been spent on something else. Like on leaving no child behind, say?

And acidman's chauvanistic joke brought forth chuckles, as did his Monday Mission from promoguy. I guess I shouldn't have left a comment about laughing about the question concerning his ' true love '. Sorry, Acid.
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      ( 9:52 PM ) sisoflexx
Counter - offer.

O yea. This house buying is for the birds. We offered a lower bid on the selling price, of course. Today was too funny.

When we put in a bid Saturday, the listing price for the house was $ 119,900. Our bid was $114,000 + closing costs.
Their deadline to respond was Monday, 5pm. Kathy, our realtor, heard from their realtor at 5pm, asking for more time, because the husband was out of town, and they weren't able to confer. Okay, let us know at the last minute. We haven't been waiting all weekend, or anything.
They asked to have until Wednesday, so we said sure, that's understandable.
So I got a call from Kathy today. She said the counter-offer was phrased thusly :
1. Purchase price : $ 122,000 WHA-AA? The list price was $ 119,000. How the HELL do you figure ? Well, the next one explained a bit.
2. Any repairs required by VA Loan to be paid by seller, not to exceed $ 250.00. Okay, they're confused. I'm learning , too, but I think their realtor could've done some home work on VA loans BEFORE scaring them into thinking that after the initial inspection, where all repairs and who's going to pay for them are bickered over for a week and a half, and BEFORE the VA will approve the VA Loan, a rep from the VA has to " inspect " the home, and approve/ pass it as a safe loan, that I won't get screwed, and in return, screw them by falling on my ass. That's all. The VA guy will look for crap, regardless of what the inspector found ( I think. ) and base ' okaying ' the loan from what he finds. We ( buyers ) have an out here, we can either get the shit fixed, or we won't get the loan. It depends on how bad we want the house. I think the seller's realtor told them not only would one inspector come out, and they'd have to repair or come down on the price, but then a 2nd inspector would come out and find more crap. So they upped the asking price. Too funny. I brought the fax with the counter offer, and told Jay, " Here's you a copy, so you can read it over. " He said, " I don't need to read it, because I don't accept it. " I told him later he should, just for comedy value. But he didn't.
3. Oh, they didn't accept our "ten day " Defect Resolution Period. They wanted nine. Picky !
Another great part : The time given to us to counter-offer : Until 10 am, the 22nd. Tomorrow !This is being told to me at 5pm tonight. Nice.
So I met with Kathy at 7:30, Jay had a list of demands written up before I even got home, and I brought them with me. $ 117,000 + closing.
And when Kathy asked me how long we should give them, she said, " Um, five..."
Then I said , " 5 am ! Tomorrow ! " And how we laughed! Naw, I gave until 5pm. Tomorrow. Naw, Wed.
We'll see.
Man, this sucks.
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May 20, 2002
      ( 7:37 PM ) sisoflexx
If you can..
I suggest you get over to Acidman's page. He has a really good joke on there.

Jay and I are still waiting to get an agreement on the price of our house. Everything looks good ! Just an update, I told you I wouldn't be writing as much. I guess just visiting other's blogs and stealing crap! Hee hee!
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      ( 7:33 PM ) sisoflexx
I found this in Lex's page today

My Mum's name is Jeanette. My sister and I have an old line that we pull out occasionally when we do something stupid (it's a well worn line by now). We turn to each other, turn on our very best tard voices, and say "Jeanettics!". Then we giggle hysterically. I guess you have to be there.

After watching movies last night I decided to retire. So I drag my tired little body off the couch and traipse upstairs, stepping though sawdust and wood shavings. I'd realized while I was working that I managed to cover everything in my office with a nice coat of sawdust. But I had my bedroom door closed through most of it, right?

Not so, my little fuckers. Everything in my bedroom was covered with sawdust. Everything.

Lex sighs, grabs alarm clock and pillow. Takes (sawdust coated) pillow case off of pillow. Traipses back downstairs and sleeps on couch.

Jeanettics! Giggle.

I left this comment :
This little saying was invented during our fourth pass at Philly,the city we couldn't quite get into, wasn't it? PhilCon, I believe.
It does fit, though!
Jeanettics!
Giggle ! We love you, Mummy! :o)
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      ( 7:06 PM ) sisoflexx
Monday Mission 2.20 from - - - > PromoGuy
1. When was the last time you went out with a true love of yours? What did
you two do that made it so special?
We don't go out. That keeps our love intact. Oh, we went house hunting this weekend. We had fun.
2. Which far-away friend would you most like to see again?
Diana. Or my parents. I miss them.
3. Any high or low points about this past weekend? What went on?
Jay and I found a house we both agreed on, and put in an offer for it. It's a deal,( so far ! )and it looks to be going our way!
4. I've been thinking about getting a buzz-cut for the summer, a big
change for me. Have you ever made any drastic changes to your appearance?
Just as a teenager. Oh, and at 29 years of age I got a tongue stud as one final grasp at my youth.Oh, and I got drastically freakin' fat.
5. How long do you think a couple should date before they get married?
Or if you are married, do you think you should have waited longer to get
hitched?
Married. No, we knew long before, but were too lazy to get it done. We did it when we did because some relatives from Britain were coming for a visit, and we figured that way, we'd have some guests!
6. I just found out my long-time friend does not like Star Wars (!)
and has only seen the original 1977 movie! Have you ever discovered anything new
or shocking about a long-time friend you thought you knew everything about?
No. I would hope not, or I may have to re-evaluate that friendship.
7. Well we had a nice picnic and saw the sunset, but now it's dark and
I think we should liven things up. Let's call some of your friends and go out.
Who do you want to invite and where should we all go?
I don't go out. The best place, really, for entertainment and music, would have to be the " Prog Day Music Festival", once a year at Chapel Hill, N.C., on Labor Day weekend.
(I don't get out much. Does it show ?)


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May 19, 2002
      ( 10:05 PM ) sisoflexx
Okay...
Here's my psychology rating this week...

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Low
Obsessive-Compulsive: Low

Try yet another test -Go, psycho !!!
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      ( 9:42 PM ) sisoflexx
Well, I took the Un-Telligence Test and supposedly, I'm kinda smart? Oh, who am I to question science ?

"You're normal!"
For the record, you are:
65% Un-telligent!
which is normal since the current average is 60%.
Your evaluation is unique, however, so keep reading:

Here is the custom report of your personality that led our team of geeks to conclude (with confidence) that you are moderate but excitingly different:

"The subject shows an astounding level of intelligence, and her sense of observation is one of her best qualities. Considering this, she shows a lot of potential, but that's only part of the equation.

"Also, as much as we hate violence, an occasional mauling is one way to solve day-to-day problems like unpleasant coworkers or pesky door-to-door salesmen; she just isn't tough enough, sir, and she avoids any solution that involves violence.

"Finally, the subject displayed a healthy (better than most net freaks anyway) sense of humor, a decent and respectable sense of morality, and a hot shot self-confidence. The balance of these three traits is important; high levels of confidence, medium levels of morality, and a good level of humor make for the strongest individuals."

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      ( 4:56 PM ) sisoflexx
Some cool news..

Jay and I have made a decision. We went out yesterday with the realtor, Kathy, to a couple of houses. But we asked her to take us by the first house we saw yesterday, the one we got woodies looking at. Well, just to let you all ( all 3 of you) know, we put in an offer on it! AAAaaggghhh!
OOooHH! I'm so-oo-oo excited. I'm trying not to be, though. I'm being realistic too. Still, the sellers have until Monday, 5 pm, to answer to our price. I just wish I knew! I'm not going to go into descriptions, values, and bargains right now, until we at least find out we've got it. You understand. It's driving me nuts, though !

Keep your fingers crossed for us !
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      ( 4:41 PM ) sisoflexx
Well, now I've taken the Bitch Test!

The results are in. You are certifiably:

39% bitch!


which is higher than the worldwide average 38%

Wow. You know, I'm nice, but not that nice ! I thought I'd get a higher score on that one. I guess I'm not as cold as I thought. Not like that "bloodless cunt " acidman was married to. Hmm.




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May 17, 2002
      ( 9:39 PM ) sisoflexx
Must have time on my hands !
I took the Gay Test!
and I'm 32% GAY!

Whoo-hoo!
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      ( 9:21 PM ) sisoflexx
I found this post on PejmanPundit.
Yeah, me and hundreds of others !

MAYBE DRUDGE PLAYED NOSTRADAMUS Matt Drudge dug in his archives and found this story from December, 1998, indicating the possibility of an attack on New York City and Washington:

. . . the Laden scare also is being felt domestically, intelligence sources tell TIME they have evidence that bin Laden may be planning his boldest move yet--a strike on Washington or possibly New York City in an eye-for-an-eye retaliation. "We've hit his headquarters, now he hits ours," a State [Department official] tells TIME.

So again, if the information was available in 1998, and we want to investigate administration actions, let's investigate the reason why the Clinton Administration did not put security procedures in place. This blame game thing goes both ways, you know.
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      ( 9:14 PM ) sisoflexx
I took The Death Test!
My results:

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:

December 28, 2033
at the age of 65 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:
Cancer (38%)
Suicide (13%)
Heart Attack (10%)
Drowning (10%)
Alcoholism (7%)
Horrible Accident (6%)

Nice, huh? Just what I need to know. Oh well, I have another 30 years, at least.

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      ( 8:28 PM ) sisoflexx
Tonight we looked at houses !

Well, it wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. I actually enjoyed myself. Jay and I have looked at houses for the past few years, and we know what we do/don't like. You know how you slow down, because there's a ' for sale sign ' out front, but at a glance, you know whether or not you even want to bother writing the number down.
We've been in a few we would actually consider buying, but couldn't, because we were broke. It sucked not being able to make an offer, especially if it looked like it could be the one .
Well, we just got pre-approved, so we thought we'd better get a move on. Jay called a realtor ( which I wasn't sure I wanted to use one, but since we both have such freaked-out schedules, it was impossible to look ourselves.) and we met Kathy tonight at the Chapter 11 bookstore Jay used to work at. ( Halfway point.)
She took us to North Hall County, ( out of Morgan's school district ) and wouldn't you know ? The very first house we looked at ! Honestly. We went to four more, but none met the criteria as the first house did. Wow.
We came home and showed the flyers to Morgan, again explaining, if this the house, and it works out and we get it, he'll have to change schools. He wasn't as pouty as I thought he'd be, but I know it sucks changing schools. I went to 13 of them. But he did seem interested in the photos, and I told him we're meeting with Kathy tomorrow, and he could come along while we look at some more houses, and we'll ask her to take us back to the first one.

It's really a deal, we'd be getting it cheaper than we should. Well, we'll see. The last thing I want to do is gush on about it, then have it fall through. That's what I've been afraid of with the house hunting thing. Ok, then, we'll see.
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      ( 4:02 PM ) sisoflexx
One more thing....

Happy 32nd Birthday,


Alex !!!

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May 16, 2002
      ( 9:04 PM ) sisoflexx
I took the The Clutch Quiz!. I scored a 68 %. I guess it's because I answered the question : ' Would you kill someone for the gov?'
And I said no. What a wimp. I would kill for revenge, probably. But it would have to be an extreme circumstance.

To the EXTREME !

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      ( 8:12 PM ) sisoflexx
PejmanPundit has a pro-palestinian advertisement on his page he's sick about. Check it out !
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      ( 6:17 PM ) sisoflexx
I'm pretty good about getting in here everyday,
but Jay and I are going to look at houses this weekend, and I'm going to Virginia next weekend.
I also have to buckle down and get this crap of mine packed. I just can't see findind a house, then suddenly realizing we only have a month to pack and move. I have 5 families' worth of crap in this house !
So I can apologise now, for any future absences. I know the both of you understand.
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      ( 5:58 PM ) sisoflexx
You'd think with all the technology the Japanese have, they'd come up with a better prosthesis for this giraffe amputee.
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      ( 5:43 PM ) sisoflexx
I took the liberty of posting...
...one of acidman's blurbs:
If you are one of the people shocked, SHOCKED, MIND YOU, that Bush "ignored" warnings about the 9/11 attacks, just simmer down a bit. It could be a lot worse. We could still have THIS PRICK in charge.

Views of this author don't necessarily portray with the views....Oh, who am I kidding ? I agreed with it.
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      ( 4:55 PM ) sisoflexx
Boy, I thought I had it bad...
This is my brother's own personal hell at Lex World I’m still undecided on work tomorrow. My Thursday night plans fell through (wah!) and I managed to mess up my Friday day plans myself. I was supposed to be working on the Fantastic Basement Refinishing Project (The project, not the basement), but some slacker fell asleep last night almost as soon as he got home from work, instead of going out to Home Depot to pick up wood for the walls like he was supposed to.

In slacker’s defense, he didn’t get a lot of sleep Tuesday night, because he stayed up late tearing down walls until his shoulder hurt (a lot) and then couldn’t sleep because his shoulder hurt (a lot). Speaking of tangents, I almost never take pain killers (that’s how Manly I am), but I broke down Wednesday morning and threw down a Motrin - I almost reached for the Tylenol #3 (with Codeine!) but resisted – but even after that, my shoulder hurt every time I sneezed. In a house full of sawdust, and a back patio covered with pollen. I wasn't feeling very Manly.

So anyway, the deciding point on work tomorrow may be whether or not I go to Nation tonight.

I guess I should stop bitching about having to look at houses this weekend.
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      ( 4:37 PM ) sisoflexx
My illness has evolved.

I think the virus has mutated ten-fold, as elusive as the AIDS virus. I began feeling it last Thursday evening.
It began as a tickle and slight nagging cough in my throat. It then enveloped my upper respiratory system. I began coughing, and Friday morning I had the shakes. I felt like someone had taken a baseball bat to my spine and the joints in my extremities. My eyes were tearing up constantly because they felt like they were on fire. The funny thing is, it wasn't until Friday night that the water works started. I filled 2 plastic grocery bags full of snot rags this weekend. My nose is peeling,( matches my hands) it's also red and raw.
The water works have slowed down, I'm not coughing as much, but for the past 2 days, I've felt like I've had a railroad spike driven into the front of my skull! My sinuses are killing me. I have to blow just to relieve the pressure.
It's been a week, for crap's sake !
I get to visit Diana and another pal from our ( well, theirs ) glory days, Val, the weekend after this, and it's bad enough I'm 50 pounds overweight, but now my face resembles something out of Creepshow!

Speaking of Creepshow,

Tommorrow is



Lex's


32nd


Birthday!!!



Oh, and Semi at work has now gotten sick. He was on the phone with his wife, and he told me his wife said to tell me to stop kissing on him.
I said, " Well, you're the one asking for all the sexual favors." Damn ! And I needed that raise, too! Oh well.
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      ( 4:36 PM ) sisoflexx
For tommorrow
another day gone
bright and dreary
it is change
yet stays the same
lead your life
wary and content
connection and joining
of both emotions

to not be frightened
and take life in both
palms and jump
to not be worried
of what others suppose
you are climbing
these rocks, this path,
to the pinnacle, not they
should you fail
and plunge
learn to glide

Or invest in some damn good hemp rope !
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May 15, 2002
      ( 9:47 PM ) sisoflexx
I should add this to my links.

I may, I don't know just yet. Besides, I'm too lazy ( Right, acid ? He he! ) to go into the template right now.
The Gaping Maw is a humorous editorial on rotten.com
Check out the archives, because there some good stories and commentary from the past.
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      ( 9:24 PM ) sisoflexx
Go visit the site harrumph! still crazy!
You get to enter your very own " Two Truths And A Lie "
And then read everyone else's funny quips.

Well, I thought it was funny.

To hell with you, too !
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      ( 9:12 PM ) sisoflexx
Another quiz.
This time, one on beliefs. Now, I basically answered every question in the " no opinion " category, and thought my results would end up with a screen, blinking in red, screaming Atheist! Atheist !
But it didn't. Once I got over my disappointment on the lack of flashing lights, I read my score:

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%)
3. Liberal Quakers (84%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (83%)
5. Secular Humanism (79%)
6. Neo-Pagan (69%)
7. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (67%)
8. New Age (66%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (61%)
10. Nontheist (59%)
11. New Thought (58%)
12. Mahayana Buddhism (53%)
13. Taoism (52%)
14. Reform Judaism (51%)
15. Scientology (44%)
16. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (39%)
17. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (35%)
18. Orthodox Quaker (35%)
19. Jehovah's Witness (31%)
20. Sikhism (28%)
21. Jainism (27%)
22. Orthodox Judaism (23%)
23. Islam (15%)
24. Hinduism (14%)
25. Seventh Day Adventist (4%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (2%)
27. Roman Catholic (2%)

What the hell?
Thanks to nutz for pointing this page out!

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      ( 8:37 PM ) sisoflexx
Before we left for the concert, Monday...

There was a severe thunderstorm warning, and Jay made me get off the computer and turn it off.
As the sky got progressively darker, I joined Jay in the living room, and I sat on the recliner. We watched the skies through the sliding glass door, and soon the wind picked up. Considerably.
We have realy tall trees surrounding our house. Oh, yeah, we would, because we live in a forest . Hee-haw ! All of a sudden, not only did it start raining, but it rained in driving sheets. The trees were now wildly whipping around, and Jay and I weren't reclining in sweet repose any longer, we wre now upright and transfixed. Just then, the wind and rain came straight down, and the trees seemed to be driven straight down, too. I yelled, " That's not a thunderstorm ! That's a f***ing micro-burst ! "

Needless to say, we abandoned the living room and it's wide window !
Nothing fell, but I'm surprised it didn't. This was the exact same time a tornado was reported over Rockdale, Maryland.

We have had our brushes with storms and tornados, living here.

My first was when I first moved to Georgia, I wasn't working, taking my ' sabbatical '. Yeah, okay . I heard a really loud rumbling, and the house was shaking perceptably. I had a thought that one of the the trains that usually pass behind the hill behind our house had derailed, somehow. The sound was really loud, and I actually went to the window facing the hill behind the house and looked out, expecting to see a large boulder or locomotive, barreling down the hill. Yes, it did cross my mind, the humor of opening up curtains, seeing a spectacle beyond my wildest dreams, and having no reaction time. But, there was nothing there.
The rumbling continued for another minute, then subsided. And I gave it no more thought, until the weekend, when we visited with Jay's parents . Judi, Jay's mom told me she had seen the news recently, a few days ago, that a tornado was reported right near where we live. I told them all my story, and boy, did we have a good laugh!

Then there was a morning in March/ April , ( I believe ) of 1998. I wasn't working that month, since I had just been fired, and didn't start HELL until April. Anyhoo, I always got up early and got Morgan ready for school. I was standing at the kitchen counter, making him a packed lunch, looking out the window. And I remember a storm coming up, the rain, the thunder, and thinking, " If that doesn't clear up soon, I'll have to take Morgan down the hill in the car, so he doesn't get soaked." By the time we were ready to go, I went to the door, and saw it wasn't raining, just drizzling. So I stepped outside, and looked up at the sky. It was full of dark clouds, light clouds, and what I remember most was there was an opening, directly above me, where I could see straight through, to a bright blue sky. I stepped back in and muttered to Morgan, " Now, that's some whacked weather. Georgia's weird." Then I walked him down the hill, threw him in the bus, came back in, got my coffee, and sat down in front of the computer. I got on the internet, and was on there for a good hour, 2 hours. As soon as I got off the internet, the phone was ringing off the hook. I answered, and it was my mother, in Washington D.C., at work. " Do you know how BLOODY long I've been trying to call?!" I said " Sorry, I was on the internet." And she went on to bitch me out further because it was on the news that Gainesville, Georgia, had been hit pretty bad by a tornado, and here she is trying to call me for hours, and all she's getting is a busy signal ! I guess that did look bad. She'd been in contact with my mother-in-law, Judi, but neither one of them could reach me, and they were worried. After I got off the phone, I went and turned on the news, and sure enough, roughly about the time I was spreading ' Skippy " on Morgan's sandwich, looking at the ' freaky ' weather, north Gainesville had been hit. I then had the phone ringing, with Diana calling me : " Why was your phone busy ? " And my Dad : " I couldn't get through ! " Georgia weather is screwy.

I have a few more, but I think I'll end with that, and write more on a later date.
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      ( 3:05 PM ) sisoflexx

2 more days...


..'til Lex's


32nd Birthday!!!

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May 14, 2002
      ( 10:34 PM ) sisoflexx

Ladies and Gentlemen, after an evening in Atlanta, at Phillips Arena, with


Paul ! Paul ! Paul !




I don't know what to say...
....The concert was beautiful ! But the night consisted of many stories, as I lead such a screwed up existence! I'm going to have to break the evening into segments, or chapters, as I could write a book on the evening , without even touching on Paul.

So far, I have 4 . We'll see what I can add, when my carbon-monoxide-damaged brain cells recall certain things. I'll also try to get Jay to contribute some input, as we had one episode that was particularily amusing because Jay has more of an active imagination, than I do!
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      ( 10:33 PM ) sisoflexx




Chapter One


"The Show Man "

(The ' pre-show ' didn't please me, so I'll put that in another chapter, or not at all ! )

As soon as the ' pre-show ' hit it's fevered pitch, and I was about to pitch a fit, the giant screen lit up, displaying a silhouette of a man, holding a guitar up above his head.
The crowd went nuts, and they all began standing up on the slopes of Mount Everest, cheering, screaming and clapping. It was a roar that went on for quite a while. I didn't stand up. I know better. The scenario that played in my mind was:

An overzealous fan, leaning too far forward to catch a glimpse of Mr. McCartney, placed a hand to steady himself on the patron in the row before him. The victim, Heather Taylor of Gainesville, was witnessed falling forward, flailing her arms before assuming a barrel roll through the rows before her. None of the seats occupants made any attempt to grab her, as they were unaware of her plight.
" I didn't even hear what happened until we was sittin' down." Said Chuck Yokel. " Just heard they had gurney wheeled with some chick from the lower level who fainted, or sumptin."
Because most of the concert-goers were giving Mr. McCartney a standing ovation, facing the stage to their right, Mrs. Taylor's descent went unnoticed. Reaching the bottom rows of the 2nd level, she had gained enough momentum to vault her over the bar, and onto the level below .

As everybody was cheering, Paul went straight into ' Hello, Goodbye '. The large screen that had been in the front of the stage, now rose above Paul. The curtain covering the drum set and keyboards was swept away, to reveal not only the set, but about ten screens 1/4 the size of the main screen. The main screen mainly showed close-up shots of Paul, so those of us on the summit, holding bloody tissues and oxygen masks to our faces, could say " Yeah ! I got to see Paul !" , and could have done so by renting the film ' Help ! ' and watching it in the comfort of their own home. Yeah , I know, that's not the point. Anyhoo, the smaller screeens were spaced out along the length of the stage, some lower than the others. These played an array of images: Of the band, to an impressive light show, and shots of music videos and old newsreels.

After each song, Paul took off his guitar of choice, and handed it to an assistant, who had the next instrument ready. Funny, but better than Madonna changing her outfit after each set.
Paul went straight into the next song each time. It was quickly done, no fuss. It was bloody great!
The one song he sang, which Jay believed was geared to emotionally touch the audience, did.
Not neccessarily the song, which is awesome, of course, but the screens behind the band played The Beatle's news archives from their old American invasion, all the young girls screaming and fainting, ( being rolled away in gurneys ), and just the Fab Four being silly, smiling, and having fun. Paul played , " All My Loving", and Jay said that because he believed it was ' supposed to tug at his heart strings ', he fought it.
And lost. He admitted to getting a little choked up. I of, course, had my brilliant green eyes welling up. (Okay, hazel...)

Paul's band disappeared after about 45 minutes of playing, and left Paul up there by himself.
Jay and I agreed the best song Paul played by himself accoustically, was " We Can Work It Out ."
He did " Fool On The Hill", and at the end where he sings " Eyes..spinning round and round and round...", the screens behind him showed multiple eyeballs, with their pupils endlessly rolling in their sockets.
He played a tribute for George Harrison, " Something " on a ukelele, which he told us George has a huge collection of. " In fact, he gave me this one ." He said. More roars. As he played, past pictures ( of course, past ! ) of George played across the screens. Ahh! He made jokes about George being 'George Formesby', ( Formsby ? ) a star from the 40's who played ukelele, and my father used to sing " When I'm Cleanin' Windows" to me all the time. Formesby was quite charming, if you ever get a chance to view an old film of his. But then again, my Mum's best mate Ann said once, " If that bloke could get any women, every man figured there was a chance for him ! ". Oh, okay, I thought he was charming. And Jay knew who Formesby was from my Mum's Brit's Oldies CD he listened to. Another song of his was " Standing At The Corner." He's delightful, I tell you !

Anyway, back to Paul, he was wearing a white jacket and pants, red shirt. But the night before, at Atlanta, he wore black. Of course, no flash photography was allowed. (Hee Hee)
The last song Jay and I sat for was " Back In The USSR ", and when Paul and his band sang "..and Georgia's always on my mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind !" The crowd, of course, went wild. They probably thought he was singing about the USA's Georgia. heh.
What I mean by ' the last song we were there for...' Yes, we left early. Can you believe it ?
Now, that takes balls. Oh , alright.. I was worried about getting up early for work the next day , the crowd of thousands leaving all at the same time, being stuck in a parking lot for an hour, and I had to really drain the vein and there was no way by god I was going to make that trek back down the summit with no lights to guide me Paul or no Paul, etc. And I know what you're thinking, " You left a McCartney concert early?!" Yes. And of course, the whole time I'm asking Jay if it's okay if we leave early, he says, " It's up to you, darlin'." Five times later, I give the go- ahead, and on the drive home and every minute since then, he's told me, " I wish we'd stayed ." Ass.
And with great relief I relieved myself to the strains of " Baby I'm Amazed", in the arena restrooms.

Of course, if we'd stayed, I wouldn't have the next great story to tell you......


For more on the story in " Atlanta Journal Constitution"
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      ( 10:23 PM ) sisoflexx
Chapter 2

Our Flight Of Terror


Through Centennial Olympic Park



Part One...

This story may take a while, to try and block it out, yet commit it to pages, I don't know.
Just messing. This segment takes you, the reader, to the night of May 13th, after Jay and I decided ( well, I decided ) to leave Paul McCartney's concert early. Yes, early.
We couldn't find our way out of Phillips' Arena. Let this be a note in case there was a fire or, gad forbid, a terrorist threat. Where are the exits, assholes ?! You know what I like, whether we were getting in or out, you had those few ' helpful ' employees, whom you would ask, " Is this the entrance ?" And they would look at you like you were the stupidest people they'd ever met, then shake their heads, and point off to the right, mumble, " Dun thar." Jay and I would walk off, laughing at how this was our first time here, yet people who spend most their lives here think you're a moron not to notice what they take for granted. Speaking of taking, let me get to the best part, as we're finding our way out of the prison...

We finally get out, and pass the door we left twice, as Jay decided we weren't going the right way to our ' car park'. Okay, now we're targets. ( Also, I have to mention, we'd had an earlier storm, and the winds were 60 miles an hour then, and it felt like that now, only the temperature had dropped. ) We pass the outside smoking section of the arena, where these people were jonesing during the encore...Oh, yeah, we're leaving., I can't throw stones ! Anyway, as we pass, this vagrant-type-person sidles along-side of us. Jay's walking like he's got the-clap-he's-got-to-itch, and I'm doing the ' power walk ' to keep up, and vagrant dude says, " How was the concert ?" Jay's ahead, I respond, without looking at him, " Great."
He says, " When do you think it'll be over ?" Again, without looking, ( which, I couldn't, because my hair was whipping about my face so violently ) I say , " 'Bout 15 minutes." And I squint and see Jay's gained 5 extra feet on me. The vagrant-dude see's he's getting no-where with me, and decides to strike up conversation with Baldy-locks. Entering 'dealer-persona-mode', he says to Jay, " Yo ! Slick ! Slim! Big guy, I wanna ask you something ! " And Jay turned, said," I'm not going to talk to you. " Then resumed the power walk. The vagrant said," What ? ! Oh yeah, yeah, I ke-ep- for-gettin', we not in love an-ny more! I keep forgettin', things will ne-ever be the sa-ame A-gain! " Jay yelled, " We never were ! "
While we're rushing into this head wind, clothes snapping, vagrant-turned-potential-dealer serenading us on power-walking heels, a man in a suit with a gnome-like face heads towards us, beaming. He thrusts a clip-board in Jay's chest, I could only catch "....Petition...against drugs...sign it.." Jay shoved it back at him, and I thrust my thumb behind me ,in the direction of the vagrant-dealer, and said, " Talk to him ! "
And as we rushed by him, the vagrant-dude was still serenading us. Different song, and Jay and I can't remember which song, but I know if I hear it again, by gad I'll remember ! Now I hear him saying, " Dekalb boys, Dekalb boys, watcha gonna do..." And I look to my left and see a police cruiser, and all of a sudden, vagrant dude makes a beeline into a drive-in entrance of a hotel, saying, " I got'saroomintheomni! "
He cut through there, then walked off down another street.

Now we cross the street, entering " The Olympic Centennial Park ". Dark. Quiet. Well, except for the howling winds, that is. Jay said later he noticed two men walking in our direction, and I told him I saw them also, through my mass of wildly flying hair. As we walked along the driveway, there was a black 'Ford Explorer' driving so slowly, he must have been in neutral, behind us. Of course, I thought there's no way for the Ford to catch us, the way Jay was sprinting across the park. This where the story gets funny to me, and realize, I didn;t say Jay found this funny. Oh, no, not in the least. In fact, Jay has told me he'll write his own account, so I can paste it in later.
Now, those who know me personally can vouch for the fact I'm definately out of shape. Those who read my blog know I'm in the middle of recuperating from a violent chestcold/flu. Oh, and I smoke a pack a day, if that matters any. But you have to imagine, as I'm struggling for a breath, not only because of my depleted lungs, but because my hair is in my nostrils, down my throat, and wrapped around my throat, in my eyes...You get the picture, not pretty. I 'm five feet behind Jay, my thighs are burning, and I say, " Honey, I can't keep up with you ! " He turns momentarily, faces me, and his eyes were full of panic/horror. He said, "
" Darlin', we are not slowing down ! In fact, speed it up ! "( He tells me later why he was so insistant.) I know he's on his guard, I am too, but I guess I took his urgency and turned it into a massive case of the giggles, which didn't help my chest much! ( Or relieve Jay's worries !)
By the time we get through the park, and we get to another road crossing, my legs are rubber. We satnd at the curb, the oncoming traffic's a bit away, and Jay's urging me to hurry, cross the road, and I'm hoping my legs don't give out in the middle of it. I jog across the road, and by the time I make the other side, I'm at a pretty good speed ( for me , anyway ! ) and the other side is downhill, I'm running downthe hill, giggling, hair wrapped around my throat and eyes, and the immature trees on the curbside are whipping around in the wind, the wind's howling through the streets, whistling in my ears, and Jay spreads his arms out, singing " Omen "- type vocals as we run : " Aah-Laa-TI-ti- Tu -Vaa -TaaN! Suh-Vi-Ti-O-o-h-m- tu-tu vah! " Then we got into the parking garage, into the car, and as we were winded, we could barely speak. I think we were just happy to be safe in ' the car ', until we got to the paybooth, and there was no-one there. Jay was ready to get out of the car and snap the auto-arm off, just to get out. Thank gad the attendant showed up just then !

We talked more about our evening over the days.......

Remember- Jay will post his version to this terror-filled night !

P.S. : I will also have commentary about the sucky pre-show, and audience members I personally interviewed. ( Well, sat next to, anyway.)
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May 13, 2002
      ( 3:29 PM ) sisoflexx
Now, no more Blogging for today...

...I'm off to see

Paul !!!

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      ( 3:21 PM ) sisoflexx
My brother is too kind !

" My sister was blogging her ass off this weekend. Now I really feel like a slacker.
Don't worry, Heather, keep that calorie burning Blogging thing going, you'll lose those extra pounds in no time!

Teach you to mention how old I am."
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      ( 3:18 PM ) sisoflexx
By the way, it's now 4 days 'til

Lex's

32nd

birthday!!!

( Skeletor )

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May 12, 2002
      ( 10:51 PM ) sisoflexx
Which High School Stereotype are you?
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      ( 10:06 PM ) sisoflexx
I've got some more pictures on my " other " page. Check 'em out !
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      ( 7:54 PM ) sisoflexx

Blast ! Blast ! Blast !


From the Past ! Past ! Past !

Yes, another story from yesteryear. Actually, from 1995.
I went to a Halloween party up near Baltimore, stayed way too late.
I was up at 5am that morning, and by the time I left the party it was going on 6am.
No, I did not drink I knew it was an hour drive home, to Alexandria, and even
thought, as tired as I was, I should probably just crash ( no pun intended )in his extra room, as I was told to do by the host.
But, silly me, I thought I'd be fine, and off I went.
As I started out on I-95 South to Washington, DC, I felt really tired, and even came upon the rest area, and it passed my mind to stop and sleep. This wasn't even 10 minutes from the house I'd just left!
But I ignored that thought, thinking, if only I could just get home , to my own nice, warm bed.....

.....This is where I felt the car bumping, and opened my eyes, to find I was on the right shoulder, with an orange barrel directly in my path. I shrieked, yanked the wheel to the left, but, once back on the road, I couldn't turn the wheel back to the right. The car just kept going, I had no control.
I shot across all 4 lanes , and I saw the median right in front of me, coming fast....
....This is where the life is supposed to flash before your eyes, but mine didn't. The thought I had before impact was, " Oh, Heather, you stupid bitch, you've really done it now ! " Honest. That's exactly what I thought.

I flew across a concrete gully, and hit the grass on the other side, my left front bumper took that impact,
and I flipped end over end once, then rolled 3 times. ( I know this , because the guy who came to my rescue told me. ) I had my eyes squeezed shut, and as I banged around, I really could compare it with a rollar-coaster ride. Like, 'The Grizzly', at King's Dominion, the big , shuddering wooden goliath.
Luckily, ( yes ) I was on a hill, and rolled up it. Otherwise, I believe I would have ended up in north-bound traffic.

My car came to rest on the drivers' side, facing the way I'd come. I opened my eyes, and slowly reached and turned off the ignition, as the engine's still running, and I didn't know if there was gas shooting out or not.
( I honestly didn't know if turning the key would be a good idea, either, but, neither is driving with your eyes closed. ) I took my seatbelt off, and stood on the drivers' side window , then felt around, looking for my purse, and found my Diet Coke, thought, oh good, then resumed my search, and found my ciggies and lighter, thought, " I'll definately need these ! " ( I also found the Jack, which had come unclipped from under the seat , how it didn't hit me, I'll never know ! ) Then I found my purse, and wondered how the hell I was going to get out. I reached up, and pulled the handle to the passenger side , and pushed the door up. I couldn't see how I was going to lift myself out, as I have no upper-body strength. Just then, my rescuer appeared, looking through the windsheild ( yes, it was still intact ) and he told me to "Wait a minute, he'd get me out, be right back ." When he returned, he told me to stay back from the roof, I did, and a knife blade plunged through, and the guy cut a big triangle -sized opening in the soft-top. And my thought at that time, honestly, was , " Hey ! Asshole! I just bought that, it's new ! " ( I had just replaced the old one a few months before, when I had got the car back after a theft, where it was gone for three weeks, and that's a different story ! ) So, this guy gives me a hand, helps me out via the roof, and I turn and look at the mangled car, thinking, " Gads, go ahead and run the knife all over it ! It's done for. "

That poor car. The wheels were all bent in & under, all the boxy angles were now rounded, what a mess.
And even though it was a Geo Tracker, it didn't flip because I turned too sharply. ( No, slamming into a hill at 50 miles an hour will do that ! ) And it's roll bar obviously did it's job, I walked away from that mangled heap with a bump on the back of my head from that crappy hard plastic head-rest, a bruise on my shin from my leg flying up and hitting under the dash, and finally, a burn mark on the left side of my neck, from the seatbelt. ( True believer, here, of seatbelts ! )
Then the tow-truck came, and the guy walked around the car a few times, and told me he'd have to roll it back down the hill, so he could tow it. " You may not want to watch this. " He said. But I did, because the episode was wild. Unbelievable.

The rescuer, who saw the whole escapade, said I was lucky in more ways than I could ever know. When I shot across the 4 lanes, I zipped right across the path of a tractor-trailer, and another car. This why you should watch other vehicles, and see what they're up to, you never know what some idiot is capable of !
And one good lesson I learned, was you don't drive if you feel sleepy. It's as bad as driving drunk. Of course, it took me having an accident while driving sleepy to teach me not to do it anymore, just like being arrested for DUI finally opened my eyes , and put a halt to thinking I could drive drunk perfectly fine. I do alot of things I should know better , that it's wrong. I'm not completely stupid, ( believe it or not ) but at least I do learn from my mistakes. Most of the time. =P

I went back the next day, to the crash site, and took pictures, and picked up the tapes, sun-reflector, and other crap that had fallen out, while the tow-truck guy rolled the Tracker back down the hill. And then I went to the junk-yard, found my car, and got the rest of my belongings. I found a river rock that Diana had plucked out of a garden in Old Town Alexandria, the week before, but had forgotten to take with her. That thing was bouncing around in the car , just like the jack, I'm so lucky my head didn't get caved in!

I took the grille I found at the crash site home, and put it in the living room, where my mother came home and yelled at me for having to see that. She was pissed, that's for sure. I can see why , though. I just wasn't thinking. Just like the night before !
Let this be a lesson, if anything, I'm glad to re-tell the story, because I'm still around to do so. And it makes for a cool read! I've added pics of the carnage to my albums.
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      ( 5:26 PM ) sisoflexx
I found this site a while ago, through my brother. Lex said to check it out for teenage-dating stories. I visited again today, and found out that W. Bruce Cameron is asking for stories on men. So I know I have a good chance that my stories of Jay will appear in his next book. I have lots of good stories about him !
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      ( 3:56 PM ) sisoflexx
This page looks like a Lex handbook. You know, I love to visit sites like this one :eviljames.com - where nothing is sacred. because I feel smarter when I read them. But I'm not. I like the illusion of feeling smarter ! But the site did remind me of my computer nerd brother. And I'm not saying that in a bad way, I really wish I could grasp this crap better. Oh well, enough of ho*linking . Gads!
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      ( 2:30 PM ) sisoflexx
One more thing
Well, probably not the last thing, but I just remembered this :
Friday night it hailed . Alot. It's weird to have 85 degree weather out, and little chunks of ice are rattling and pinging off your car. I took some photos, maybe they'll come out.

Okay, PEACE! OUT!
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      ( 2:04 PM ) sisoflexx
Talk about irony...
This poor woman finally had her death, but not death wish.
She didn't want to suffocate, which is the usual end to someone in her plight, but was refused her death wish .
RIGHT- TO-DIE campaigner Diane Pretty has died less than two weeks after losing her case in the EU Human Rights court.
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      ( 1:59 PM ) sisoflexx
Tommorrow I'm going to see the guy who sings " Yesterday "!!!

Yes, folks, a dream come true. I can dream about how he'll glance out in the crowd, eyes locking with another love named Heather , and she lifts a roll of Angel Soft to her face and sprays all those seated around her.
So romantic , sigh.....

In other news,
P A U L is getting re-married this summer, and says his kids aren't too happy about it.
" I think a second marriage is hard for the children," he said. "But it's how it is and how it must be, and I think that more than anything they want me to be happy -- and this is what makes me happy."
McCartney -- who will turn 60 next month -- has three children from his marriage to Linda as well as a daughter from Linda's previous marriage.
He is currently on tour in the United States -- his first American concert tour in almost 10 years.
YES !!!
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      ( 1:57 PM ) sisoflexx
Life is Funny
Read about it!!

Wizard's GAY SLANG DICTIONARY
There's something for everyone, after all....

Which reminds me. 5 more days 'til Lex's birthday
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      ( 1:55 PM ) sisoflexx
Happy Mother's Day
Whatever!

I feel a little better today, whatever's in my chest is breaking up. Tar, I'd say.
I have a grocery bag here full to the brim with snot rags. My dose is red and raw.
No Puffs Plus for me ! I get a roll of Angel Soft, so when I blow, it bursts out the side of the tissue and covers my printer.
Which reminds me, I need to spray Lysol over the monitor, keyboard, and printer. Oh, the mouse, too.
Does this entry look like a commercial, or what ?
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      ( 3:44 AM ) sisoflexx
Mr. Acidman says he's only 41 % worshippable

I love his ex-wife stories. I won't say his nick-name for her here, but visit his page and see for yourself.
Too funny !
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      ( 2:35 AM ) sisoflexx
I guess I can write about this...

...I think I've bared my soul quite a bit on my blog, and there'll be more to come.

I've been quite depressed for the past week. And I couldn't for the life of me think why.
I thought of possible reasons :
1. My marriage. No, I'm as happy in that area as I've ever been. I
mean, I'm still boss bitch around here.

2. My job. No, I'm doing well there, some crap happens, but that's
with every job, and it's better than the HELL I came from. I actually have fun cutting up there, as
you can tell by my musings.

3. My friends. Well , I have 2 friends, and I hate people, so I don't want any more. Maybe, I thought,
Diana's troubles and the sad problems she's going through, is dripping on me, but no, that's not it.

4. My son. No, he's fuckin' adorable, and who couldn't love a punim ( What the hell does that mean, by the way ? ) like his ? Which reminds me, Jay has a Bill Hicks' tape, and Bill says, " I'm here to tell you, your kids aren't special. " The audience goes silent. " Oh, I know you think they're special, ha ha.
But I'm here to tell you, they're not ." He then goes on to explain the miracles of conception, and with millions of sperm, what are the odds? He then goes on to say " I've had entire civilizations encrusted in my navel." And, " Billions of these 'miracles' have been blown into an old grey sweatsock. "

Got off track there, and forgot that I'm depressed. Too funny.

Oh ! It hit me the other day, driving to work. I'm running this list over and over through my mind, and couldn't think what the hell it was. Then a song comes on,I start weeping like Stimpy losing Ren, and I can't even remember the song's name, thanks to my damn carbon monoxide experience!

The reason is perfectly simple, a child would understand it. I miss my Mummy.
See ? A child would understand that. Just because I'm 29 doesn't mean I can't miss my Mummy .
Okay, okay, I'm 34, but let's not divert from the real issues , here. My age is of no importance.
And it's not because ' Mother's Day ' is coming up, we oops, I mean, ' I ' never held that hallmark holiday in high esteem anyways. I hold both my parents' in high regard, and talk to them weekly. ( Hey, it's expensive, okay ? )
My Mum's birthday is May 30th. I think there has been very few birthday's of hers that I haven't been able to spend with her, as it's on Memorial Day weekend. And it's only been 5 months that I've seen her, but that's 4 months' entirely too long. Now I can see why bootcamp and tech school was such hell, but even then it was only 5 months, and that been the longest time I've gone without seeing her.
I'm glad I've finally cleared up why , but I'm still weeping like a baby off the tit too long. And I'm afraid that since I won't see her for the rest of the year at least , I'll still be a mass of quivering jelly.
Maybe after this month is over, I'll have 'closure ' ( stupid word ). And I'll put the sadness off until Christmas. Oh, shit ! What'll I do if she doesn't get to come back then !? Aww, man!!

So I don't confuse the 2 readers out of the 4 who visit this page, who don't know where my Mum is :
She moved from Virginia in May of 2001, to Manchester , England. She's subsequently moved to Writtle, in Essex. ( Heh, heh, she said , " sex ". ) She came to visit in Christmas, 2001, and that's all, folks !

WAA-AAGH!!!

Oh yes, and by the way, " Lex's birthday " is 6 days' from now.
32, hmmm?
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      ( 2:33 AM ) sisoflexx
Ugh! I feel worse than I did yesterday !

Oh well, it's not like I haven't been sick before. This too shall pass.

I remember the worst flu I had, a few years ago. I got up and ready, felt crappy, but ,
' Gotta job to do !' I drove an hour to Athens to work, and by then, my eyes were burning,
tears streaming down my face, and I was shaking and hurting all over. I thought to myself,
" This is like driving drunk, I should have called in sick. " When I got there, I told my supervisor I
could only stay a few hours. He tried to talk me out of it, but I said no. Of course he didn't ask me to go get some medical attention, no siree! I went to the doctors on the way home, and sat in the recliner for the rest of the day.
Jay came home from work, and looked a pile of laundry on the couch. " Jeez, couldn't you have at least folded the clothes ? You've been home all day ."
I just looked at him with dull, red, weeping eyes, and didn't say anything. I told him later I thought that his question didn't deserve a response.
A day later, Jay woke up, feeling miserable. " I'm so sorry, darlin', I had no idea it was this bad. It's awful ! "
As he couldn't lift his head off his pillow, I just bent over him and asked, " Are you sure you can't do a few loads of laundry, since you're not going to work today ?"
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      ( 2:22 AM ) sisoflexx
I don't know how old...
...this story is, but

this Man (Laden Trash bin - Wants You Dead
No, really ?
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May 11, 2002
      ( 12:34 PM ) sisoflexx
The " real life " Sybil Fawlty has something to say about John Cleese !
Visit this story of Fawlty Towers and see why !
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      ( 12:30 PM ) sisoflexx
I always worry about Amtrak..
But then I read about train stations being ripped apart by Britain's trains hitting stations, just lolly-gagging at 100 m.p.h.
I read a story of a near de-railment in Ohio in Reader's Digest , but couldn't find the link for ya. Sorry !
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      ( 10:05 AM ) sisoflexx

Former U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno and the red pickup truck she was driving -- a hallmark of her Florida gubernatorial campaign -- were in a minor traffic accident on Thursday, police and campaign officials said.
Reno, 63, kicked off her bid for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination by driving the red pickup truck on a 15-day tour of the state in February and March, playing up her Florida roots and folksy manner. She is expected to face Republican Gov. Jeb Bush in the November general election.
Does she call her red pick- up " Ruby Ridge " no, not fair of me, she wasn't involved. Sorry, Janet.
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      ( 9:48 AM ) sisoflexx
Artist's Prank Freeway Sign Helps Motorists

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - For nine months not a single driver among the hundreds of thousands of motorists who daily ply downtown Los Angeles' main freeway noticed that there was something odd about the large, green sign guiding them through the complex and confusing transition from the Harbor Freeway onto California's Interstate 5. It was a fake. But such a clever fake that not even Caltrans, the people responsible for the signs, realized it was not one of their own, but a hand-painted replica, created by Los Angeles artist and frustrated commuter Richard Ankrom .

The artist, who moonlights as a freelance sign maker, came up with the idea for the sign three years ago while often getting lost trying to locate the right exit ramp to I-5. Rather than lodge a complaint with transportation officials he simply designed a sign guiding motorists north. "It needed to be done," he told the paper. "It's not like it was something that was intentionally wrong. The artist added that he would prefer that Caltrans return his work if they decide not to use it.

He needs to put some up in Michigan


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      ( 9:09 AM ) sisoflexx
This is for Jay :
Since he tried to get me to read this infernal book, by the author he worships !

Wake Me Up on Judgment Day
VERY FUNNY, AYN: In the spirit of my rewrite of Atlas Shrugged.

DavidMSC offers up a link to Objectivist pickup lines.
One I can't believe was left out: "A is A, and 8 inches is 8 inches. And that ain't no contradiction, baby." How do you think Nathaniel Branden got himself into that whole mess in the first place?

I just couldn't get past the first page. Give me Stephen King, for pete's sake !
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May 10, 2002
      ( 7:01 PM ) sisoflexx
I visited a new site today...

Called Nutz , you have to see his pictures of an Amsterdam Museum ! I've never seen such usage of penile art before. It's like Lex's living room! Diana's booking her visit to Holland right now !
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      ( 6:53 PM ) sisoflexx
Another one of those Fun Quizzes

I am 74% worshipable! And you? Find out!
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      ( 2:29 PM ) sisoflexx
Really feeling bad today.

I have some sort of chest infection, I felt it come on last night , after typing all those horrible stories about our model tech, Judy. I guess it serves me right.

So don't be disappointed in lack of mirth today. :o(
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      ( 2:22 PM ) sisoflexx
I logged onto Shakespear's Monkey last night, and saw this post , and left a comment :

"A report released at a conference this week suggests a parent should be very worried because high school students with body piercings tend also to have smoked, used alcohol, had sex, skipped school and gotten into fights. "

The author of the report proudly annonced that later this week he would be releasing several new reports such as "Black Males - More likely to commit crime" and other assinine topics -- Metafilter


Comments:

Yes, it's all true.
And middle-eastern teenagers with fanny packs stuffed with explosives are more apt to blow up in a crowded shop or pool hall.

Posted by: sisoflexx on May 9, 2002 09:51


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May 9, 2002
      ( 6:15 PM ) sisoflexx
Our Money

Jay I were watching the daily cop show, you know the one, chases, bungled burglaries, etc.
They showed a segment where they duped a rookie by playing a practical joke on him, using a mime as suspect.
This was all done with video surveillence from in side the mime's (impounded, I'm sure ) van, a white van across the parking lot, ( more plunder, probably some poor john looking for his first score, BUT : the law's the law ) and a small button-hole camera in the mime's shirt.
Wait, I haven't gotten to the funny part, yet.
Jay mentions, yeah, okay, the gag's gone on long enough, let's move on, and I say," Never mind the fact their using our money for their fricking practical joke."
And Jay said something very poignant, and remember, this guy's a drummer:
" It's not your money, and I always find it hilarious when people complain about how the government is spending their money ."
I said, " Okay, I see, it's not my money because I gave it.."
" No, you didn't give it, it was taken from you. "
I say, " Yes, it was taken, that's a good point.."
" But, even that their money was ' taken ' is a moot point. People bitch about their money being spent on foolish
things by the government, and that's like bemoaning about a thief who's broken into your house, stolen money, jewelry or other family treasures, then he goes out and spends it foolishly, on crack or his 'ho. Would they complain about how a thief is spending their money, then ?"

He is SO funny.
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      ( 3:18 PM ) sisoflexx
Today at work...

...I looked through the model room window to see our ' model tech ' ( that's an oxymoron, by the way ) Judy, waving her arms and stamping her feet and yelling.
She came out and told Semi that there were a bunch of bugs in her room.
I remember Lisa telling me a few days ago that once a year we get termites in the model room.
Judy went back in her room, then after a few minutes, thumped on her window to get my attention, then beckoned me by crooking her finger. ( This with the perpetual cigarette dangling from her lips. )
I went into the model room, and sure enough, the termites were swarming.
I located where they were coming from, the ceiling, through the tiles. They were all over the floor, dropping down from the ceiling, and as soon as I saw them, my scalp started itching. I could imagine them crawling in my hair.
Semi finally came in , and I saw through the window that he was itching his head, running his fingers through his scalp. Then he agreed we needed a can of Raid, so off he went.
Yana and I were smoking outside, and Judy had her model room door open.
Yana laughed, and said, " Lick at bugs come out of room."
I looked, and sure enough, you could see the termites flying for freedom. Then we heard an air hose being blasted, and hundreds of those fuckers blasted out into the sunlight.
Yana and I walked down to the room, and peeked our heads around the corner. Judy saw us, scowled, ( as usual ) and said, cigarette dangling precariously, " You guys can both KISS MY ASS !!!"
Then later, when Semi returned with the Raid, she sprayed the open space in the ceiling tiles liberally, until the yellow tar was running down the wall in rivulets. Then, for reasons I'm not aware of, she shut the freaking door to the outside . The smell was bad enough out where I was sitting, but how the hell she kept working in that enclosed room, I'll never know. Then she wonders why she's got a hacking cough. She blames it on mold and mildew . Or anything else, for that matter, not once mentioning the 4 packs she smokes a day.
In an enclosed room.
Whole can of Raid.
Licking the model dust off of her glasses.
Yes. You read right. Licking plaster. From models she's just poured up and trimmed on the model trimmer, wet plaster from impressions straight out of patient's HIV infested rot holes.
But her hacking cough is due to mold and mildew, folks.

Also at work today

Yana and I were outside on yet another smoke break ( hear that, Semi ?) when Yana looked down in dismay at the dress she was wearing, a racy little ( and I mean little ) sleeveless silk number, because she had white porcelain powder dusted all over it.
She said, " Licky this."
As I knelt down, I realized in horror that she had actually said, " Look at this ."
So I dropped my cigarette, pretending I was picking it up.
Maybe Diana was right, that Yana is coming on to me ?

Hmmm.
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May 8, 2002
      ( 4:21 PM ) sisoflexx
At first, when I read that this web site had Tawny Kitaen before and after pictures, with a recent arrest/mug shot, I thought " cool ".
After seeing them, it left me depresssed. I loved her in all the 80's crap, and I really wasn't prepared to see this.

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      ( 4:17 PM ) sisoflexx
On the other hand, I heard on the radio show with " M. J. " ( Michael Jackson ? ) that Michael's nose resembled and electric outlet/ socket. really, doesn't it?
Anyway, I really do urge you to link to this site, and watch a slide show of all of Jocko's noses.

It's really good, I tell you !
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      ( 3:44 PM ) sisoflexx
I see that I actually have something to look forward to.

FOR women, life begins at 50, according to a study that has shown they are happier, healthier, more independent and have better sex lives in middle age.

A survey of 200 "fiftysomething" women found that two thirds were happier after the menopause. Sixty-six per cent were more independent, 64 per cent said their sex lives had improved or not changed and 59 per cent said personal and family relationships had got better.

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      ( 3:32 PM ) sisoflexx
Today at work...

Semi had me rolling with laughter, tears in my eyes.
He happened to be at the restroom door, to grab the knob, when Judy, our model tech opened it.
I heard her yelling, " At least let me get out before you go in here ! "
Then I heard Semi say, " You didn't even wash your hands !"
Judy : " I don't touch myself like you guys do. I've got my hands in water all day." ( Yeah, after handling infected impressions out of some patient's rot hole ! )
Semi : " You're saying your hand doesn't contact your bush ?"
Judy : " No ! I use plenty of toilet paper ! "

I'm dying.

Semi : " And why is the toilet seat up ? Do you hover ? ( I actually thought he made that part up, until I heard Judy speak up again :)
Judy : " Don't think I'm gonna sit my ass on that seat, especially after you've been in there ! "
( He was telling the truth ! And I now have a mental image of Judy sqatting , " hovering " her ass over the rim of the bowl. )
And all along, I thought the guys were pissing all over the floor !
So Semi followed her into her room, screwing with her some more, and I see through the big window, that she's shoving him towards the door, yelling, " Get away from me, asshole ! "

I had tears running down my face ! Honest. Oh boy.
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      ( 2:56 PM ) sisoflexx
Had to post this...
Funny word for the week...

John Daly goes into this week's Benson and Hedges International Open at The Belfry hoping the 'mini-stroke' he suffered last weekend will not hinder his chance to win another European Tour event.

What, may I ask, is a ' mini-stroke ' ?

Do his doctors tell him this to make it sound less severe ? Or is it P.C. medical jargon ?
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      ( 2:54 PM ) sisoflexx
RAMALLAH, West Bank (Reuters) - Palestinian President Yasser Ahm-a-rat, under pressure to crack down on militants following a suicide bombing, Wednesday ordered Palestinian security forces to foil any attempt to attack Israeli civilians.

"I have given orders to Palestinian security forces to confront and prevent any terrorist operations against Israeli civilians by any Palestinian party, parallel to confronting any aggression on Palestinian civilians from the Israeli army and Jewish settlers which we all condemn," Arafat said in a statement.

A little too late, buddy.


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      ( 2:51 PM ) sisoflexx
I have green moss on my tongue and the skin on my hands resembles a rotting fish corpse, but scientists discover that Drinking Water Is Linked to Lower Heart Disease Risk

Want to lower your risk of having a heart attack? Drink more water, and less of everything else, new research reports.
Researchers at Loma Linda University in California found that people who drank at least five glasses of water each day were less likely to die from a heart attack than those who drank two or fewer glasses per day.
In contrast, people who drank a lot of other fluids were more likely to die from heart attack than those who drank less, with high levels of non-water drinking in women associated with a more than twofold increased risk of death.

They obviously don't know who's running the water treatment plants, right, Jay ?
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      ( 2:41 PM ) sisoflexx
I took an IQ test
the other day, it told me I had to answer 30 -odd questions in 12 minutes.
I thought, okay, I'll try it, see how it is.
I started, and gazed in amazement at the screen.
What the hell... I can't answer this crap, even if I had an hour!
So I cheated.
I frickin' did this true/false quiz by guessing.
And this is my results:

Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 120.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 111-128 is considered to be "above average intelligence".

Well, I guess I showed above average intelligence in not even trying to complete it honestly.
God knows what my score would have been then.
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May 7, 2002
      ( 9:22 PM ) sisoflexx
I owe everything to Mario
Actually, Princess Peach,,,
I particularly envisioned this on my morning drive down 85 South, just past Old Peachtree Road. ( Peach, geddit ? )
When I saw the cars in front of me swerving off to the right, I actually paid attention.
( Especially the huge Gwinnett transit bus ! )
When the obstacle came into view, I saw it was a semi- blowout-tire carcass, and I had the obligatory 3 seconds in which to react.
I manuevered my car around it to the right, with a vehicle in the lane to the right, with room to spare. I'm sure gramps was shitting himself, but so what?

I really did feel like Princess Peach, navigating around a banana peel that son of a bitch Bowser had dropped right in front of me, a music note in a word balloon appearing over my head.

If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, you obviously haven't played N64's ' Mario Cart.'
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      ( 8:11 PM ) sisoflexx
Study Links Breast-Feeding to Higher Adult IQ
Oh, I don't think so !

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Infants who are breast-fed for up to 9 months may out-smart their peers as adults, a new study suggests.

Excuse me, but did I not suckle from the same breasts as my brother ?

The findings support a growing body of research linking breast-feeding with intellectual development in early and middle childhood, but are the first to show an association between breast-feeding and adult intelligence, Dr. Erik Lykke Mortensen, the study's lead author, told Reuters Health.

It is not clear why breast-fed infants may log higher IQs as adults, but Mortensen and colleagues speculate that breast milk contains beneficial nutrients not found in formula or cow's milk. Breast milk contains docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) and arachidonic acid (AA)--long-chain polyunsaturated fatty acids that appear to support brain development, according to previous studies. These nutrients were recently added to some infant formulas sold in the United States.

Alternatively, the physical and psychological bond between a mother and child that develops during breast-feeding might also play a role by stimulating brain development, or unidentified environmental factors may be at work. For instance, the researchers suggest, the amount of time a woman spends breast-feeding her child may serve as a marker of the time and energy she invests in the child's entire upbringing.

This may be true.
Both my brother and I love our parents dearly. Right, Lex ?

Lex?

Longer duration of breast-feeding was more common among older moms and those with more education and higher social status, and among infants with higher birth weights and lengths, the study found. Single women and those who smoked were the least likely to breast-feed for long periods.

Of course ! I would like to think they wouldn't smoke while their kid's on the tit.
Oh, I'm so sorry, Morgan.
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      ( 8:07 PM ) sisoflexx
Vanity Fair Sees Chelsea Transformed to Sex Symbol

Whaa-aa?
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      ( 8:04 PM ) sisoflexx
Hey, I've walked a mile in her shoes !

Not!
Free Winona !

Of course, I was 11 years old.
It was chocolate eggs.
It was another girl, for cripe's sake !
Even Diana had her Crappy Cathy Doll
Remember ? With the snot- nose girl ?

But I guess it parallels somewhat , right ?
Naw.
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      ( 7:32 PM ) sisoflexx
I hear some <$GUT RUMBLINGS$ going on about the dear south, oops , I mean 'S'outh.
If you haven't done so, ( visited his site ) DO SO.
I mean , the guy linked my fart story, on his own blog, for ga-ads sake. How embarrassing !

Oh yeah, I posted that story my own self...
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      ( 6:51 PM ) sisoflexx
Today at work...
....In the filthy breakroom, Lisa, Yana and I had Philly ( Cheese ) Connection sandwiches for lunch. Yummy !
Yana was telling us funny stories of Destin, Florida , where she and her husband spent this past weekend.
They were fishing , and Yana went through some deeper water to get to a sandbar, where it was shallow, but away from the beach. She said her mother-in-law soon joined her. Her mom-in-law told her, " Yana, catch that one ! It's huge ! "
Yana followed mom-in-laws finger, and saw a big figure in the water, all right.
It was a shark
So , Lisa and I laughed at Yana's recollection of running on water, in the other direction.

Speaking of yummy
Yana was also trying to show us her sun burn. She thrust her ample cleavage in my face, poking me in my right eye with a rock hard K-2 nipple. Then, pulling the collar of her skin tight t-shirt down as far as she could, she said, " LE-EE-ECK ! " ( I swear to Ga-ad, I almost did. Really, it was quite tempting..) But then I realized she was saying, " LO-OO- OOK ! " So I put my tongue back in my mouth and agreed, she had gotten a bit of sun. WHEW !!!
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      ( 6:45 PM ) sisoflexx
At work, today...

This was all done with my back to them, just eavesdropping, so you have to imagine me.....

Semi and Lucky were discussing a case that the doctor wanted back by the 15th, and how they had to send it to New Jersey, to have copings made, it had to be back by the 14th, so Yana could put porcelain on it. This went on for a while, and Lucky walked off, then he came back and said a few more things, and then said, we should get it back by the 13th, so we can be sure to have enough time.
Semi said, " We can't, that's a Sunday. "
Lucky followed his gaze to the calendar the Semi was looking at and said, " Semi, that's the wrong month. "
So I busted out laughing, and Semi-modo told me to shut up.

That's all.
It makes me laugh, and that's all that matters.

Another Semi story for today....

...He handed me a full gold crown to finish. ( If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, sorry, but it amounts to Semi giving me his work to do, to put a plot to this funny.....)
I asked Semi, " Why are you giving me your gold crowns to finish all the time ?"
Semi said, " I'm letting you finish them because you're a million times better than me at it. "
I said, " You're also paid a million times better than me. "
Semi said, " Patience, grasshopper, you shall be rewarded . All in good time."

Should I wait to see what happens , raise-wise, or bend him over and shove that crown where it will never shine?

Or, I'm thinking , after posting this, should I get out the want-ads, in case he sees this ?
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      ( 5:26 PM ) sisoflexx
Well, I shouldn't be suprised ...

...That Rotten.com has a photo of Pim Fortuyn already.

They move quick.
They must be lawyers.
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      ( 4:55 PM ) sisoflexx
I mentioned a week ago
about a horrible crime, where an elderly man died defending his wife from burglers.
What makes this story even sadder, is the fact he was
killed in his golden wedding year
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      ( 4:41 PM ) sisoflexx
Why do the Palestinians keep complaining they are unjustly treated?
That's what I want to know.
Are the Israelis being shown preferential treatment, their crimes whitewashed by the western capitalist dogs ?

15 dead after Israel explosion
(Filed: 07/05/2002)

At least fifteen people are believed to have died after an explosion tore through a pool hall in the Israeli town of Rishon Letzion.

A police spokeswoman is reported to have said that it was a terrorist suicide bombing. The military wing of the radical Islamic movement Hamas is said to have claimed responsibility.

Meir Nitzan, the mayor of Rishon Letzion, said more than 60 people had been taken to hospital.

Yeruham Mandola, a spokesman for the Israeli ambulance service Magen David Adom, said that part of a hall had collapsed. He said: "Some of the wounded are trapped in the building"

A witness told Israel Radio a floor in the building collapsed on a nightclub.

David Baker, an official at the Israeli Prime Minister's office called it "another murderous attack against Israelis."

The explosion occured shortly after a meeting between Ariel Sharon, the Israeli Prime Minister, and George Bush, US President, was due to begin.

Obviously.
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May 6, 2002
      ( 9:59 PM ) sisoflexx
Flash ! Flash ! Flash ! From the Past! Past ! Past !

I guess it is a slow blog day if I'm contemplating telling you about wee sisoflexx in 5th grade, Pintemare Elementary School.....
....One of my favorite stories is sitting in class, listenening to the teacher, Mrs. Biggers ( Boogers )
drone on. All the students are quiet.

And I let one rip.

Lee, the boy-who-lived-next-door-from-us, seemed to be the only one who heard it, judging by my furtive glance , realizing he was looking at me, eyes wide, a mask of glee.
Followed by, " Heather farted !"
I could only do one thing, which was throw my pencil at him, narrowly missing his eye by half an inch.
Unfortunately, the teacher just happened to choose that moment to look over and see that .

She asked us what was going on, and why " Did Heather throw her pencil at you, Lee ?"
Lee, giggling furiously, pointed at me again, " Heather farted ! "
Instead of telling me to go to the principals office, or repremanding either of us, for that matter, Mrs. Biggers ( Boogers ) decided to give the class a pop health class, walking up to the chalkboard, drawing diagrams of the digestive system, starting with, " Gas is the natural product of digestive systems, and the way our bodies produce flatulence, which is ..."

I didn't hear anything after that, as I was slithering further down into my seat, ending up under the table, cheeks flaming.

And people wonder I'm so anal retentive .
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      ( 9:19 PM ) sisoflexx
I swear ta ga-ad, I would never know anything ...
...About current events if I didn't link to other weblogs like pejman, whom I found through my brother's page

Enough of this ho*linking, on to real issues:
The U.N. isn't so pretty after all....
Joel Mowbray on United Nations & Mideast on National Review

via pejmanpundit
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      ( 5:50 PM ) sisoflexx
I don't care what you say!

This is definitely a great little game!
:::: antcity ::::

Go on, try it, you know you want to......
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      ( 5:43 PM ) sisoflexx
Have you ever been trying....
Well, people tell me I'm trying all the time, but, what I meant to say was :
Have you ever tried to write mail, or on your blog page and those annoying little windows pop -up, and your sound is turned down, your face is glued to the keyboard, and you've typed a page and look up...
...and only the first 3 words are on the screen ?!
And there's that window, like the grim reaper, waiting for you to finish, he'd like a word with you.

Okay, I'm getting carried away again, I admit. In my case, my pop-up windows are Diana's Instant Messages.
It's hard to type and answer a friend at the same time. Oh! Here's a bit from our instant message today:

Diana: Where did you go ? You didn't say goodbye. heh heh
sisoflexx: My AOL froze up.
Diana: Your asshole froze up ! heh heh
sisoflexx: Yes, he's over there lying on the couch. heh heh

Later, we agree to converse by phone, say goodbye 5 times, and I turned AOL off, and started to head over to the laundry room to get some chores done.
**RING RING ** goes the phone.
I answer.
Diana:Where did you go ? You didn't say goodbye ! heh heh
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      ( 3:13 PM ) sisoflexx
Monday Mission from promoguy

1. Do you have any tattoos? If no, why not and what would you get if you did get one. If you do have one or more, tell us how you came to get it, and why you chose the design you got inked with.
Yes. I have one on my.. shoulder, I don't remember which, as it's behind me. Left, I think. It's Calvin and Hobbes riding downhill on a little Red Rider wagon at breakneck speed.

2. Has anything ever happened that caused you to believe, or disbelieve, in a Higher Power.
Nothing specifically, but I wasn't brought up religiously, so I don't consider my ' not believing ' bad in any way. Besides, I'm too old to believe in fairies.
3. Have you ever seriously considered, or even attempted, suicide?
Yes. I was in Air Force Tech Training , and had been given a final warning concerning my grades, and that if I didn't get my act together, I would be cross-trained into another career. After the meeting, I ran to the restrooms , where I bawled my eyes out. I thought, " I just want to die ". I was so miserable. I thought, " How to.." And my eyes came to rest on a cart filled with cleaning supplies. I saw a particular bottle with the ol' Skull and Crossbones, and imagined myself chugg-a-lugging this brew, and foam spewing forth, as it ate away my throat and other soft tissue.
I started laughing, and couldn't stop. I have never let suicide cross my mind ever again.
4. Has anyone you have known committed suicide?
No, but they've tried. I took a friend of mine, Vicki, to a hospital late one night, about the same time period, actually. Are 19 year-olds drama queens or what ?
5. This weekend you and I are going to the nature park for a picnic. I'll bring the blanket and make all the arrangements. You pack the picnic basket. What's inside?
Ham sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, boiled eggs, chips and sodas. No frills with me!
6. Have you ever been mad at God for something that happened (or didn't happen)?
No. It happens or doesn't happen . No reason.
7. Post (or describe) an image of someone that is no longer with us. Tell us about that person.
Vicki. ( The attempted suicide. ) After we finally graduated after 6 months of training, we all went to our bases. I went to Ohio, she went to Colorado. I got a call 4 months later, at work, from a trainer telling me that Vicki had died. My first thought, was, she finally did it. But know, she was finally enjoying life, having fun again, because that's the way I'll always picture her. She seemed to always be having fun. Too much fun, if you ask me.
She was beautiful, of Eskimo heritage, dark hair, that annoying little moustache she kept waxing . ;o)
She died when the tractor trailer in front of her detached it's back end in a freak act, and she wasn't aware the trailer was coming to a stop, not being pulled anymore. Vicki and her companion, another Air Force Airman/woman, died instantly, as did the couple driving behind Vicki.
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May 5, 2002
      ( 10:11 PM ) sisoflexx
Classmates.commies
I got on the photo album for the Wakefield High School class of 1986 and got to review these pics of me n' Lex in '85 and The Kids Decorating The Christmas Tree
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      ( 9:14 PM ) sisoflexx

Kitchen Inspections
I found these Kitchen inspections in The Gainesville Times, here in sunny Gainesville , Jawja.

Dock Holliday's, 6900 Holiday Road, Buford. Score: 87 Six pack of beef found in ice bin where ice is scooped to fill drinks. Only ice scoop may be stored in ice. Tea nozzles with extreme mold buildup. These nozzles unscrew completely to clean entire inside. Knives not cleaned properly before storage in knife rack. Not all cloths used to wipe food contact surfaces are being stored in sanitizer between use, even though sanitizer buckets are set up. Store all cleaning cloths in sanitizer to avoid bacterial growth. Damaged floor tiles throughout kitchen. Bare wood floor under fryer. These surfaces are not easily cleanable. Accumulation of grease on floor under cook line. Hood vents and inside hood need cleaning. Large amount of grease built up on louvres on vents can be a fire hazard. Outside vent leaking grease. This can be an attraction to insects and rodents. Large number of flies in kitchen.
And a school....
North Hall High School, 4885 Mount Vernon Road, Gainesville. Score: 94 Student kitchen help washing mop off in four-compartment sink. This sink is only to be used for washing kitchenware. Use mop sink. Wash and sanitize this sink before washing kitchenware in this sink. Slicer not cleaned properly after last use. Dried food on inside of blade guard and inside of blade. Completely prescrape then wash and sanitize. Fan guards on compressor in walk-in cooler very dusty. Keep clean to avoid dust particles falling into foods stored below. Metal flooring in walk-in cooler very rusted and not easily cleanable. Replace. Grease or oil has been dumped off concrete loading dock and into gravel and is attracting flies to back door of kitchen.

And....
Courtyard Restaurant, 400 E.E. Butler Parkway, Gainesville. Score: 93 All potentially hazardous foods must be disposed of once expiration date has been reached (three 5-pound containers of sour cream). Discussed the frequency that the Coke/tea spouts must be cleaned.
Nice, huh ?
I found one a few years about a rat in a mop bucket, in a place called " Bubba's Pizza ". Yummy!
I plan to keep this as an ongoing update, so let me know what you think!
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      ( 8:47 PM ) sisoflexx
An excerpt from The Werbinox Chronicles :

Misanthropic / adj. A general hatred or contempt for fellow human beings, of other people in general.
Opposite of philanthropist.

example : Jimmy Carter : philanthropist
Heather Taylor : misanthropist

example of 'misanthrope' in conversation :
Heather : " This movie just shows how stupid people are. I hate people ."
Jay : " My, aren't we the misanthrope ?"
Heather : " What did you call me, you idiot !? Tell me you stupid son of a bitch ! What kind of stupid fucked up word is that, dumbass? I hate you ! "
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      ( 8:04 PM ) sisoflexx
Today...
...Jay and I drove around Hall County, looking at houses for sale.
I am amazed at the diversity in these neighborhoods. You can view a roadside panorama of beautiful homes and mansions, then go around the corner and view abodes in your price range, such as mobile homes, trailers and what not. And the yards ! Oh, we saw eye candy today. The usual cars, with 5 years of pollen layering them, toy cars, even, littering the yard, as if the children were emulating dear old Pop. Why, in one trailer window we saw the grand ol' Confederate flag,
( our 7th one today ! And a sign in one yard, with a picture of the rebel flag and a slogan, " Let us vote !!! " Obviously they're not up on current events ! )
being used as a curtain. Such pride, but shouldn't you respectfully display your flag on a pole, maybe, off your front porch ? I mean, we could barely make it out through the grimey window, a corner folded over, obscuring a quarter of the flag, because the scotch tape had peeled off !
At one point, we drove by a house with a sattelite dish in the front. The dish was as big as a movie theater screen. I pointed it out to Jay, who pointed out to me that the dish was aiming right through the neighbors' house across the street, increasing their chances of cancer a hundred fold. Of course, we laughed on down the road, joking about testes' hardened like little walnuts . He also said maybe that is what caused Lisa's Electric Orgasm a few days ago. I need to ask her if she has a dish pointed at her house in the neighborhood.
Another house passed had a little log shack in it's yard. It had a stone chimney, little windows and a door. It's smaller than the shed my brother uses to store his lawnmower in.
I said to Jay , " Look, that looks like it used to be an actual home ! " And Jay said, " It probably still is ! " And we laughed some more. ( I wonder how much they're asking ?)
It's funny cuz it's true !
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      ( 6:57 PM ) sisoflexx
I' ve just read: Bush is to be given 'Arafat terror dossier' in the Telegraph link.
I hope something good finally comes of this horror. Sharon kicks ass.

The documents were seized by the Israeli army during its recent assault on Palestinian towns and refugee camps.

Danny Naveh, the Israeli cabinet minister who compiled the dossier, said: "If we are going to have a peace process, it cannot be with Arafat. He and his close aides are responsible for the cold-blooded murder of Israeli civilians."

The report attempts to show that Mr Arafat is the leader and financier of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, the militia responsible for most recent gun and bomb attacks.

The group is the armed wing of Mr Arafat's Fatah movement, and was placed on the US list of terrorist organisations in March.

In one document dated last September, Mr Arafat is requested to allocate £1,700 to each of three leading militants. In a hand-written note, Mr Arafat orders an allocation of £400 to each.

He is also shown to have approved cash to other known Fatah militants wanted by Israel, as well as for the support of families of militants killed during the 19-month-old intifada, or uprising.

The dossier claims that European Union aid to Mr Arafat's Palestinian Authority of £6 million a month serves indirectly to "pay the salaries of Fatah terrorists".


What ? We need proof of bad intent and evil now ?
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      ( 6:29 PM ) sisoflexx
Found a few jokes about drummers on allura.net today:

A phrase you'll never hear on a tour bus: "Hey, shouldn't we go back for the drummer?"

What's the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.

How can you tell that a drummer's been doing a crossword? All of the squares have been colored in.

What does it mean when a drummer is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? Because it can keep a steady beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.

Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Nah, me neither.

What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool.

What do they call the guy who follows the band around? The drummer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the drum solo.

Johnny says to his mom, "I want to be a drummer when I grow up!" His mom replies, "But sweetie, you can't do both!"

Of course, I find this incredibly funny because Jay is a drummer!
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May 4, 2002
      ( 10:01 PM ) sisoflexx
Hey ! My lucky number is seven !
And my 'scope for personal, if you want to call it that, was as follows:

If you’re a Seven, you possess a deeply analytical mind and an innate spiritual wisdom. You prefer to meet life on your own terms rather than following someone else’s lead. Indeed, you learn best when you are active and positive, finding out how life works by living it.

Though you do possess this lust for life, others may find you rather reserved, even aloof. You do have a calm and dignified manner, and what others perceive as aloofness may actually be a sort of mask that covers up a basic feeling of insecurity. The general chaos of life can sometimes contribute to this feeling; in times like these, a solo retreat into nature can be just the thing to recharge your batteries and re-equip you to deal with the uncertainties of everyday life.

Does this sound like me ?
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      ( 9:50 PM ) sisoflexx
I found a funny on Shakespear's Monkey today :


May 03, 2002

well fuck me.

another ex of mine is getting married.

I give up. I'm just going to start a dating service... "If you want to meet Mr. Right, just go out with me, and he'll come along shortly."



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      ( 9:29 PM ) sisoflexx
I'm adding a new link !
Not that anyone will notice, but...
...It's funny. So there!
<$GUT RUMBLES$>-Value
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      ( 8:52 PM ) sisoflexx
I found this excerpt in Kestrel's Nest.
Eric Wagoner lives in Jawja, so I could see the humor...

Items found inside a nice discarded Bible discovered while cleaning trash on our property:

A letter from a relative turning down a request for money and explaining why other family members would burn in hell

A full page ad from a Penthouse magazine for the Pam and Tommy video

A full page ad from a Mopar Action magazine for checks with classic cars on them

A full page ad from a Penthouse magazine for an herbal supplement that boosts male performance

A magazine ad for the Jerry Springer "Too Hot for TV!" video

A scrap of paper on which is written "Creed Dont sittle no skor"

A full page ad from Penthouse magazine for penile enlargement surgery

A scrap of paper with information about an order from Eastbay, a sporting goods company

A scrap of paper with citations for eight bible passages

A photo of a truck in front of a mobile home

A photo of a tractor

A photo of a station wagon

An envelope with citations for four bible passages and the note "God gave "Adam" charge over creation and his wife Eve. So when Eve was deceived who did the God call to in verse 9 of chapter 3?"

A piece of paper on which is written "If you wen't camp and you woke up with a ruber hanging from your ass would you tell iney bity."

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      ( 1:49 PM ) sisoflexx
Watching TV

We're actually in the middle of " Overboard " ( starring Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn ) on TNT.
And after 5 minutes of commercials, the movie returns.
And a freaking commercial pops up on the bottom of the screen . The actual movie rose up, and the bottom 1/5 of the screen became like a website pop-up commercial. I exclaimed out loud to Jay, and he said he'd seen it before. And is just like the annoying ads on the web. I can't believe it! They'll find a way to get to you every time. If this trend keeps up, I'll be calling and writing alot of people. Standard commercials are hell enough to put up with, and I'm going to have trouble ever watching TV again.
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      ( 1:39 PM ) sisoflexx
I woke up...
I got out of bed, and started down the stairs, and my knees and upper thighs were screaming in pain.
As I slowly hobbled down, baby step by baby step, I wondered, " What the hell did I do yesterday, to have this
effect on me ?"
Then I remembered : I was doing squat thrusts behind my car yesterday morning.
ACK!
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      ( 11:06 AM ) sisoflexx
Funny pic on PejmanPundit today. Take a look at this site, it's a little more intellectual than my site, so you won't be used to it. But you can afford to expand your mind ! ;o)
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      ( 10:39 AM ) sisoflexx
Barbie's creator died yesterday. I didn't know she named Barbie after her daughter, and Ken after her son. Interesting. She wouldn't like to know my son Morgan is playing with ' soldier' action figures, interacting with Barbie. Ugh! Click here to read about Ruth Handler, Barbies creator.
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      ( 10:25 AM ) sisoflexx
I always say I wouldn't be shocked at anything I read about crime, etc., because I have read it all. This, though it isn't a new crime, it's all been done before, it saddens even the jaded me.
An elderly man tries to protect his wife from burglers, and is beaten to death. What the hell ?
Click here to read this news clip.
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May 3, 2002
      ( 8:37 PM ) sisoflexx
New Photos

I just got Morgan's school photos. They defy description...

... Oh wait, I did describe them, in this link.

Click on the PURPLE words, Diana
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      ( 7:42 PM ) sisoflexx
This morning...

Pouring rain....

And what a morning it was! I reminded myself as I got closer to work, that I had
to stop at a gas station to get some smokes, and since I would need gas on the way
home, I'd just get it the same time.
I also thought to myself, that as soon as I did stop , I should call Morgan on my cell,
as he calls every morning around 7am to let me know he's up, shoot the shit, so to speak..
And since I was now running late, I figured this way we could speak and get it over with, hee hee.
So, after I pulled in, shut the car off, and called him, I got out to pump my gas. As soon
as I shut the door, I looked into my purse with dread. Yep, locked out!
So I went ahead, got the gas, went into the store, bought my precious fuckin' smokes, and told
the clerk what had happened. I told him that since I had a key in the bumper,
would be out there, bent over, messing with the end of my car, looking stupid, and to pay me no notice. Then he asks me how I could even
think that a key would stay up in the bumper without falling out while driving
and bumping around on the road. I had to explain that it was in a little magnetic box.( Tardo !)
So, it's raining, as I mentioned earlier, and I slap my purse up on the trunk, and squat down next to the car.
The car is next to one of those steel posts set next to the tanks, so you can't run into them,
and I can't get as close as I'd like to the rear-right bumper. I'm feeling around, both arms,
doing better with the left, but still not finding my special ledge.
Both arms are now covered with mud and axle-grease up to my elbows, and I go into
the store to get a paper towel. I go back out, give my job a call, to let them know what's
going on. Semi answers, and tells me to call back if I still can't find it , in a few minutes,
because he'll have to do my morning chores instead. Thanks, Semi, I'll be fine..
I see a patch of dry ground, I put my knee down and look under the bumper closely. I'm thinking,
" Where the hell is that fucker ?! " And my hair is hanging down, dragging in the wet muddy pavement,
and I could give a shit. I also noticed shards of glass within 2 inches of my face..... And I tackle the underside of the car with renewed vigour.
A van pulls up to the pump next to me, and as this man is grabbing his hose, he looks down at
me with mild curiosity. I explain, with my glasses askew, hair wet and muddy, and arms black
to the elbows like I have finished some great fist-fucking marathon, what I am
trying to accomplish. " Oh, okay ." He says, and turns his back to me to resume his chore.
I couldn't help thinking then, so help me, , ' If it had been Diana or Yana instead of me',
these guys would be tripping over themselves in haste to try anything, even stick
their dicks in the door lock to see if that would work, just to be my saviour.
I had to call Semi back, let him know what was going on, and he THEN said he'd come out to get me,
and I went inside the store and tried to wash my fist fucking arms off.
Semi shows up, and he tries to get his arm in the partially open window, as I told him his
arms are skinnier than mine. No go. I go in and ask the clerk if there was an ice scraper,
anything we could use to pop the lock, and he just shook his head. Again, 'if it had been
Diana or Yana..'
Semi got his tire iron out of his Mercedes SUV and tried that. It worked. I told him I could
have hugged him if it wouldn't be so..you know... eh !? You know.

This is the second time this has happened to me, and the other time was nearly a year ago. I know this,
because I had just bought my cell-phone. It was July, and scorching. I drove to the grocery store, saw I was in range of a tower,( you never know here, in bum fucked Jawja. )
So I pulled into the space, shut the car off, and dialed Diana. No answer, but I had to share this with someone ! I called my in-laws. No answer.Talk about dissappointed. I did get the answering machine, though, 2nd best thing, and lefta message saying I just got my first cell phone, so excited, I have no life, can't you tell, etc., then got out of the car and went to do my grocery shopping.
I came out, looked for my keys...
Then ran to the other side of the car, sheilding my eyes for shade, and there they are, dangling and glistening in all their glory, from the ignition.
I pause and think, hmm. I don't want to lay on the ground, in front of all these shoppers, embarrassing myself in front of all these people I'll never see again. ( At least it wasn't raining ! )
The windows were cracked, quite a bit, actually, as it was sweltering, so I thought I'd try that route. I twist and
maneuver my arm until it reaches the " u " button for all doors, and push it. I nearly sob with
relief, that I won't be knowing my Ford in such an intimate way this afternoon, with my head
shoved up it's backside, like some exotic enema.
Like I've said, I heard the electric locks disengage,( again, relief, nearly weep ) then go to
disengage my arm.
Well, can you guess a worse feeling than laying on the ground, under your bumper, in a public place?
Yes, it's your arm trapped in the cracked window of a car. That's right.
I had a fleeting vision of waving frantically, yelling for help,
( which of course, 'if I looked like Diana or Yana..' ) and having to explain this predicament...
So instead of that scenario, I twist and pull hurriedly , ripping my lower arm out of the window,
thankfully, loading the groceries into the trunk, and zooming off home.

I can't even describe the bruises I had up my arm. Well, kind of like the black arms I
had this morning , actually !
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      ( 7:25 PM ) sisoflexx
Okay, I didn't get to publish yesterday

Something I heard on the radio about Bill Clinton supposedly getting offered his own talk show.
Something along the lines of.. ' He would have the same set-up, say as Oprah or David Letterman,
but the guests would be interviewed while they were UNDER the desk. '

I thought it was funny, anyway...

I was on the phone late again with guess who ? If you thought Diana, ding! ding! ding!
you get a prize. The prize is : you get free access to my Blog pages. Cool deal, right?
She actually didn't keep me on as long this time... Only 10:45.... So I got 5 hours of sleep instead of 4.
I was telling her to get her own Blog, as her stories are just so incredible, and I think if she wrote all
this crap down, she may actually vent most of her steam out. ( I hate to say, ' closure ', but there you
are. ) And I think she would get a book deal . Why not? Brigitt Jones' Diary got published, and I think it was tepid. Crap, actually. All my British relatives were raving about it, and actually borrowed the
copy from my Mum. I refuse to see the movie, and I actually like Hugh Grant. Oh well, enough said.
But Diana could tell some stories! And maybe she would lay off with phone calls! JK., Diana!
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May 2, 2002
      ( 6:56 PM ) sisoflexx
Crazy Day Yesterday...

You won't believe it. It's too strange.

Okay, I guess for this story I need to set up the background, the plot, etc. Gosh, this is going to be long!

So long, it'll take a few nights to describe it. I think I'll have re-publish this story a week from now.

I told this story to Jay, about our delivery guy where I work. I described the driver, and Jay pointed out that I had never told him about this guy. Do you think it was subconscious ?
You can decide after you read this..
Jay told me repeatedly to stay away from this guy, like I'm in danger, and I kept reassuring him I was fine, I don't see this guy like that. He sounds bad, but not THAT bad, y'know what I mean ?

Our driver told me when I first strated working there that he had been in a car hit by a drunk driver, he had a nurse who took care of him, but she spanked him, and they wrestled(?) Now he rents pornos all the time, he even asked if I could find one for him :' Dianas Diaper Discipline.' Which is funny because my best friend's name is Diana. he he. Anyhoo, suffice to say, he's a strange one. Whatever childhood he had, it's warped him. He'll sit in the lab and talk on his cell phone, and you'll think it sounds like he's pretending to talk on the cell phone. Someone told me he does pretend, because it went off in his hand, ringing, while he was " talking" to someone, one day she was there, listening to him.
His left hand is bent under, elbow drawn up, so he can't use it. And he walks with a lurch, you can't pass him in the hall, he will knock you over. You feel sorry for him one minute, then he says some freaky things, and then you just want to get up and walk away.
Well, the bosses got a call yesterday from a clinic, saying that the driver had tripped and fallen down a flight of stairs, he may have broken his arm . So Lucky went to the clinic, get the cases out of the drivers truck to deliver a few of them, then go to the hospital to see the driver.
Lucky called Semi and told him when he got in the truck, the company truck, the passenger seat was littered with porno dvds. Lucky is pretty much a serious person, and a church goer, so we could imagine what he was going through.He delivered the cases, took the truck back to the same clinic, got in his car, and went to the hospital to see the driver.
Later, as I was leaving, Semi asked me to drop him off at the clinic, so he could pick up the truck, to take it back to work. As we were driving, Semi told me that Lucky had spoke with him on the phone, and the driver had dislocated his shoulder. They were trying to figure out who was going to deliver the cases while the driver was recuperating. Semi said the driver was all dosed up on morphine, sleeping like a baby.
I dropped off Semi at the truck, and went home.
They told me the next day what else had happened. Lucky picked up the driver, and brought him back to the lab. Semi was to follow Lucky as he drove the driver home, made sure he was okay, then Semi would drive Lucky back to the lab, so Lucky could get his car.
Well, it turned into quite a psychodrama, because the driver wanted to go home by himself, ( we think he was embarrassed of his handicapped home help apartment.) Well, Lucky wasn't going to let him drive home all doped up, and told him 'if we're not taking you home, you're getting a cab.' The driver then sat there and made a ' phone call ', asking a friend to come and get him. He told Lucky someone was coming to get him, and he went out and sat on the steps. Well, they waited, and sure enough, no one was coming. They told the driver again, he had to take a cab, etc.. And the driver was so mad about the fact he could't drive himself home, that Lucky ran to call the police, because he didn't want to be responsible for the drivers' safety, or others on the road at this time. Semi talked Lucky out of calling the cops, but threatened to call the drivers mom in Florida, to let her know what was going on. That immediately subdued the driver, a 38 year old man. What gets me is, I left work at 2pm, and all this was still going on past 6pm, it took them that long to fart around with this guy. They finally got a cab, took the cab driver's name and cab number, told the cab driver not to drive him ANYWHERE ELSE but the address they had given him. This was Semis' wedding anniversary, he had told me earlier that day he was hoping to get home early, take his wife out, etc., and all this happened in the evening. So this morning, the driver came in to work. I congratulated him on his recovery, and he said he didn't to sit around at home. I asked him about driving around on painkillers, and Semi remarked, " We checked on that, believe me. " I wondered why Semi's not cracking jokes, etc., but then, I hadn't heard what happened the night before.
I'm telling you, the world is mad. Mad ! I tell you !
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      ( 6:51 PM ) sisoflexx
Missed you guys... um, well, make that plural !
Missed YOU yesterday ! How's that?

I was so tired from staying up late the night before, on the phone with Diana .
I can't do that again. Ack!
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