Soft Scorn

Definition :

Misanthropic / adj. A general hatred or contempt for fellow human beings,
of other people in general. Opposite of philanthropist.

example :
Jimmy Carter : philanthropist
Heather : misanthropist

Example of 'misanthrope' in conversation :
Heather : " This movie just shows how stupid people are. I hate people ."
Jay : " My, aren't we the misanthrope ?"
Heather : " What did you call me, you idiot !? Tell me you stupid son of a bitch !
What kind of stupid f**ked up word is that, dumbass? I hate you ! "

(An excerpt from The Werbinox Chronicles)

OR...

Are we ready? Oh,good! Welcome to the forum that lacks wit, mirth, intelligence and ingenuity Comments are welcome, as I cannot hope to hold attention spans on my own merit Blog away! Dear friends, read, learn, and re-affirm your soul and mind!


Sep 24, 2003
      ( 7:05 PM ) sisoflexx
Oh, yes, I nearly forgot !Rachel and I were thanked on the Official Progday site !
Too funny !
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      ( 7:02 PM ) sisoflexx
I've to get back into the groove. Not that I have alot to say, just that I do have 2 or 3 people who read this, and want me to write. When I last wrote, I was about to tell you about the 2nd and 3rd days at Progday.
Rachel and I got to the front gate, we found we had to get an escort as our names weren't on the list. Go figure. Jay and Geoff were setting up the stage and the first band were already in the middle of their sound check. The 2 guys in charge, Mike and Sean said we were okay to stay. I felt like a stowaway.
Rachel and I had a great day, we saw lots of people we don't get to see but once a year. We made our way down to Peter and Debbies house to say hello to Debbie, who we spend lots of time with out there, and I walked straight into the house. There was Peter, standing at the fridge, startled. I asked him if Debbie was here, and he replied that she was in the shower. I told him we'd meet up with her later, and as we left, I told Rachel, " I didn't even knock, just went in ! " I hope he wasn't pissed. ( Later that day, after we'd been hanging out w/ Debbie, he came up and I apologised. He seemed non-plussed and told me they had an open door policy. I worried for nothing ! )
That Sat. was the hottest day I'd ever spent out on that field. Rachel and I went on a trip to (ugh) Walmart, and I considered getting an awning for the field, until we realized we'd be setting it up in that awful heat, so we discarded that idea quick. We bought water squirt bottles with fans attached, and spent the rest of the day shooting each other in the eyes with them. Fun ! At the end of the day, we found out that our room arrangements were still screwed up, and we'd have to go to Red Roof Inn. We didn't think that was a big deal, as it was a few min's away from the one we'd stayed at the night before. Then we found out it wasn't the one we'd been thinking of, but one that was downtown (ugh) Durham. And, to top it off, we were given a phone number, and had to find our own way there ! So, off we went, following J + G, and got to our really seedy looking hotel in a really seedy looking area.
I'll have to describe the room with words, obviously, but really, words cannot describe this room.
There were all sorts of things under the beds, the floor was so sticky and filthy, that when Rachel knelt beside the bed to look under it, her knees stuck to the floor. She put on some nice white footies, and within a few minutes they were black on the soles. The toilet seat was one of those U shaped numbers, and it was too big for the bowl, it came out three inches past it, actually. Everytime I went in there I had to gingerly lower my great girth on it in fear the plastic would shatter and spear me in the back of my thighs. Not to mention it being so lightweight it could move from side to side, and slide my thighs across the piss on the rim.
Rachel and I were hungry, so we left to get a burger, and driving down dark streets in a ghetto is not fun.
We actually had a big van stop on a side street, then as we drew nearer, I saw the van appearing to pull out, ' go for it ', you might say. I called out to Rachel, who'd also noticed it, and the van did ' go for it ', about 20 feet in front of us. So, there was screaming, brakes squealing, etc. But she managed to stop right in front of him, and as her headlights lit up his face, now 3 feet away, we could see he had a look on it like, 'OOPS !'
As we got our burgers a few minutes later, it started pouring, and we remarked to each other that her car wouldn't have stopped in time if it had rained a few minutes earlier.
Back at the room, we started eating and Geoff got up and went out of the room, leaving the door ajar, which made me nervous considering where we were. After 10 minutes, Jay noticed it too. " Where the hell did he go ? "
Geoff finally came back with some ice in a baggie and laid down and put it on his neck, saying he'd sprained it a few days ago. While we were eating, the phone rang, and as I had a mouthful of burger, I handed the reciever to Jay. " Hello ? Yeah, you do. Okay. Bye."
We asked who it was. He told us that it was a really strange phone call. He said a black man, sounding re-ee-aally sexy said , " Hello, hello, hello. I think I must have the wrong room. "
We all agreed that was a strange call, when Geoff piped up from his bed, saying, " Dude, you might not think it's so strange when I tell you this : When I came back from the ice machine, I had left our door ajar so I wouldn't need to take the key, and I walked into the room a few doors down, because the door was ajar. There was a huge black guy sitting at the table rolling something . I told him sorry, I have the wrong room. I didn't tell you 'cuz I didn't want you to freak out "
We were saying no way, you're just kidding ! And he said he was telling the truth. So Jay tells him, he must have seen what room you went into. I asked Geoff it the guy had a pile of cash and a revolver on the table next to him.

I also put a chair under the door when we went to bed.
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Sep 11, 2003
      ( 7:04 PM ) sisoflexx
Please, just a few more days ! It's too much to sit down and write for a lazy bitch !

Thanks for your patience...
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Sep 5, 2003
      ( 5:40 PM ) sisoflexx
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
" Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later the
computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and
avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began
wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool
sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated
into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints
the following:

(1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

(2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with antifungal shampoo.

(3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

(4) Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.


(5) If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get
better.

Courtesy of Mabs
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      ( 5:38 PM ) sisoflexx
Day One...
Had a great weekend ! My 7th Progday festival, Jay and Geoffs' 8th, Rachels' 3rd. Coming home from this one, I told Rachel, I've never un-enjoyed a ProgDay yet, and there have been 2 or three I thought were absolutely great, and this was one of them. My lack of stomach muscles hurt still from laughing.
We set out later than I'd have liked on Friday night, but, still, there wasn't much Labor Day traffic. Rachel and I drove together, as did Geoff and Jay in another car. ( My car, actually . They came back from NearFest with a broken window and a missing hubcap. ) Speaking of NearFest, Jay told me it was back in Bethlehem next year, which is cool, because I can visit with my Dad who's 30 minutes away !
Anyhoo, before we left I asked Jay to check and see if Rachel and I were on the list for the room, in case we got there first, so we could get in. When Jay called, he found out we had a room for Friday night, but not Sat. and Sun. After talking to Geoff, he called the guy in charge of the rooms to find out what was going on. This guy tells him he knows there's a problem, some other people had their rooms screwed up, and he was trying to squeeze everyone in to let up some other rooms. That aside, we knew where we were staying Fri. night, and we'd worry about the rest later. Rachel and I assuredly took our time ,took one of Rachel's scenic routes that ate an hour into our trip, and, in fact, we ate at Denny's, my favorite, and as I was eating my sausages I noticed they were a bit pink in the middle, and I suffered for it the rest of the weekend. Or, I should say, my ass did. 'Nuff said. One word of note on our trip : we were behind a Hertz rental ruck on the lonely dark road towards Carbarro for miles and didn't think anything about it, until it hit it's brakes and flashed it left turn signal. It turned into a gas station, and Rachel and I both clicked. " Oh wow ! " This happened to us the year earlier, except that Jay, Geoff, Rachel and myself were packed into the one car, it was dark and rainy, and Jay was driving behind a yellow Hertz ruck on the same road where it slammed on it's brakes and put it's turn signal on. Except then, it was raining, and as the car screeched it's brakes and we kept sliding, we were all screaming in fear. Funny how we forgot about that until it happened similarily again, huh ? Just as we were nearing the hotel, Rachel and I stopped at the grocery store. That's when Jay called us. We were 15 minutes away, and they got there ahead of us. Man ! Rachel and her shortcuts !
Since it was already 10:30, we spent the next couple of hours laughing and having a few drinks. I told Rachel ( which I did repeatedly over the weekend ) to show the guys her drivers' license from last year, which showed her quite a few pounds heavier. After she explained how she was questioned trying to write a check, and the cashier told her she and the gal in the photo were not the same, Geoff told her the next time that happened to point to the photo and tell the cashier, " That girl ate me !", to which Rachel said sounded rude. Then we heard Geoff's variations on porno titles : Glad he ate her and BlackOck Down . I guess you had to be there.
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      ( 3:23 PM ) sisoflexx
Give me a few...weeks, that is.
Just kidding, I've had a terrible time w/ my phone line, and we've constantly been kicked off line.
I had a great Labor Day weekend and I want to tell all three of you about it.
I just need to write it out and post it, is all. ( As Jay would say. )
This was one of the best ProgDays' yet !
Smell you later Bart, smell ya later, FOREVER !
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