Ms. Ann Thrope

( 8:48 PM ) sisoflexx

This isn't for my 2 readers, it's for me. I called my Mum earlier tonight and we talked, rather, she talked about Spaz, I sobbed. When I lived with my Mum, Spaz would nip her ankles as she walked through the kitchen. " Would you feed this bloody cat !? " she'd yell at me.
Jay kept talking abut her too, I asked him why later, and he said that he thought I wanted to talk. NO !
I can write, though, and even that's hard to do. I'm fucking up my keyboard here with all this water. I just wanted to post this ' before', as it won't be the same 'after'.
Jay had the idea to take some pictures, so we did. I won't be up for this later, so I'm doing it now.

I just wanted to say I love you, and until another time, goodbye.

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( 7:57 PM ) sisoflexx

My pics are working again ! I must've typed in something wrong, huh ?
Anyway, once again they're working because somebody took the time to look out for me, without being asked, again !

I really appreciate that !

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( 1:51 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: " If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics " :

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

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( 11:57 AM ) sisoflexx

I think I should give up on the picture gallery on the right...

In other news...

I'm very disheartened about Spaz. It breaks my heart that I have to force water down her throat with a syringe. She looks so miserable while I'm doing that, as if to say , " For fucks sake ! Are my last days going to be spent in this agony ?! There's a reason I'm dehydrated, I'm not drinking ! Why the hell do you think that is ? Because I don't want to ! Now let me die in fucking peace !"

Tomorrow is a follow-up exam, followed by peace.

It's the peace my old friend deserves.

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( 9:18 AM ) sisoflexx

HOW DID YOU SLEEP LAST NIGHT?

Bed a little lumpy ?

Toss and turn any ?

Wish the heat was higher ?

Maybe the a/c wasn't on ?

Had to go to the john ?

Need a drink of water. . .?

Remember the next time ...

...the other car cuts you off and you must hit the brakes,
or you have to park a little further from Wal-Mart than you want to be, or you're served slightly warm food at the restaurant, or you're sitting and cursing the traffic in front of you, or the shower runs out of hot water,

Think of them...

Sent from Ameena

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( 3:02 PM ) sisoflexx

From the pages of Forum's Straight White Guy:

"Area horse owners, especially those around Echo Lake, may want to keep a close eye on their equine companions after two recent instances of abuse and theft."

I'd wondered where Jay had left his boots...

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( 2:52 PM ) sisoflexx

No weapons of mass destruction, but plenty of Mass Graves.

I thank Rob , and he thanks Susan Luty for the link.

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( 2:15 PM ) sisoflexx

Here's your angst !

Good 'ol Spaz

I got a phone call from the vets, telling me I could come and pick up Spaz. I feel okay now, knowing today's not the day I have to shove her in a box and throw her in a hole in the ground. It's not today, but it will be within a few weeks, maybe less. They've diagnosed her with feline leukemia, and she has a mass on her pancreas. I had no idea feline leukemia was contagious, so where she got it, I don't know. She can't go outside, ever again, so if the tumor doesn't kill her, being shut inside will be the death of her. If she doesn't start eating again, I'll have to take her in. The vet had said she can get a referral to have the pancreas fucked with, so I guess I'll have to live with the guilt of not wanting ( or even be able to afford ) to dole out thousands on an operation. You tell yourself, well, she's led a happy life, and a long life at that, and by all rights, that cat should have died years ago, with the capers she's gotten her self into. We've seen her take on dogs, and I mean "big" dogs. ( Poor Basha, Spaz is so lucky that doberman is a big baby ) Jay's seen her chase a german shepard off our driveway. And I've been scared she'd get it when I came up the steep driveway of our old house in my car.
She catches everything. When we lived in Va, I found seagull feathers all over the deck. ( Do you know how big seagulls are ? ) She's caught a frog, ( which Morg and I nursed back to health with his one eye, and returned him to the wild, where with his 50% vision was probably picked off the very same day ) a baby copperhead snake,( which thank bog she didn't bring it into the house alive, like the bird at my Mum's house) mice, and the best of all : a hummingbird. I only say that because it takes a pretty fast cat to nab one of those.
She's been hospitalized for an infected cut/bite on her paw about 5 years ago and an infected ear earlier this year, which was another scare of having to put her down in case it ended up being a polyp, which the vet guessed wrongly.

I can't hope for the best now, but I can hope she doesn't get worse, at least for a little while.

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( 2:14 PM ) sisoflexx

The flavor of Xmas

Courtesy of Ameena

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( 2:09 PM ) sisoflexx

Foot in mouth disease

This is an e-mail Ameena sent me :

Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a few people who do....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

5. A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "thumbtacks." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story...We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

As for me, (siso), I've had a couple of humdingers myself. It must be subconscious.

1. Searching through my over night bag in a New York city hotel for a pack of cigarettes , my auntie inquired what I was looking for. " My cancer sticks ", I replied, to which she got a look of distaste on her face. " Oh ! I am SO sorry ! " I said, just realising she had lost her husband to cancer a few years back.
Not one of my better moments.
2. A few years later, my relatives came for a visit from England ( jolly old ), and as we were horseback riding in the Jawja mountains, I had Morgan in front of me, as he was too young to ride by himself. Well, the saddle horn kept jabbing him in the nuts, and my chin kept hitting the top of his head.
At one point, a jarring motion slammed my insides up my throat and down to my hips painfully. I yelled, "Argh ! My uterus !" Then immediately felt awful because my cousin riding nearby had just recently had a hysterectomy, which she wasn't too pleased about. ( I don't know if she heard it, but it didn't make me feel any better.)
3. I had to go to court and speak with a social worker about supervised visitation for my ex. The social worker had half an arm, which I suppose may have been amputated at the elbow. He was shuffling papers around with his stump, and at times I had to resist the urge to get up and help him. He asked me a question about my ex, and I replied, " Well, personally, I don't think he has a leg to stand on .." And to my credit, I remained cool and continued the conversation without pasting a look of dismay on my face.

Here's a couple of my sons' :

1. In the grocery store, I'm pushing my 4 year old around in a cart, and he loudly farts. We're talking breaking the sound barrier, here. And that little fuck had the nerve to yell, " Mommy !" in a shocked tone.
2. My Mum came for a visit here in Jawja, and she was supposed to leave the day before, but Jay and I talked her into calling in sick, which we had to go over it with her, train her, because she never calls in sick, even when she's dying, she goes to work. And when I say never, I mean, ' Never ! ' And she felt so guilty doing it. ( Probably she got over it after the call. ) Well, she brought my son up to my workplace, so she could get a tour, and see how we make teeth in a lab. I took her up to meet the boss,( the owner ) a fellow who makes everyone nervous, in other words a real prick. ( No, I don't work there anymore .) I introduced my Mum, and the boss asked her if she was on vacation. My son pipes in : " No, she called in sick ! And she's not ! " Which it was my turn to say in a shocked voice, " Morgan !" And that ~~bastard~~ angel had the nerve to yell , " Well, you do it too !" ( Which I'm sure the boss ran and looked up my file as soon as we left. Thank bog I'd only had one sick day in the past two years. Still, that was embarrassing for me and my Mum. She was mortified, as she already felt guilty for lying in the first palce, and we put her up to it. I guess the lesson is to keep your mouth shut around that kid.)

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( 6:55 PM ) sisoflexx

I talked to the vet and she said they're waiting for the blood tests to come back, but the x ray showed something abnormal on her ( Spaz's) stomach or liver. They're going to do an ultrasound tommorrow.

Needless to say, I'm preparing for the worst.

O shit, here I go

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( 6:52 PM ) sisoflexx

Thank you !

I'd like to thank Flash for completley re-writing my code for my daily pics.

And I didn't even ask !

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( 2:59 PM ) sisoflexx

Not a good day so far...
This is the third day the cat has showed no interest in eating.
She just lays curled up in a ball, sleeping.
I've just got back from the vets, and they're going to run tests, they say she's dehydrated, and has a temperature.
They'll call me later, and probably keep her overnight.
I'll let you know...

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( 10:24 AM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

NORTH POLE (API) - MICROSOFT announced an agreement with Santa Claus Industries to acquire Christmas at a press conference held via satellite from Santa's summer estate somewhere in the southern hemisphere. In the deal, Microsoft would gain exclusive rights to Christmas, Reindeer, and other unspecified inventions. In addition, Microsoft will gain access to millions of households through the Santa Sleigh. The announcement also included a notice that beginning Jan 1, 2004, Christmas and the Reindeer names would be copyrighted by Microsoft. This move was facilitated by the recently acquired MS Court. Microsoft stated its commitment to "all who have made Christmas great," and vowed to "make licensing of the Christmas and Reindeer names available to all." It is believed that the guidelines for licensing these names, due before Halloween, will be very strict. When asked "Why buy Christmas?" Bill Gates replied "Microsoft has been working on a more efficient delivery mechanism for all of our products for some time, but recognized that the Santa Sleigh has some immediate benefits. We'll use it first for the release of WindowsMe and FrontPage." In a multimedia extravaganza, the attendees were shown a seemingly endless video stream of products that make up the deal. It ended with a green and red version of the Microsoft logo, and a new Christmas ME'03 trademark, leading into the announcement of the first product from the deal. Vixen, the new Director of Holidays and Celebrations said, "The first step is to assimilate Christmas within the Microsoft organization. This will take some time, so don't expect any changes this year." She continued, "our big plans are for next year, when we release Christmas ME'03. It will be bigger and better than last year." She further elaborated that "WindowsMe users who sign up with MS Network will get previews of Christmas ME'03 as early as November first."

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( 2:44 PM ) sisoflexx

Eww! He was right ! :
"Jesus, don't CLICK THIS if you have a weak stomach..."

By CLICK THIS he meant
CLICK THIS.

It's funny, and I mean 'weird' strange, not ' funny, (ha ha) ' strange, but I'm not a politically minded freak. ( Go on, you say ! ) But this Mickey Moore fellow is just creepy. Can someone who claims to be so full of love thy brother and peace to all idiots be so effin' hateful and biased ?

Oh, sorry, I just plagarised that from the Webster's Dictionary description of
" Democrats " .

My bad.

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( 1:32 PM ) sisoflexx

Rob has been posting about his new dog, Oddball.

For years, Jay and I have discussed getting a dog, after our cat is gone.
Lately, he's admitted he'd rather have another cat, as they are less hassle.
ie: The lazy mans' pet.
True, they go out, come back, crap in a box, don't kill the neighbors kids,etc...

I've had four cats and one dog in my life.

The first was the dog.
Tuffy

This is my brother , Tuffy, and yours truly, circa 1976.

My Dad worked nights back then, and I awoke pretty much most of the time when he came home.
I had the nightly ritual of going to the bathroom, getting a hug, and going back to bed.
One night, after I'd finished in the bathroom, he was waiting for me with his hand in his coat, telling me he had a surprise for me. ( Get your mind out the gutter for a minute )
He pulled out a wriggling puppy.
I was told to get back to bed, now that I was excited as I would be on xmas eve, but I remember the next day we looked around for a bed for the puppy, and we found a shoebox, with the words " Tuff " on it. I suggested the name " Tuffy " for the puppy, and that was that.
Memories are vague, as I was only 6 at the time, but I remember a few things about Tuffy.
I remember my Mum would walk us down to the end of our road, where we would have a nightly walk through the vineyard there. There was a gate, but we'd all climb over the short wall there and on we'd go. My Mum always had to bend over and pick Tuffy up, and hand hm to one of us already over the wall. One day, she bent over to pick him up, and he leapt over the wall by himself. We all were laughing about that one.
The other memories are not so fond.
We were leaving for England, soon, my Mum told us, and dogs had to be quarantined for 6 months, and that wasn't fair to the dog. She explained that we couldn't keep Tuffy. My brother and I set off nightly through the neighborhood, asking people if they wanted a dog. The usual answers were : My wife's allergic to dogs, we have a cat, or just plain no.
My Mum tried to explain, though I don't remember how or what, that Tuffy was going to be put down.
Of course, you think, I'd do it differently, I'd tell the kids I've found a home for it, lucky for Tuffy !
But, that wasn't the way it happened. I remember being told a man was coming for Tuffy, and when he came, my brother and I were bawling. The man led Tuffy away with a piece of rope he tied around his neck, and we bawled louder. Mum ended bawling too, all of us huddling and hugging each other.

Looking back, I'd say it would have been alot gentler on us to take Tuffy away, come back home , and lie to us.

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( 11:39 AM ) sisoflexx

From the MJ Morning Show

Here's an age progression of Michael Jackson. Had he been kidnapped as a child, this would have been an important tool in searching his whereabouts, and finding his abductors.

Here is a progression of Wackos nose, shown in a sequence of about eight pics, like a slide show.

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( 11:36 AM ) sisoflexx

Tips from BLOGGER -

How Not to Get Fired Because of Your Blog.

I would say it's a good thing I can't blog from work, but I rarely even blog from home, so I guess I'm somewhat safe !

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( 9:41 AM ) sisoflexx

Here's another cat picture for Rob .
Cat pic for Rob

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( 9:27 AM ) sisoflexx

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( 9:11 AM ) sisoflexx

Hey ! What do you know ?
I found the archive where Acidman introduced me to Dax .
I also pondered at that time why there wasn't a Jawja Blogger list.

History in the making !!!

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( 9:05 AM ) sisoflexx

You know that I don't blog every day, that's not a shock to you all, is it ?
But if there's one thing that pisses me off, it's when I finally do get my fat ass in front of the keyboard , spend an hour writing an inch long blog, publish it, and it doesn't show up 'til the next day. Maybe there's cobwebs in there, slowing it down, all I know is that anyone of you 2 people visiting my site will see nothing new, think to yourselves, " Oh well, maybe tommorrow ", then by the time the new stuff comes up, it's pushed down to the bottem of the page by newer stuff ( some of it crappier than others, I might add ).

Never ceases to amaze me.

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( 7:49 AM ) sisoflexx

From the Laurel and Hardy: Leave 'Em Laughing! site.

I shamelessly robbed an idea from Da Goddess on her Buster Keaton story.
Here's the comment I left :

I rented Laurel and Hardy's 'Bonnie Scotland ' a few weeks ago. I happened to see it at the video store and remembered watching them with my Dad. At first I thought, now, will it really take me back, bring up fuzzy , lovely memories ? Or will it just remind me that there is a chasm of cultural differences between both generations ?
I asked my son to watch it with me , but he had no interest. I had fun watching it, and was pleased to find myself laughing out loud. Morgan finally ventured out and watched the rest with me, and he was laughing too.

And it wasn't just mushy sentiment, I really did enjoy it. In fact, those funny guys will be added to my video library.
Another entertainer my Dad introduced me to back in the day was this dashing fellow:

From the The George Formby Society

Dad would sing ,"When I'm Cleaning Windows" to me, and later I found ( or I should say, 'Mum' found a copy of that song on a cd for me.
It just brings back old memories, and makes me feel good.
When Jay and I went to Paul McCartney's concert last year he told a story of George Harrison's collection of ukeleles, some of which actually belonged to Formby. Paul played a song with a ukelele in honor of Harrison that night.

I found this while searching Formby :
McCartney - live review:

"A tribute to George, Something played on ukelele (George was an enthusiast of the uke and George Formsby, Paul informs us, in a great story about Harrison, without pathos or melodrama). "

I don't expect anyone to run out and buy these classics, but it just pleases me to remember them, and the great memories they helped create.

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( 10:26 AM ) sisoflexx

It's a mad, "Mad World"

This picture was sneakily thieved from Braylen

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( 10:09 AM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

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( 9:18 AM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

25 facts of life

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.

3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

6. A penny saved is worthless.

7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter
enemies.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age thirteen.

11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

13. There apparently exists, somewhere in Los Angeles, a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer; after sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out, "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT," and the executives turn this concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out,
"SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." Then the next time, it spits out, "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT." And so on. We need to locate this computer and destroy it with hammers.

14. Nobody is normal.

15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: * The universe is even bigger than they thought! * There are even more subatomic particles than they thought! * Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong.

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
* If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals primarily to old farts like your father.
* If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize
that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.
* If the advertisement strongly suggests that Nike shoes enable athletes
to perform amazing feats, Nike wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability.
* If Budweiser runs an elaborate advertising campaign stressing the critical importance of a beer's "born-on" date, Budweiser knows this factor has virtually nothing to do with how good a beer tastes.

19. If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

20. You should not confuse your career with your life.

21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

24. Your friends love you anyway.

25. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

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( 9:15 AM ) sisoflexx

I'm terrible, I know.
Flash asked about the light bloggage, and I told him it's because I have a new computer game.
Whenever that happens, all other tasks cease to exist. Last week Morg and I were out shopping and came home with a bunch of fluff and Jay reminded me that xmas wasn't too far away.
I sadly glanced at the bags around my feet, and realised all the shopping was for us, not friends and family.
But I got over it quickly, and let him know I wasn't waiting until xmas to play The Sims ' Makin' Magic ', no way !
And now, even though the newness is abating, ( somewhat ) I have to clean house this weekend as we have guests coming to see the house.
At least Judi and Charles warned me a few weeks in advance. They have friends flying in for Thanksgiving.
I'll be back !

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( 9:07 PM ) sisoflexx

We've just got back home from the movies.
We watched the new " Matrix ". Instead of being enlightened, ie: finally finding out what it was all about, we've come away more confused than ever.
It seemed to me like they were in a rush to finish a script that they just threw in anything. As Mr. T would say ,"Jibba Jabba ".
They threw in new actors playing well known parts, and a death scene went on for so long that I started fidgeting in my seat. My son said next to me :
" Die already !"
So here we are, laughing, in the middle of this poignant moment.
It's a good thing we were the only ones in the theater or we may have pissed others off!
The fight scenes were great, but during one of them, I closed my eyes and asked Morgan to tell me when it was over. Scared ? No. It was flashing so much I was afraid I was going to have an epileptic seizure.
After I picked a spasming Morgan off the ground, we resumed where we left off.
We only go to the theaters once or twice a year, so I guess I was more disappointed that I paid so much to go see it. A matinee, no less.
At least I won't have to rent it. It was a shame, but it wasn't a total crapfest:
we enjoyed leaving.

This archive...

( 7:24 PM ) sisoflexx

Cooking With Siso When you're adding a stick of butter to bowl containing two cups of flour, cut the butter into smaller chunks, and add them , one by one. Don't unwrap the stick of butter six inches above the bowl and gently push the butter off the wrapper.

This archive...

( 7:09 PM ) sisoflexx

I was making chicken and dumplings in the kitchen ( where else ? ) tonight, and I heard Jay having a shower, getting out, getting ready for work, etc.

He passed by me to put a new trashbag in the can, and I caught this acrid odor.
" I smell bug spray, or something ." I said.
" I haven't sprayed anything. Maybe it's my deodorant ." he replied.

I made a mental note to get new stuff for him and get rid of whatever Raid he had under his arms. It is really bad.
( And no, I'm not going to end out this story with Jay pulling a totally buffoon move and spraying actual bug spray on his pits !
( You know who you are .)

After a few more minutes, I still could smell a strong pungent odor, alot like bug spray. I stepped out of the kitchen and yelled into the living room :
" Did you spray around the outside of the house today ?"
" No !" he was now sounding annoyed . Better drop it, I thought.

But I couldn't drop it, dammit ! I 'm standing in this kitchen, trying to prepare vittles, all the while gagging on this scent of fallout. I realised the time I started smelling it, other than when Jay walked into the kitchen, was when he put the bag in the trashcan.
I put my face near the liner, and the smell was strong there.
Thinking maybe a can of raid burst or sprayed on the bags in the pantry, I checked there.

I didn't need to smell them ; I can read : ' Odor Shield ' by Glad.

No more to say. They're gone.

This archive...

( 6:56 PM ) sisoflexx

Happy Veterans Day

It is the VETERAN, not the preacher,
who has given us freedom of religion.

It is the VETERAN, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the VETERAN, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.

It is the VETERAN, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the VETERAN, not the politician,
Who has given us the right to vote.

It is the VETERAN,
who salutes the Flag,

who serves under the Flag

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was an email sent from Ameena, she always sends ones that are designed to tug at heartstrings. And mostly, I delete them. ( I really can't take the fluffy stuff ! )
The end of the email had this insightful message :

I don't know if you saw this in the news but it really impressed me. Funny, our US Senate/House took 2 days off as they couldn't work.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported tonight that, because of the dangers from Hurricane Isabelle approaching Washington DC, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment.

They refused. "No way, Sir!"

Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson.

The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.

This archive...

( 4:03 PM ) sisoflexx

I think I got it ...

Nice.

This archive...

( 3:58 PM ) sisoflexx

Don't even ask me what's going on on the right side over there !
I'll see how long this takes...

This archive...

( 2:05 PM ) sisoflexx

This is a hoot !

Stolen from : Straight White Guy

Morgan and Granny

This archive...

( 12:06 PM ) sisoflexx

Here's another account of the Blog Meet. Has it already been a week ?Key Monroe called me clever !
I haven't been called that before !

This archive...

( 11:34 AM ) sisoflexx

This archive...

( 9:25 PM ) sisoflexx

What makes you feel compelled to hate yourself so much ? Do you just not like yourself in general ?
Is it the vulnerability you feel, knowing that others watch you, and maybe, even judge you ?
Do you seek approval and acceptance in others, no matter how unworthy their opinion may be ?
Do you angrily and bitterly lash out and criticise others for their shortcomings, only to make yourself feel better, though you may never admit it ? And is that because you secretly see yourself as a failure, of sorts ?
Can life really be that miserable ? Do you see nothing but grey and dreary days ahead ? That you've made nothing of your life ; nothing !?
Do the waves of melancholy and despair wash across you endlessly, or just from time to time ? Do you refuse to look back in memory on not-so-fond experiences, as they might make you feel nauseous and cold ?
Why do you refuse to aknowledge these memories or your past history for what they are ?
They are circumstances , personalities, and experiences you've just happen to cross paths with, or even, bump into and pass a short amount/alot of time with.
These things are what made you into who you are. And if you are bitter, it is because you let your past experiences rule you. They make you feel guilt, anger, and stupidity. That is because you've refused to learn from the lessons you've been exposed to, whether through no fault of your own, ie: the victim , or through your own carelessness. And the latter of these when ignored or denied will be your own downfall and put an end to a new beginning, or even, a happier life. No matter how traumatic the experience, if you can't put it behind you, and mark it up to experience, you will forever be ruled by self pity and hatred.
This is wasted emotion. It certainly doesn't make you feel any better. If anything, it gives the object of your
disdain power, it becomes larger and flows through your heart, and swells to an even greater volume. The end result, is that you feel even worse, whilst the person or memory gains strength, and they/it are totally unaware of how grandiose they've become. Unless, of course, you've verbally made it aware to them. That's even better ; now they have that hold over you. And even if they don't give it a second thought, you certainly will ! Nothing sticks in your craw worse than you've opened yourself to humiliation even further .
Is it worth it ? Unless you adore being miserable and bitter? Or is it you can't picture yourself as anything other than miserable and bitter. Really, is it worth it ?

Can you overcome these feelings ? Yes, and it only takes one thing : training .

It's the same as learning a new language, kicking a bad habit, or taking up a new hobby or sport. And it needs the same ( or , really, even less ) dedication as if you wanted to excel at either of the above. The only way it would fail is if you were give up on it . And give up on a happier life, letting emotional baggage weigh you down.
Train yourself to remember these facts :
Whether something happened because of someone else, or through your own bungling, it's in the past ! You can't go back in time and change it, so you may as well look at the situation objectively, or at least with an open mind.
People are people. They may do things you look down on, but then again, they may do things that you wish you could aspire to. We all have different ethics and principles, and there's no changing that, ever !
Have you ever thought to yourself : " If I hadn't met that person, I never would have met so-and-so, learned how to do such-and-such, went here-and-there, or, simpler, tried such-and-such a dish, that became your all time favorite ? Some friendships end on a good note, people drift apart, lose touch, etc. That should bring up more of a feeling of self-commiseration, because of the guilt that a friendship was lost due to time apart or distance. That is something that could/should make you sad.
But, bring up that memory of that ass or witch, or anything worthwhile that came out of that relationship, it's permanantly spoiled. Maybe through your shame and embarassment, you've let friends or places you've met or found through ass or witch be put in the ' don't touch ' zone. Remember, it's not hurting them, you're only punishing yourself.
Speaking of which, if someone was easily and readily able to commit atrocities/wrongs against you, what ever makes you think they feel bad about anything they've ever done, never mind what they have done to you ? They did it, they were capable of it. Just because you don't see yourself in that light, doesn't mean others are capable of it. They are. Remember, people are people. It's that plain, really.
Try to add up the good things that have come out of your relationships/acquaintances .
The bad experiences ? Have you tried discounting them ? Chalking them up to a loss? Would you sit in a bad movie because you've invested time and money into it ? You've probably lost the money, do you waste any more of your precious time on it ? Time spent brooding is time gone, forever. You can't change time wasted sitting in gridlock traffic or time esconced in your home due to winter weather, but you can demand more of yourself on what is running through a loop in your mind. If you can't delete it, you can put it on the 'to do ' list. Or, at least, at the bottem of the list . You know you'll never get around to it then !

Do you have a sense of humor ? Even a small one ?
Some things are taboo to make humorous, but only a few very rare subjects. And some subjects might be alot more off limits to you than others, but try to get out of that mindframe.
Really, think about what's plaguing you. Think maybe about a famous comedian downplaying your situation, or a network making a sitcom based on your life. Can you imagine it ? No ? That's too bad.

What really counts is that you want to see yourself as a better person, above being petty and pitiful.
All the things that have happened to you thus far has made you who you are. It's not just your parents, it's the dog that bit you in 7th grade. It's the scary dream you had at age 5. It's the time you got pulled over by the cops with a blood alcohol limit near death. It's the flower girl who puked on your shoes during the happiest day in your life. It's the night you came back from the club and found your car gone. It's the time you yelled no and it didn't matter. It's the time a supposed friend ripped you off of more than $200 in jewelry. It's the time the spouse ran off with someone else. It's the time you did regrettable things while you were drunk. It's the time you let your parents down, badly.

You really should take these life experiences and mold them into knowledge you could better yourself from. That's they are,after all, is situations, people, things, etc. Nothing more. Nothing good or bad, pure or evil.

You'll be a happier and better person for it.
We're all different, bog knows, but you can get over this, or, at least, stop putting it in your everyday path. Have your bender every month or so, but while you're doing that, downplay it each time, until it earns nothing more than your disdain. Laugh that it ever happened, find it a hell of a funny thing that happened, and it will lose it's hold over you.

Either just let it go, and keep it a part of you past, and see it as that: a part of your past ...

...Or...

... "It happened, so get the fuck over it, already. "

This archive...

( 8:55 PM ) sisoflexx

Another Funny

This one is effin' awesome !

Jamaican Sandals

A married couple was on holiday in Jamaica They were touring around the
marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal
shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say,
"You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop." So the married couple
walked in.

The Jamaican said to them, "I ave some special sandals I tink you
would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex."

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God he was.

The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Jamaican replied, "Just try dem on, Mon".

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.

The Jamaican then began screaming: "YOU GOT DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!"

Courtesy of Mabs

This archive...

( 5:47 PM ) sisoflexx

"A HALTER THEORY"
Angrams for my name :

A LATHERY THROE
A HARLEY HOTTER
A HARE HE LOT TRY
A HATER TER HOLY
A HEART HOLE TRY
A HATE HER LO TRY
A HEAT THE LORRY
A HEAT ERR HOTLY
A ALE HER HOT TRY
A ALE HER THY ROT
A EARL THE HO TRY
A TALE HER HO TRY
A REAR HOTEL THY
A TEAR HER HOTLY
A EAT HERR HOTLY
A HA HER LOTTERY
AH TART HOE LYRE
AH RATTY LEER HO
AH AT HER LET ROY
HAH ORAL TEE TRY
HAH LAY TREE ROT
HAH ROTARY TELE
AH RAT ROLE YET

link from Babalu Blog , thru suburban blight .

And this a few from at least 100. I'm glad I didn't put in my 7 letter middle name !

This archive...

( 4:55 PM ) sisoflexx

This is strange , but true :

Years ago I fell in love with a classical piece ~~of ass~~ of music, and I never knew the name. ( Or his, he he.)
I forgot about it, until two years ago they started playing it on the radio as a Xmas song, but now it was accompanied by some chorus of children, which, to me, didn't swing.
Anyway, all through xmas season, these past few years, I've strained to hear the name of the song, even if it didn't mention the composer, I could go into Borders, etc., and find out.
I never did hear the name of the song, and I guess I could have called up the radio station and asked what the last song they played was, or, worse, even, stand in the middle of Borders humming the tune for a clerk while he shook his head in confusion.

So, I realised xmas was upon me again, and did I think of the cool gifts I would hand out, or even, GET ?

Nope, I started thinking of that song, and hoping, this year, this year , I would find out what the name of that song was, and own it, and play it, over and over, until my ears were bleeding, or until Jay strangled me.

As I sat in the living room 2 weeks ago, in the near dark but candlelit room, bottle of Sam Adams in hand, I put a variety of CDs in the changer and relaxed in my recliner.
My CD entitled " Classical favorites " popped in and began to play, I mellowed out and whistled in tune and time to these wonderful songs.
Song # 19 out of 20 started, and I gave a start. " No ! It can't be ! "
It was.
I jumped up from my supine position and ran to grab the cd case. I scanned it fervently, eyes resting on #19 : Pachelbel, ' Canon in D-Major' !!!

Yes !

Um, what's really embarrassing is the fact I had it all along, and no, I didn't remember it from a cd I ALREADY OWNED ! Thank you.
I remember it from my wav file, on my old computer, and it came with Windows '95. So there !

Anyway, now I loop it and play it 'til my ears are bleeding, and I see Jay stealthily approaching me, out of the corner of my eye.

His hands seem to be reaching out to clutch something...

This archive...

( 4:35 PM ) sisoflexx

Well, I actually got out there in the real world today. And that's only because I had to pick up my son's friend, 40 minutes away. We stopped for gas, and Morgan I marvelled at a group of bikers passing by, on their way up to the mountains. There must have been at least 50 bikes . "That's a shitload of bikers, " I told him.
( No, I didn't, I'm just using that for shock effect . )

Even though it's overcast, it's a beautiful day out there. Mild temp., drab colors of the leaves, isn't it good to be alive ?

My son and his friend started with yak as soon as they got back in the car, and the humorous observation I had on the return trip was this :
friend: "Man, I'd do her !"
son: "My friend at school says she hasn't developed yet ."
friend: "Your friend's a fag."
son: " And this other friend thinks he has genital herpes, but I asked my mom, and she says it's sexually transmitted."

Really. I'm amazed at the supposed maturity that's taking place in front of me, when the subject changes :

friend: " What happened on Yu-gi-oh today ?"
son: " I don't know, I played WindWaker."
friend: " It would be cool to live as long as Vegeta Warrior."
son: " Or a thousand years, like Piccolo, that would be sweet."

How the hell do you go from genital herpes to a goofy anime ?
And why do they feel so comfortable talking like that in front of me ? Am I that laid back ?!

This archive...

( 4:35 PM ) sisoflexx

I picked up my son from an after school class on Thursday.
I politely chatted with him for a few minutes, then the conversation dwindled.
My son started singing a goofy tune, making up the song as he went along, and yes, Mamas are supposed to be charmed and proud of their little children, how artistic they are, but quite frankly, this was beginning to get on my nerves.

" Could you keep it a little quieter ?" I asked.
" What ? "
" I said, quiet down !"
" Where ? "
"Be quiet, please !"
" Huh ? "
He'd realised by now, as Jay and I have gotten onto him about having to repeat ourselves. And, in Morg's favor, the windows were down, so I ended up shouting, " Shut the fuck up !"
Then we both started laughing, which got old, because Morgan kept replaying the incident over and over...
" You said, ' be quiet,' and I said ' what ?', then you said..." Ha ha ha !

I need a motrin !

This archive...

( 9:23 AM ) sisoflexx

All week it's been warm as hell, and now it's 60F out there.
At least it's clear out there.

My day will consist of picking up Morgan's friend who's staying the night,
and cleaning house. And boy, do I have to !

Other than that, a free weekend !

Hope you all enjoy yours !

This archive...

( 9:20 AM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

Fun Ways To Turn Down A Man...

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like
yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest
dreams.

This archive...

( 8:28 PM ) sisoflexx

Forgive the messing with the pics, I'm trying out " something ".
That means I don't know what I'm doing, so bear with me !

I'm just happy to have the daily pics back. I don't know what was up with that !

This archive...

( 7:28 PM ) sisoflexx

Which Founding Father Are You?

Thanks to Eric the Red for the link.
I just want to know, how the hell did I end up the same founding father as he did ?
It wasn't the honesty thing, was it ?

This archive...

( 6:52 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

A farmer wants to get his two female pigs pregnant but he can't afford the stud service so he goes to the Vet.

Farmer- " Hey doc I've got these two pigs I want to breed but I can't afford to stud 'em, is there anything cheaper?"

Vet- " Well there's artificial insemination - Blah Blah Blah " He goes on to describe some pretty expensive procedures all of which are out of the farmer's price range.

Farmer- " No none of that stuff will do, Its too expensive, anything else?"

Vet- " Well, not many people know this but human DNA is close enough to pig DNA to produce offspring. Here's what you do - take your pigs out at night, load them in your pick-up, take them out to the fields and have sex with them. No one will know what you're up to and you'll get them pregnant."

Farmer- " How will I know they're pregnant?"

Vet- " If they're pregnant, they'll be lying in the shade the next day."

So the farmer follows the advice and that night he struggles to put the pigs in the truck, drives out, porks them, and drives back later that night. The next day the pigs are just standing around.

So the next night he does it all over again only he porks each one twice and drives back even more tired.

Next day - nothing , they're just walking around. So he goes out again, porks them three times each and comes back in more worn out than ever.

This goes on for the rest of the week and by Saturday the farmer is too tired to get out of bed so he asks his wife to get up and look outside at the pigs.

Farmer- " What are the pigs doing dear?"

Wife- " I don't know, one of them is jumping up and down in the back of the truck and the other is blowing the horn."

This archive...

( 6:00 PM ) sisoflexx

Thanks to Dax , I found out what happened when I went to the little ladies room....

This archive...

( 5:02 PM ) sisoflexx

I went to the bank at lunchtime, and on the way back, I pulled into the center (median) turn lane to turn left onto the road my workplace is on. I had just seen ahead that there was an open spot for me to go for it when I heard the sirens.
Looking around, I saw just over the crest of the hill ahead of me,that an ambulance was heading towards me. Of course, I knew I'd have wait until he passed me by. A second after that, I realised he/she was halfway in the center turn lane, heading straight for me. And extremely fast, as well.The ambulance had an empty lane to the right , I don't know why it was careening down the center lane.
I had that flash of : " I can't go anywhere, he needs to make some adjustments in his/her course, and by gad let's hope they do it now. " And, " I'm fucked !"
6-10 feet in front of me it gets over to the right, and I get to work and clean out my granny panties.

Here's what I supposed I looked like :

And as an afterthought, this picture is horrible !
I can see a few things wrong, and really, it isn't the photo, it's me. And no, I'm not getting ' down on myself ' , let's admit it, I look ~~horrendous~~ kinda crappy.
1. I know everyone has this, I've just never seen it on myself : what the hell is up with one eye bigger than another ? That just proves there's no gad.
2. I've got more chins than a chinese phonebook.
3. No, I'm not bald, my thin hair is up in a ponytail. But you can bet your ass it won't be in a ponytail ever again. That just makes me look super ghoulie billboard head and very corpsytrocious .

Either way, it makes for a amusing picture, I think .

This archive...

( 4:38 PM ) sisoflexx

Fellatio may reduce the risk of breast cancer .

I mentioned this back in October, and Jackie from work told me she actually was sent the email yesterday.

And it's on the
CNN site ! Jay wasn't lying ! It must be true !

This archive...

( 6:18 AM ) sisoflexx

I heard from Donnie that the lovely lady from the Jawja Blogger Meet ,Key Monroe , has her site finally up and running !
Go check it out and congratulate her !

This archive...

( 7:23 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

What Religion Is Your Bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of Macy's and shyly walked up to
the woman behind the counter and said, " I'd like to buy a bra for my
wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There is
more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every
shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of
this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from."

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied "There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the
Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?"

Now befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The saleslady responded, " It is all really quite simple.
The Catholic type supports the Masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen.
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright and
the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills."

This archive...

( 7:01 PM ) sisoflexx

I've lost my opening pics, for some reason . Stop doing this to me !

Wah, wah.

This archive...

( 5:08 PM ) sisoflexx

This a re-post

Pictures !

BlogFest pictures are here ! Yes, they're of poor quality, and blurred, to boot , but go on, you know you wanna !

This archive...

( 5:01 PM ) sisoflexx

Happy Guy Fawkes' Night !

Just to piss off Mumsie, who is crusading to have it banned from the British Isles !

Ministers are concerned that Bonfire Night - once a single event held on Nov 5 to commemorate the Gunpowder Plot of 1605 - is now a cacophony of whizzbangs and explosions spread over a period of a month or more. MPs receive hundreds of complaints - not only about yobs( hee !) throwing bangers but also about semi-organised displays lasting into the small hours.

The Government has previously been concerned about appearing too heavy-handed in dealing with the problem. Ministers are anxious to strike a balance between a killjoy approach towards law-abiding revellers and the legitimate complaints of those whose sleep is interrupted or whose pets are terrified. Although existing laws can be used to tackle abuse, they appear to be ineffective and are rarely enforced.

Britons spend �70 million a year on fireworks but there is also a cost in injuries. Last year there were 1,300 people hurt, mainly children, but no fatalities.

And the history behind this freak fest :

Explosives experts say Guy Fawkes would have destroyed Parliament -

Guy Fawkes would have blown the Houses of Parliament sky high if his Gunpowder Plot had succeeded, according to a new study by explosives experts.
The Plot, the Catholic conspiracy to wipe out the nation's political elite on Nov 5, 1605, centred around five people, Robert Catesby, Thomas Winter, Thomas Percy, John Wright and Guy (or Guido) Fawkes, later joined by Robert Keyes.
Their plan was discovered the night before. Had it succeeded, a new "worst-case" study estimates that Fawkes could have caused total destruction up to a radius of 135ft - this would have destroyed the old palace of Westminster and Westminster Hall, the Abbey and surrounding streets.
The Institute of Physics asked physicists from the Centre for Explosion Studies at the University of Wales, Aberystwyth, to use explosion physics to work out the effects of detonating about 36 barrels [5,511lb] of gunpowder, the amount Fawkes had packed in a cellar under the old Westminster hall.
Catherine Gardner and Dr Geraint Thomas, the head of the centre, assumed the gunpowder would have approximately the same effects as TNT and that the explosion was outside, rather than in the basement.
Fawkes, a siege expert who worked for the Spanish in Flanders, had handled explosives before and knew what he was doing. "If he had the gunpowder confined in barrels, and well packed-in, and if it was as powerful as the equivalent TNT explosion, this would be a fairly good model," said Dr Thomas.

"However, in practice we now know that gunpowder is less efficient than TNT, so this is a worst-case estimate and the damage was probably less extensive.
Dr Pauline Croft of Royal Holloway, University of London, author of King James, said that the new study confirmed why the plot was taken so seriously at the time.

"Members of the Lords and Commons thought they had missed death by the merest whisker," she said.

This archive...

( 4:31 PM ) sisoflexx

A German man who survived five days in the Alps in freezing temperatures by eating snow has been fired because he missed work.
Aeronautical engineer Thomas Milnik received written notification of his dismissal from Schroeder & Uehlken while doctors at the hospital were deciding whether to amputate six of his frost-bitten toes."

Employer Schroeder & Uehlken, who dispatched the dismissal letter to the hospital as soon as they found out what happened, rejected criticism they were being unfair.

Company head Florian Schroeder said: "We only hired Mr Milkin at the beginning of October and he is still in his trial period. This is the second time something like this has happened within that time.

"We hired him as a consultant for a special one-year project and he is already behind deadline. And all because of his foolhardy exploits. We just can't take the risk of having him on this project anymore."

This reminds me of the fast food worker who was fired for running down a thief whilst ' on the job '. He should have been given a medal !
Usually it's the 'my grandma died', or 'my car wouldn't start '. Gad forbid your toes are gone, and a doctors note won't suffice ?

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( 4:27 PM ) sisoflexx

More Kitchen inspections :

El Jacalito, 1714 Atlanta Highway, Gainesville
Score: 79

Failed inspection.
Food handler removed soiled diaper from shelf where containers of bulk food are stored and went back to making tortillas without properly washing hands.

Nice !!!

Wash hands between tasks and always before starting food preparation. Prep person with fingernail polish working with bare hands. Wear gloves or no polish while working with food. Prep person without proper hair restraint. A hat or hairnet is required.
No soap or paper towels at hand sink.

That's why he couldn't wash his hands, silly !

To promote frequent and proper hand washing, hand sinks must be properly stocked at all times.

Reunion Golf Club, Grand Reunion Drive, Hoschton Score: 88

Slicer with dried food residue on blade, guard and shelf. Break completely down after use to wash, rinse and sanitize.
Many utensils stored dirty in drawers. Inspect all utensils for cleanliness before storage.
Ice cream scoops stored in a nonrunning dipper well with dirty water. Whenever ice cream is being scooped, the dipper well must be running enough to overflow drain. Drain water at end of day.
Four gallons of milk outdated by seven to 11 days. Products must be used or discarded by dates on containers."

You think ?

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( 4:17 PM ) sisoflexx

I found this link on another site, which I won't name, because it had this on the site.
It's NRAblacklist.com , and it had a whole bunch of celebrities against the NRA.
I realised , scanning the faces, that because of most of them I refuse to watch certain movies or listen to certain songs. And then realise the ones I do like will probably end up on my blacklist ! While I agree we don't need automatic weapons on the streets , think about what happens the day feds burst through your door, and you only have a pistol to defend you and your family.
I would say, " It could happen !" But it already has.
Here's their rundown :

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( 5:56 PM ) sisoflexx

Pictures !

BlogFest pictures are here ! Yes, they're of poor quality, and blurred, to boot , but go on, you know you wanna !

On a lighter note...

A Russian has established an agency selling that rarest of commodities: a good cover story for adulterous partners.

Aimed primarily at cheating spouses who need an excuse to get away from home for a day or two, or explain away a lost night after an unplanned indiscretion, Dmitry Petrov sells copper-bottomed alibis for as little as �120. Mr Petrov has no office and does all his business on a mobile phone.

But he employs dozens of freelances - doctors, journalists and actors - who can rustle up a charade in minutes for the right price.

One of Mr Petrov's favourite ruses is to present the errant husband with a certificate that he has spent the night in detox after drinking one vodka too many.

Another, for the more forward-planning man, is to have an associate collect the client in a car stuffed with fishing rods, on the pretext that they are off for a weekend's angling.

Contrary to popular perception, Mr Petrov says, most of his clients are women. In one case a woman wanted to spend a week with a lover on a beach in Turkey. Mr Petrov produced a fake summons from a faraway court demanding that she give evidence about a car crash she had supposedly witnessed.

The unsuspecting husband took his wife to the train station only for her to get off at the next stop and hop on a plane with her beau.

Mr Petrov has also helped a host of others to get out of a tight spot since launching Alibi in 1999.

I wondered why Jay suddenly took an interest in fishing...

And...

This caught my eye - I thought , what a nice story !
Then all I see is a big Bush bashing editorial.
Hunters program a big help : "Over the weekend, Hunters for the Hungry pitched in to help the needy in Northeast Georgia. "

Nice.

And more medical breakthrough's !

Treatment with leeches may reduce pain and stiffness in patients with arthritis of the knee, German scientists report.
Modern-day medicinal use of leeches is limited to the treatment of blood clotting problems after surgery. Dr. Gustav J. Dobos, from Kliniken Essen-Mitte, and colleagues maintain that leech saliva contains anti-inflammatory substances and other chemicals, which could relieve symptoms of arthritis.

"The treatment was safe and well tolerated, the authors report, although they note that leech therapy does carry certain infectious risks. "

Hah! What's that ? " Stiffening's gone from my joints, but my nuts seem to have fallen off, doctor. "

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( 8:53 PM ) sisoflexx

I've gotten my pics back !
Give me 'til tomorrow to post them.

And I'm having trouble with my domain - so don't be surprised if I'm not here tomorrow, either !

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( 3:16 PM ) sisoflexx

Dammit !

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( 3:14 PM ) sisoflexx

I can preview my posts, everything is showing up good, but if I log on to my page, all it shows are yesterday's entries !

Talk about pissing me off !

By the time my BlogFest entry shows up, it'll be an 'effin archive.

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( 3:10 PM ) sisoflexx

Fishing Trip

A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?") "You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading." "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden..

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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( 1:26 PM ) sisoflexx

Jawja BlogFest 2003...

... Or...

" Why does my ass hurt this morning ? "

Boy, what a day !
I wanted to get up to the Blogfest early, so I left the house around 11am. I headed out to Dahlonega and according to Jay's directions, I passed Dahlonega and headed up into the mountains. So I turned around , heading back, and when I came to the four-way lights, I realised Jay had meant for me to go straight, not turn . So I'll let him off, this time.
Heading towards the square, which is reminicent of an english village, complete with roundabouts and one way streets, I was halted by an incredible amount of traffic. All the tourists, ' leafers ' and bikers were out in full force. I found a parking place, but it was a bank parking lot. I didn't want to risk getting towed, so I had to troll for another one. I walked around the square, squinting my eyes at all the store fronts, trying to find Caruso's Italian Restaraunt, but to no avail. I had already done a lap around the square, I was sweating my fat ass off, so I popped into a candle ~~shop~~ - 'shoppe' and asked the assistant where the restaraunt was. She pointed me to the other side of the square, where I had passed earlier. It's not on the square, but down a side street. Thanks, Rob !
I crossed over, and as I skipped across the pedestrian walk, a gorgeous woman passed by me, and on her shirt, streched across her bountiful breasts, were the words : Jawja Blogger Meet 2003.
Joanie had told me there was going to be a woman named Georgia at the meet, so I called out, " Georgia !"
She turned and I walked to her and introduced myself. She was getting something out of her truck, so I accompanied her to Caruso's, where the blogfest was tucked into a corner. There was a T shirt over one of the chairs, which read the same as Georgias , and there sat Recondo 32 ( Rick, and also Georgia's husband ) and the great Acidman. He gave me a big hug and told me he had a present for me.
" Oh-oh," I thought.
Silly me ! It was a t-shirt ! My very own Jawja Blogger Meet 2003 ! He had a bunch printed up and gave everyone their own. That was sweet. I changed into mine, and Rob had everyone sign his later in the evening.
They asked me to join them in eating their pizza, which was great, and the pan sat on the end of the table for hours, along with an ever growing accumulation of bottles and glasses. I was chattering away about how far away I was parked. They told me they got a handicapped spot, very close, and they joked about Denny not being able find a spot when he arrived. We got to know each other, and one of Rob's favorite questions, which he asked everyone, was : " What made you decide to start blogging ?"
We laughed about how I found him through Yahoo ! or Google search, just looking for Jawja bloggers, ( Lex has a whole list of DC Bloggers, but I couldn't find one for this area/state ) - and I also found Dax the same way, and the first post I read of Rob's was about the Effingham paper misquoting him :

"Saturday, May 04, 2002
Posted 9:30 AM by ACIDMAN MARS
YES I AM QUOTED in the SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS article about Effingham county. I am the one called 'Jennifer.' Forget about that husband and four kids stuff I fed that reporter. I made that crap up, but he seemed gullible, he needed a serious dose of air conditioning, and I liked the little notepad he used to scribble on, and he took copious notes. Read his story HERE. Then move to Effingham County before we run out of room. "

I wasn't there long before other bloggers arrived ; Kenny, who is a long time friend of Rob, Georgia and Rick's. Kenny walked miles to find a store that sold Sharpie pens, so Rob could have his shirt signed.
And Kenny - you are such a quiet guy !
Eric the Red drove all the way from Tennessee to be there, flashing his antique silver cigarette case, blinding everyone with its' brilliance . ( Dax could use one of those ! )
I'm sure all the other patrons thought we were a bunch of computer nerds, the way we were carrying on about URLs, moveable type, etc., but were in our element, giving each other tips, joking about our past failures.
Donnie and his wife Donna came up from Macon, Jawja. They were the next there, that's when Kenny the busboy got up and cleared the table of all the glasses and bottles.
Donna was telling us about her kids, and their ages, and I couldn't believe it when she said she has an 18 year old. I thought she was younger, and Donny joked that he gets that look when he's out with her, like: " You old Perv !"
Dax arrived ' fashionably late '. I have to say, he's a huge bear of a man. I couldn't tell that by the picture on his site.
Kelley and Adam arrived together, and at first I thought he and Kelly were ' together ', but they set me straight on that belief. Kelley had us laughing with a story of the Hawaiian ' cult ' her family was loathe to let her go visit.

Jay and Rachel ( hubby and buddy ) arrived, so I moved down to the end of the table to sit with them.

Which reminds me : Next year lets arrange the tables so we're in a group, not at a long trestle table, unable to mingle. I was dissappointed I didn't get to know some of the bloggers very well. I hope I'm not alone on this !

Speaking of which, Denny arrived, and I just introduced myself, but didn't get to talk to him, as I was at the other end of the table. I got to speak briefly to Angie, who wouldn't reveal her site, as she wants to get it perfect before she starts posting.

When Jay arrived, he and Dax seemed to hit it off right away, and it's because they knew each other years ago, when they were both involved in political meetings. Start singing : " It's a small world, after all..."

Jay's turn on for the night was when the girls started putting their feet on the table, showing off the painted toes. He ran down there and posed for pictures, kissing their feet. For some reason, I have the taste of toejam in my mouth, but I can't recall why that would happen... Oh, well !

I spoke at length to Eric the Red, I think he was the only one brave enough to put up with my venomous barbs. [ I hope Eric got rid of the ink from his forearm, where I connected the dots on his red freckles. With indelible marker, no less ! ]
He told us about his Rabbie ( Robert ) Burns night at his house every 25th of January. ( I'll take that as an invitation ! ) And it was neat to find out his wife is Scottish, and that he lived in Scotland for 8 years.

Which reminds me : I hope no one was offended by my behavior, anything I did or said. It was all in jest, and it was the booze talking. I can't claim resposibility ! Really, I hope no one is pissed at me. I'll find out by reading their sites, and by how many blogrolls I've been dropped from.

At long last, and relief I'm sure, to the waitress, we took our leave.
Every one but Rachel and I went to the cabin at Blood Mountain ( as far as I know ), it seemed late, but it was only 7pm. Jay had left earlier, as he had to work. He actually enjoyed himself, and wanted to stay.
We had decided earlier that even if we had a good time, we wouldn't follow the others up to the cabin, because there were arrangements we needed to make in order to do so. Now we know everyone, we had a great time, and would love to spend more time with them. Next year we'll rent a cabin and party into the night. I know we missed out on some fun there !

I know I'm missing alot of the story, and I know some things will pop into my thoughts, and they'll join the later posts. I really enjoyed meeting everyone, it was a nice group of people, whom I'd love to see again. ( Awww! )

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Rob, who settled the tab. That big spender paid for most of the drinks. And for getting this BlogFest arranged, it wouldn't have been done without him. Kiss kiss !

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( 12:48 AM ) sisoflexx

I've said goodnite to Rachel; it's past midnight and my hunt and peck is worse than usual !
Anyway, I had a FUBAR with my polaroid - the film was faulty, so I ended up with 2 pics to bring home and post ...

There were 14 people tonight , which I will write a more detailed acount...
Not as detailed as Robs'...
One funny bit of info I learned tonight- even though I've been trolling for over a year,Dax and my husband know each other ! Wierd, huh?

Anyway, talk to you much later ! Goodnite !

Yeah, we're there !

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( 10:04 AM ) sisoflexx

I've spent the last hour fixing this effin blog again. My template was cut in half- how the hell did that happen ? That's the second time, too. Next time will be the last.
Anyway, now I have to fix my links. But, it will have to wait, as I need to get ready for my big 'do in Dahlonega !

Smell ya later !

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( 10:01 AM ) sisoflexx

Which reminds me... I've added Rick to my ever growing blogroll, his site contains music and anime, and his blog has short stories that are quite good.

Just saying, is all.

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CURRENT MOON

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