Ms. Ann Thrope

Well, another shopping season over !

I managed to do well, I believe, considering how crappy the month started off.
I can't belive how quickly the year has flown by. I guess the older you get, the less 365 days seem.
When I'm at work, I keep myself busy, I'm not one of the ' clock ' watchers, and the day seems to usually fly by. Not all days, but most. Therefore, the weekend is here before I know it. Of course, the weekends don't seem to be long enough by far !
So, another year is coming to an end.
One thing I'm looking forward to is seeing my Dad and Marba. I used to see them once every other month when I lived closer, but now I'm 13 hours away instead of 4. I just hope the weather is lovely for travel.

Braylen talks about shopping for himself all year, ( and not needing to get anything form anyone else ) and I commented that we do the same. Jay was exasperated when I came home a few weeks ago and pulled the Pirates of the Carribean movie out of a shopping bag. He reminded me that xmas was close, and I pointed out that through the year we get what we want all the time. ( Then I end up stammering when I'm asked what I want for xmas." Uhh, I dunno ".)
My Mum and Marba point out that we're buying ' shite ', and need to put our money into savings. And all along I knew they were right, but this past month has shown me the light. There are rainy days, and I need to put aside for them. There are also the things we need to save up for , like a down payment for a new vehicle, a screened - in - porch, a tv that's not 14 years old and 19 inches of viewing pleasure , for instance. The times when I've accidentally rented a letterbox version seemed like we were, well, peeking through a letterbox into someone's livingroom, trying to watch their movie.

And we don't work from paycheck to paycheck. The past few years have been really good for us in that aspect, but when you have nothing to show for it (say, a 36-inch screen ? ) then it's time to wake up.

Anyhoo, I don't make New Years' resolutions, for the fact that they are good for New Years day, and that's about all they're good for. I will be making a big change in our financial upkeep from now on. One thing I've done, for instance, is take brothers advice on renting movies from NetFlix. I used to be bad about buying movies, whether I'd seen them or not and knew I liked them, rather than adding to my collection of movies I knew were keepers. So I became a good girl and started renting them, but that is still expensive. And the video store is way out of the way. If they had a Hollywood Video store closer, I'd be worse, I'd be there every other day. ( They have Blockbuster stores closer, but I've refused to go to one after they called us a week after I'd returned a movie, claiming it was late. I told them I'd returned it, and they said they'd look. They called a few weeks later, thanking me for returning it, and I now owed $16.50. Then there was a debt collector writing to me. That was over 5 years ago. Can you imagine the money they could have made off of me in that time ? Enough said. )
Back to NetFlix - you can rent 3 movies at a time, and there's no time limit, the DVDs you choose online come in the mail, you watch them, put them back in an envelope, and mail ( free ) them back. When they get a movie back, they send the next one on your list. I just started, as they had a free trial ( 2 weeks ) but I've sent 2 back on Monday, and just received another in the mail today. That was quick. For $20 a month, it's a bargain for me !
Enough of my commercial, I'll write more later.

This archive...

( 4:44 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting.

* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

*The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet.

*On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

*She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

*The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

*I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.

*Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.

*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

*Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

*Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

*The patient refused an autopsy.

*The patient has no past history of suicides.

*The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

*Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

*Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.

*The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

*She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.

*The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.

*The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

This archive...

( 5:00 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to the his dad.

"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years!"

This archive...

( 9:00 AM ) sisoflexx

Since I have no original thoughts of my own, I'm going to ride Red's coat tails to glory :

Eric wrote about the walks he's taken through Scotland, and I thought I'd post a few pics of our treks through some of the eastern territory. The pictures don't do the country justice, but they're close enough !

These are pictures taken in Sutherland, on the east coast of Scotland, in/near the town of Golspie.
My Mum's mother and her sisters were raised here.

Picnic at the seashore

Eric reminded me of picnics, which often happened to occur right where we were situated, at the time. Here we are on the seaside in Golspie. We always had a cooler full of food, with which we'd make cheese butties, and eat hard-boiled eggs . Ahh ! Living rough in the wild !
A healthy hike thru the heelans'

Here's Auntie Ruby and Mum helping Auntie Milly up, while Morgan I stand in the foreground, being useless, but having a good laugh.
The roofless house in the background is the home where Auntie Rubs and Milly were raised as small girls. It's named "my Grannys' Heelan' Hame " ( after a song ) In other words, " My Grannys' Highland Home ".

Here's a close up of the old house. My bedroom is bigger than this house, which was one room. I asked the Aunties where they went to the bathroom, to which they replied, " Outside ! We wiped our backsides with a dock leaf . "
It makes you appreciate what you have, all the more.

This is an Iron Age broch, called - Cairn Liath broch
. It's a settlement on the coast used to watch for coastal invaders, and to live in, obviously.
The mountain ( yes, mountain ) in the background is Ben Bhraggie, of which a statue of Duke of Sutherland (Ben Bhraggie Monument) is erected. There was alot of controversy back in the 90's ( and still ongoing) trying to get the statue removed :

Should the Duke of Sutherland Remain?: "In 1994, Sandy Lindsay of Inverness, Scotland, proposed that the Statue of the Duke of Sutherland be removed from its lofty perch on Ben Bhraggie, in Golspie, Sutherland(shire). He appealed to the descendants of the Highland Scots who were driven off their lands by agents of the Duke of Sutherland, often with their houses burned over their heads.

It was the time of the Clearances; the Marquis of Stafford, by marriage the Duke of Sutherland at the time, allowed his own clansfolk to be cruelly forced away from their homes to seek a scanty living fishing in the most treacherous waters Scotland has to offer, to the slums of Glasgow and Edinburgh, or across the oceans to (now) Canada and USA, New Zealand and Australia.

If the ships on which they sailed (often more crowded and in poorer condition than the slave ships out of Africa) did not sink to the bottom of the ocean, they faced privation and hardship in establishing new homes in a very unfamiliar land. "

Yes, there was alot of hiking involved on this trip !
In the backgound, is Ben Bhraggie again !

This archive...

( 7:24 AM ) sisoflexx

Queer Eye For The Deposed Dictator Guy

Courtsey of Mabs

This archive...

( 5:59 PM ) sisoflexx

I was just relating to my Mum the story of our adventure last night, and told her, " I should be writing this down. "

So I am.

It starts off with the boy and myself getting ready for beddies, and I was sitting on the can and poof ! the lights went out. I heard Morg fumbling around in his room, and he came out into the hall, in front of the bathroom door. " Mom ? Where are you ? I can't see a thing !"
I opened the bathroom door, telling him, " I know what you mean."
I felt for my lighter and flicked my Bic, in the process, giving Morg a sweet view of the queen on her throne.
" AARRGGggghhhh! ! " he yelled, sheilding his eyes.
I took pity on his poor eyes and put the lighter back down on the table, and completed my absorbing encounter sans light. Morg told me the power was on across the street, and at first I had a bad feeling someone ( me ) forgot to pay the power bill.
I came out with the hot lighter in my hands, and Morg followed me out into the livingroom, ( the house across the lake a half mile away had power, the ones across the street from us didn't , I pointed out to M.) where there's an abundance of candles . ( Jays ) I lit a few, then called Jay at work to ask what to do with the woodburning furnace in the basement.
He told me to shut it off, and that he'd call the power company to alert them the power was out.

Well, the funny part of the story is that the boy and I were looking for a flashlight, as I couldn't find the one I keep next to the front door. I took a little candle down the basement stairs, with Morg following close behind, as he didn't want to be left alone. He asked me why I wasn't scared, and I replied it was probably because he was with me. It's easier when you're not alone. That, and someone had to be the damn adult around here !
So, I'm skulking around the basement, shutting off the furnace with hot candle wax dripping on my knuckles, and we find a flashlight, but it's dead. Up the stairs we go, with Morg telling me he had batteries in his room. Alas, no D batteries, only AA for gameboy play.

We went back out to the living room, and sat and talked for a few minutes, talking about how I was going to wake him up in the morning, since he couldn't set his alarm, when he reminded me he was out of school on Friday. ( Lucky devil ! )
As I sat there, my eyes wandered in the minimal light, I spied a familiar shape, right there on the coffee table --- I reached out and grabbed it :

A freakin' flashlight !

This archive...

( 5:10 PM ) sisoflexx

"The jury on Thursday found Malvo, 18, guilty of killing Franklin, a 47-year-old FBI analyst, outside a Virginia hardware store during a shooting spree that killed 10 people in and around Washington, D.C., last year."

Okay, as times marches on, most who've heard this story may have become hardened to it . Here's something that hits a little closer to home. Imagine it's your mom, your spouse :

"Franklin's husband, William Franklin, was standing next to her when she was gunned down and the prosecution played for the court a recording of the panicked 911 call he made immediately afterward.
Franklin's voice was so high-pitched that the operator addressed him as 'ma'am' several times and struggled to understand him through his sobs and ragged breathing. "

I couldn't even begin to imagine myself in that position were it any member of my family, let alone being there to witness it happen.

This archive...

( 5:05 PM ) sisoflexx

I screwed up trying to save the pic ( no suprise ! ), but you can see it
here.
Supposedly, there's a capture of a ghosts' image on film at Hampton Court Palace, where Henry VIII resided.

"In the still photograph, the figure of a man in a robe-like garment is shown stepping from the shadowy doorway, one arm reaching out for the door handle.
The area around the man is somewhat blurred, and his face appears unnaturally white compared with his outstretched hand.
'It was incredibly spooky because the face just didn't look human,' said James Faukes, one of the palace security guards.
'My first reaction was that someone was having a laugh, so I asked my colleagues to take a look. We spoke to our costumed guides, but they don't own a costume like that worn by the figure. It is actually quite unnerving,' Faukes said."

To me, ( and I'm opened minded ), it could've been a hobo, for all I know...

This archive...

( 4:00 PM ) sisoflexx

Another addition to my links on the right. It's called " The Best Page In The Universe ", and I'm inclined to agree.
Reading these pages has made me laugh so hard, I've got tears in my eyes.
He definately has some views that are right on the mark.
Here's an excerpt from 'Take your X-TREME marketing and shove it.'

"I bought the X-TREME Soynut bar and took it home to try it out, because I bet people who snowboard and bungee jump live off of X-TREME Soynut bars and Mountain Dew (Mountain Dew is by far the most X-TREME brand of sugar water). When I got home, I anxiously opened the package, stepped back a few feet, and waited for the bar to back flip off of the table and jump into my mouth. The bar just sat there. I couldn't understand: the packaging said 'X-TREME' but the Soynut bar seemed incapable of mountain biking. Thinking that I got a defective bar, I moved onto the Jello. I opened the package and waited for the jello to kick me in the face and force its way down my throat. Alas, nothing. It just sat there, almost as if I bought a non-X-TREME brand of product: the plain old nerdy kind of food that you can eat without cruising on a skateboard. Damndest thing, because the package clearly indicates a significant amount of TOTALLY AWESOME attitude.
I felt ripped off, so in an effort to salvage the money I wasted on this bullshit, I ate six cups of jello, one bag of corn nuts, a Soynut bar, and a bag of jelly beans for dinner. The only thing X-TREME about this experience was the X-TREME dump I took later that night: "

It made me laugh, and that's all that matters !

This archive...

( 3:14 PM ) sisoflexx

Braylen has a great post about service technicians.
Remember how pissed you get at the computer nerd on the other end of the phone line, when you're trying to fix your problem ?
Think of how it must be for them at times !

'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
'I can't reach.'
'Well, can you see if it is?'
'No.'
'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark.'
'Dark?'
'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
'Well, turn on the office light then.'
'I can't.'
'No? Why not?'
'Because there's a power failure.'

There's more to this story, and I didn't want to post it because it spoils the reason for links, but I know how lazy some of us are, and I want you to know the end of this situation, so I'll just out and out rob and rape here :

"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer."

Courtesy of Mad World

This archive...

( 11:11 PM ) sisoflexx

With xmas coming up, you should
Vote for your fave !

Courtesy of Mabs

I have a bad feeling ' Sorority Slut ' is going to make the grade...

This archive...

( 11:03 PM ) sisoflexx

Great holiday pic

Courtesy of Mabs

This archive...

( 8:42 AM ) sisoflexx

All I can say, is "wow".

I didn't expect this when I got up this morning !

Saddam Captured in Tikrit, disguised and dusty TIKRIT, Iraq (Dec. 14) - U.S. troops captured Saddam Hussein near his home town of Tikrit in a major coup for Washington's beleaguered occupation force in Iraq. 'Ladies and gentlemen,we got him,' the U.S. administrator in Iraq Paul Bremer said on Sunday in his first, pithy comments to a Baghdad news conference. Cheers greeted the announcement.

This archive...

( 8:45 PM ) sisoflexx

Why We Love Children

1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.

( I told Ameena " Thanks, a nice dead cat joke !" )

"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.

"Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

"You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it

didn't move."

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No, You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?"

The boy thought it over and said,

"Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm
a mother was tucking her son into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice:
"The big sissy."

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said,

"That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"

The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,

"Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.

She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."

"I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"

7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,

"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.

Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"

The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that farmer said?"

One little girl raised her hand and said,
"I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"

She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."

10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"

Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."

The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating a snack cake The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

Courtesy of heartless, bringer of dead cat jokes, Ameena

This archive...

( 8:09 PM ) sisoflexx

Where the hell

was this

when I was out at the mall today ?

Shoppers in central Berlin on Friday were treated to the sight of scantily-clad live shop window 'dummies' flexing their muscles and baring their buttocks in a publicity stunt for men's underwear.

IHe sure as hell wasn't in Gainesville, Jawja !

This archive...

( 8:05 PM ) sisoflexx

I know it's rough , guys, but, cummon !

The top U.S. general in Iraq said on Saturday he would rethink the Iraqi army pay structure after a wave of recruits quit the new force over low salaries.

"Lieutenant-General Ricardo Sanchez acknowledged soldiers who quit over salaries of $150 monthly for senior officers may have a legitimate grievance.

'We're in the process of reviewing the pay scales to determine what needs to be done there to ensure that they have a decent standard of living,' he told reporters in Baghdad. "

I barely made $400 a month when I was a new recruit. And I would think America has a higher standard of living.
How much, exactly, were they making a month in their life before Saddam was ousted, I'd like to know ?

The remarks reflect the depth of transatlantic bitterness over Iraq following a Pentagon decision to limit $18.6 billion in Iraq reconstruction contracts to countries that backed the United States, freezing out the likes of Germany, France and China.

I would feel grateful that another country has gone into debt to give a hand.
Do they think there aren't going to be cutbacks and budgets for reparations to build their new country ? Shouldn't the country help to repay that debt ?
And I have to question the loyalty of the majority ( not all ) in the first place.
So you get paid crap for a few years, like I did, first starting out.

This archive...

( 7:43 PM ) sisoflexx

This is some fluff piece on a new Nicole Kidman movie:

"Blood from the hog's carefully slit throat drips into a cauldron. Flames lick at the animal's flesh, and Jude Law is scraping the charred skin with a knife. Natalie Portman stands on the cabin's porch, her nose crinkled and her eyes squinting at the sight.

I just thought this was a humorous quote :

''It's a good reminder of why I'm a vegetarian,'' Portman says. ''Jude and I both won some PETA award last year for being, like, famous vegetarians."

Queen Amadalia, my ass. The Federation is screwed!

This archive...

( 7:51 AM ) sisoflexx

Acidman has some new pics from BlogFest 2003 up at his site.

Don't look at the first one !

This archive...

( 7:36 AM ) sisoflexx

I've got chores to do, and by chores, I mean errands.
I have to pick up a FedEx package, which for the past 2 days hasn't been left on the porch like I specified. No wonder they had a rep spend 7 years on a deserted island through negligence.

I've also got to get new shoes for the boy, and pick up a few prezzies, so that means putting myself in danger at the mall with all the holiday shoppers.

I hate shopping so much, I'd rather clean the house. That tells you how much I dislike mall hopping.

Then I've got to pick Morg's bud for a sleepover, so I'll be out for a while.

Fun, fun fun !

This archive...

( 7:31 AM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny ( Keeping in the xmas spirit )

The phone rings ((( ring )))
((((((((((( ring-g-g-g-g)))))))))))

***pick up***
"Hello?"

"Hi, honey, this is Daddy .... Is your Mommy near the phone?"

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Frank," After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Oh Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now!"

"Uh, Okay, then ... here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy and Uncle Frank that Daddy's car's just pulled up outside the house."

"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well,I did what you said, Daddy."

"And what happened?" he asks.

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the rug and went flying out the front window and now she's all dead."

"Oh my God!!!!! And what about your Uncle Frank?"

"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he jumped out the back window into the swimming pool ... but he must have forgot that last week you took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool and now he's all real dead too."

***long pause***

Then Daddy says,
"Swimming pool???? Is this 555-7039?"

courtesy of Ameena

This archive...

( 6:42 PM ) sisoflexx

When it rains, it pours...

...or, bad luck, it comes in threes !

Bullshit. I just had number 5 and 6.
And on the same day !

Let me go through 1 - 3 first, nearer the beginning of the month of December :

1. Spaz ( the cat ) got sick, which is one of those things pet owners go through, that's par for the course. But the $500 bill is a bit of a let down, especially when you're thinking of all these great gifts you had in mind. ( And no, I wasn't even going to spend $200, let alone $ 500, just so you know the extent of my budget, or lack of ! )
Oh well, you don't need the great gifts, it's the thought that counts, right ?

2. Spaz gets very sick, enough to where she's dying in front of our eyes. We decide to end her life humanely. This blow isn't monetary, but it's one of the worst blows ever . One that you don't get over too soon.

3. Jay had reminded me to pay a bill, due this week. " Not much, $50 or so." he said.
Well, the other night I picked up the bill and noticed there were 2 pages. 2 bills. I won't go into the amount, other than it's astronomical to us, and it sends this burning , shooting pain up my right arm when I think about it.
Well, it's just going to be late, of course, we can't cancel xmas for my son. And the family and friends will understand that homemade gifts are the ones that show you really care !

I know, I know, it could be worse, and believe me, I've been through worse. I think it's just the 'one right after the other ' motif that seems to be decorating me right now. Okay - onto # 4 !

4. At work I noticed a big red spot on my right eye, just right to the retina. I wear contacts, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's what caused it. Thing is, it doesn't hurt. Maybe that's even worse. Anyway, as soon as I got home I took them out and put my owl eye - huge as shit - 80's reject - square pegs glasses on.
So what if the lens prescription is over 5 years old, and the bridge is super-glued together from when I snapped it in two a year ago ? I can still see. It's not the most flattering thing to have on your face ( try Jays ass ), but it's not like I'm trying to be hot. Some might say I'm going in the other direction.
That's beside the point. All I saw was more money for new lenses being the least serious of the problem, while the more serious problem would be more money for an exam , ( which I last had in August ) to find out it's a tumor, which at this point in the day I guess I really wouldn't be shocked, believe me. I suppose the glasses will just have to do for a couple of months, I can deal with it.

Anyways, that was 2 days ago, and the redness is clearing, so hopefully that's that.

5. We knew with a roadtrip coming up that we'd need to take the car in, that's a given, seeing as I knew some of the tires are worn, it needs a front end alignment , ( for the past month I've been driving down straight stretches of road with my steering wheel turned at quarter to nine instead of noon ) and an oil change, to boot. That was an expense I also wasn't looking forward to, but it wasn't unforseen. What was unforseen (but not a shock ) was getting 5 minutes from home at 6 : 30 o'dark this morning and hearing the melody of rubber slapping wheel well continously. That tune sucks. I pull over into a cow pasture gate way and sit there, knowing that Jay's just crawled into his lovely warm bed, and thought, "thank goodness for cell phones !"
He answers the 2nd time I call, and says he's on his way. Just as he gets there, the man that lives across the street comes out and tells us to pull in his drive , then goes about helping us change the tire. ( by 'us', I mean the Jay 'us' )
The lugnuts were so tight, that Jay bent the lugwrench into an unusual shape. So it was lucky that guy ( named Andy ) helped us, as he had one in his shop.
I asked why Jay wasn't wearing his coat, then when he explained he didn't think of it, I pointed out that I was wearing it.

So, to end the story of #5, I took the car in and found out I had to replace all four tires, and of course, I knew my friends and family wouldn't mind a $1 scratch off lotto ticket each.

6. I came home, got in the door, and Jay called to me from upstairs ( lazy ass still in bed ) and when I got to him he seemed a little upset, as he was just coming out of a nightmare.
" You were leaving me."
" How did you find out ? " I ask jokingly.
" We were at this party, and this guy led you away by the hand, and off you went, and sat at his table. I couldn't believe it."
I sniggered quietly .
" Then you took off your shirt , " ( I look bewildered ) " you had another shirt on underneath, ( that's more like it, I think ) and I realised all of a sudden, ' she's leaving me ! ' "
I told him how silly he was, but he continued. " Then I had to leave to go to work, and it was at a gas station..."
" Now I am going to leave you ! " I laughed.
" ...then my Dad was there, and he turned into Mr. Spock..."

You get the idea. As he finished with telling me how he heard me come in the door, and realized I hadn't left him ,and he knew it was all a bad dream, I took off my glasses and stated cleaning them on my shirt. Suddenly, there was a snap ! and I had two pieces of my glasses in my hands.
I looked down at my hands in shock, and Jay started ~~guffawing~~
( okay, laughing uproarously )doing a perfect impression of Bill Paxton in Aliens : " That's it ! Xmas is cancelled ! We're screwed !!!"
And I threw the pieces of eyeglasses on the bed and fell to my knees laughing too, putting my head on the quilt, except I started to sob at the same time.
So I put an end to the boo hoo bit and let the laughter win.
I wiped my tears and told Jay I'd go glue my glasses again.

And friends and family will have to bloody well make do with a good wish and a kiss, won't they ? !

This archive...

( 6:33 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funnys

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn.
He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

And this from an enigmatic mind:

12 Days of Christmas

December 14th
Dearest John:
I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear
tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn�t have been more surprised
With dearest love and Affection, Agnes

-----------------------------

December 15th
Dearest John:
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine, two turtle
doves....I�m just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just
adorable.
All my love, Agnes

-------------------------

December 16th
Dear John:
Oh, aren�t you the extravagant one! Now I must protest. I don�t deserve
such generosity. Three French hens. They are just darling but I must
insist....you�re just too kind.
Love Agnes

----------------

December 17th
Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really! They are
beautiful, but don�t you think enough is enough? You�re being too
romantic.
Affectionately, Agnes

----------------------------

December 18th
Dearest John:
What a surprise! Today the postman delivered five golden rings. One for
each finger. You�re just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, John, all
those squawking birds were beginning to get on my nerves.
All my love, Agnes

--------------------

December 19th
Dear John:
When I opened the door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front
steps. So you�re back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge.
Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can�t
sleep through the racket. PLEASE STOP!
Cordially, Agnes

----------------------

December 20th
John:
What�s up with you and those fucking birds????
Seven swans a-swimming. What kind of goddam joke is this? There�s bird
shit all over the house and they never stop the racket. I�m a nervous
wreck and I can�t sleep all night. IT�S NOT FUNNY.............so stop
with those f**king birds.
Sincerely, Agnes

----------------------

December 21st
OK Buster:
I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with eight
maids a-milking? It�s not enough with all those birds and eight maids
a-milking, but they had to bring their own goddam cows. Just lay off me.
SMART ASS.
Ag.

--------------------

December 22nd
Hey Shithead:
What are you? Some sort of sadist? Now there�s nine pipers playing.
And Christ - do they play. They never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are upset and are stepping all
over those screeching birds. No wonder they screech. What am I going to
do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me. You�ll get yours.
From Ag

-------------------------

December 23rd
You Rotten Prick:
Now there�s ten ladies dancing - I don�t know why I call those sluts
ladies. They�ve been balling those nine pipers all night long. Now those
cows can�t sleep and they�ve got diarrhea. My living room is a river of
shit. The commissioner of buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why
the building shouldn�t be condemned. I�m sticking the police on you.
One who means it, Ag

----------------------------

December 24th
Listen F**khead:
What�s with he eleven lords a-leaping on those maids and aforementioned
"ladies"? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran
through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All 234
of the birds are dead. They have been trampled to death in the orgy. I
hope you�re satisfied, you rotten swine.
Your sworn enemy, Miss Agnes McCallister

----------------------------------

December 25th (from the law offices Taeker, Spredar, and Baegar)
Dear Sir:
This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling, which
you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McCallister. The
destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our
attention. If you should attempt to real Miss McCallister at Happy Dale
Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With
this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest

This archive...

( 6:25 PM ) sisoflexx

There's a great photo of the US Navys new " Terrorist Catch and Release Program " over at Mad World. Do yourself a laugh and go there !

This archive...

( 6:03 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

A few years ago, we invited some friends over for a Christmas party. Many of my colleagues were there, and many of them are
German. Helmut, Franz, and Rudolf were there.

I was talking to Rudolf about his belief in the superiority of the communist party. I grew tired of the discussion so I motioned towards the window and commented on the weather, "I believe it's snowing". "No, it looks too wet to be snow," he said. The argument went back and forth for a few minutes: rain, snow, rain, snow...

Then my wife came over and settled the argument for us. She said: "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"

This archive...

( 6:22 PM ) sisoflexx

Flash from the past

Especially thinking of xmas past, I remember a story my Mum told me about when we ( my brother and I ) were ages 7 and 5, respectively.

Earlier that year, there was a girl in the apt. building across from ours that got a bike. A nice, two wheeler, probably something akin to a 1976 Schwinn. It wasn't one of those 70's banana seat bikes, that much I remember.

Within that one day, I learned to ride a bicycle. I can only imagine this other little girl wondering when she'd get her bike back, but I know I didn't give it up ! ( I apologize, where ever you are ! )

It slowly got darker, and I remember my Mum coming out and telling me it was time to come in.
I'm embarassed to say, I didn't give in without a fight. The other girls' mother was trying to pry the handle bars from my vice-like grip, as my own mother was tugging on me, trying to wrest me from said bike, while all the while I was screaming like a spoiled little shite.

Guess I must have liked the bike, huh ?

Anyways, my Mum told me of how her and Dad decided they'd get us both bikes that xmas, because I loved it, and not to leave my younger brother out, either. She told me that xmas eve , my Dad had to put 2 bikes together that evening, and he was up a good part of the night doing so. ( I believe the figure was 2am. )
I imagine how long the preparation of gifts were that night, only knowing from my own experience, that it takes a ' Mission Impossible ' like stance on trying to bring the whole thing together. If you think your kids are asleep, you have to use stealth-like movements not to make a sound, as their nerves are already whanging from the excitement, any small sound can make their eyes pop open.

Okay, my Dad stayed up half the night putting together these bikes, ( resplendant in their glittery banana seatness and tassles on the handle bars ) and in the morning, ( I'm sure we woke them up- three hours after he got to bed after setting these things together ) he got to the living room before us, so he could witness our ecstatic delight on our faces when we aspied our new bikes, strategically placed at the front of the room, where we had to pass by, and where we couldn't miss them.

Well, we missed 'em.

We ran right by these shiny new bikes towards the tree and started exclaiming all our joy over the gayfully wrapped gifts under it.

It was years later that before my Mum could tell me of the look on my Dads' face when this event happened.

This archive...

( 7:16 PM ) sisoflexx

Googled by an arab man !

This archive...

( 7:01 PM ) sisoflexx

I'm making up for lost time , I think !
( It keeps me busy ! )

You are 'Jingle Bells'! Full of enthusiasm and
good cheer, you are excited by the first
appearances of Christmas decorations in shops
and have been heard singing along to the piped
music. Your attitude to Christmas is one of
childlike delight - with a slightly mercenary
streak. You definitely believe in Santa (you
get more presents that way) and will put up
your Christmas tree as early as possible. You
really like carolling, and presents, and mince
pies, and pudding, and will insist on getting
everyone up at dawn to open presents
immediately. So long as the food and presents
are good, you will have a great Christmas.

What Christmas Carol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

This archive...

( 6:54 PM ) sisoflexx

Two new links to add.
Boy ! I'm up to what ? , ten here ?

That just shows only the creme de la creme reside here at this suck hole !

Enigmatic Mind
and
Dicking Around

Don't you want some fun in your dull life ?

Then go there, ass !

This archive...

( 6:50 PM ) sisoflexx

Considering what the talk in our house has been this week, this is ironic:

"Once I shuffle off this mortal coil the last thing on my ethereal mind will be 'Hmmm that sho wuz a mighty fine casket they spent a few grand on to put in the ground.' Don't spend a lot of money on a funeral either. funerals are for the living anyway. The dead don't care. "

I agree, 100%.

This archive...

( 6:47 PM ) sisoflexx

Conservatives Want Reagan's Face on Dimes:
I had to scan down to the very last paragraph for any mention of this :

"The dime has borne Roosevelt's profile since 1946, a year after his death, in part commemorating his support for the March of Dimes campaign to fight polio."

That was the whole reason his face was slapped on the dime - he organised a rally where school kids sent in their dimes to raise funds for polio research, and it was named the March of Dimes for that reason.

Fuck with the nickel, for bogs sake !

This archive...

( 6:40 PM ) sisoflexx

If I had my way, the xmas tree would go up in October, but Jay puts his foot down on that issue. We I put the tree up last night. We I put the lights on. I think Jay put one ornament on it, Morgan a few more. But as I stood there, hanging garlands, I spoke my mind : " Ah, lovely, the family , I mean, the Heather decorating tree night." Jay just laughed and pointed out a bare space on the tree I missed.
We have a ' Kitten Chow' ornament that I painted Spazs' name on when she was a kitten, so there was a misty eye, there.
I was hanging pearl ropes and Jay told me no more, too much. I put them around my neck and asked what he thought : " You look like a french whore. " I asked why the hell do pearls make you a tart, and he replied that they are over-rated. " Only because you are a cheap bastard, " I retorted. ( I usually get his favorite music or movies on xmas day.)
As a last flourish, I added the tree topper, which also has a funny story behind it, I may have mentioned it before: A few years ago this topper was added to our decorations, and Jay exclaimed :" What's with the gaudy bear ? !" ( It is a bear, with a long white lacy gown, complete with frilly wings. )

After his laughter had died down to muffled hiccups, I told him,

" Your mother made it."

This archive...

( 6:35 PM ) sisoflexx

Pic of the week

Here's an ornament Morg made in school a few years ago- I'd say 3rd grade.
Was his teacher that hateful ? A mouthful of food ?

Ahh, it's up on the tree , anyhoos.

This archive...

( 11:06 PM ) sisoflexx

Week worth of funnies
( I wasn't up to this earlier this week ! )

What is a dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a
dog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog
on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has
$100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.

The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the
dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which
keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The
bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying."

The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask
him something else."

The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks,
"Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?" The dog answers
with a muffled "RUTH."

With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out
the door.

As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and
says, "DiMaggio?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were
amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together
again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father
[never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never
seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed
a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them
into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father
watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls
light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse
direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful
24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father yells to his son, "Hurry boy - go get your mother!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the difference between an oral and a rectal
thermometer?

The taste!

This archive...

( 10:32 PM ) sisoflexx

I've been googled, and # 1 , at that. Of course it was for something completely different :Google Search: smell you later bart, smell you later forever

What a weird world.

This archive...

( 10:40 AM ) sisoflexx

Farewell

It took days to write, and multiple drainings of the eyes and keyboard.
It's a long story, and also saddening. I've wondered if anyone wants to read it, so I'm going to post it, then set up a link on the right to it for future reference. I'll warn you again, it is long, but I think it's worth the read.

On December 1st, this Monday, I drove home from work hoping that Spaz had eaten something, anything . I arrived home to find out she hadn't. I looked around the house for her, finally heading upstairs. I looked in the spare bedroom, where she had spent the last few days sleeping on the bed. She wasn't there, but as I turned towards Jays and my room, I saw her come out the door for me.

This is one fond memory I'll always have, as she always greeted me when I came home from work if she was in the vicinity. If she was outside, near the house, and not stealthily tracking down poor rodents, she knew the sound of my car ( rattle rattle ). Even in Va., when I arrived home in my Geo Tracker, she would jump up on the roof ( I hadn't even shut the engine off yet )and meow her greetings. Back then I would push up on the soft top and bounce her around. One day I was over zealous and she slid past the drivers side window, claws scrabbling for a hold. Here in Ga. she would greet me as I opened the car door. Sometimes I would pick her up and put her on my shoulder and walk to the house like that. We would talk. Yes, she verbalized with us often. It was a rare thing indeed if she didn't answer to " What ?" We did that so often, I think she believed that was her name. When calling out of the door looking for her, I finally started yelling "what ! wha--aa--aattt!" instead of her name, that usually got her running home. A recent ritual we started began when we moved into our new house, over a year ago. I would ask, " What ?" (miaow!) " What did he do to you ?" ( miaow !) "Was Jay mean to you ?" ( miaow !) "What did he do ?" (miaow !) I will never be able to say those sentances without tearing up, ever again.

I picked her up and headed downstairs. I had given her medicine that morning, and the dreaded water filled syringe down the throat ritual that morning, and if I didn't have to, I wasn't going to put her through that again. I opened a new can of tuna, and sat her in my lap, pleading with her to eat. She licked tuna juice from my fingers a couple of times, giving me false hope, but then she'd turn her head, like she was bored. I opened another can of cat food, and held that under her nose, and she sniffed, then turned away. Absolutely no desire to eat. This was the moment I knew that I had to continue with my decision. This was the last chance, and it was gone.
As it was a beautiful warm day outside, I carried her out on the back porch and sat in a chair with her in my lap. She lifted her head and sniffed at the breeze, suddenly alert, turning her head to distant noises ; leaves rustling, dogs barking, doors slamming, motorboats out on the lake. Her animal instincts kicking in after a week cooped up indoors. She made a motion to get down, so I lowered her to the floor, on the ready to grab her if she made a move to the steps. I had a nasty feeling if she made it away, she wasn't coming back, she'd lay in the woods and starve to death, alone.
She stretched, and sharpened her claws on the deck. Then slowly made her way to the steps. I picked her up and sat her back in my lap, and strocked her fur, crying. I took her back in, and she sat by the screen door and meowed to me. It was breaking my heart that she was showing some vibrance, but without eating, I knew I had to follow through. I kneeled down next to her, and petting her, told her, " You can go out later, for as long as you want." And that had me bawling again.
Jay took his shower and we watched her go to the front door and meow. We both agreed she was showing signs of her old self, except for the fact that she was thin and shaky.

He told me later that he almost told me that we could put it off for a day or so, but didn't want to put me through any more torture. If I sincerely believed she would have a semblance of her former self, taking meds and maybe even have a exhausting and expensive surgery on her old body, I would have taken that route. But she was never going to recover from leukemia, and another tumor would pop up again, in another place, and she'd go through it all over again. And so would I. But the fact that she refused to eat - there was no getting around that.

We packed her up in her cage and headed to the vets, at which I had already made an appointment for earlier that day. As we stood in the waiting room, a young assistant made a nice little faux pas. She called out Spaz's name, and when I stood up, she asked me, right in front of 5 other people, " Is Spaz here for her check-up ?" I choked out a 'no' and she stood there looking at me expectantly. " No ? Oh, what is she here for ?" I wanted to make a slashing motion across my throat, but, even if it was too hard to speak, I answered,
" Euthanization ." She had a look of regret on her face and apologised, and I turned to Jay as a loud hiccup came out of me and I tried not to bawl, but it didn't work out that way. I wanted to take Spaz out of her cage to hold her, to have as much time holding her as I possibly could, but there was a big dog in the vicinity, and didn't think it would be a good idea.
Finally another assistant came to the door and called for us. I lifted the huge cage and followed her down the hall.

I need to say something about this cage. It is a metal fold-away cage, and the size is fit for a bigger animal, say , a terrier or a pug, not a 7 pound cat. ( It's about three ft. high and four ft. long. ) I got it free in Ohio, for her first visit, and I've used it ever since. I get odd looks lugging her around in this, and I've often told myself I needed to buy one of those small cardboard cat carriers. But to tell you the truth, I never really expected her to be around this long. My experience with owning a cat is that they are fickle. They are usually not very loyal, and the first time someone waves juicier kibbles under their nose, that's it, game over. I know for a fact two of my cats in the past that have done this. I saw the traitors living just a block from our home. If they are outdoor cats, they are prone to being run over, attacked by dogs, or poisoned by mean neighbors for getting muddy pawprints on their cars. Needless to say, I just never got around to getting a smaller carrier.

When we got in the private room, I took Spaz out of the cage and held her, while the asst. verified we were there for euthanization, and then asked a few questions, one of which was if we were going to stay in the room with her while she went to sleep. I answered yes, and Jay looked surprised. He didn't realise I'd want to. The asst. told us that if we were staying , we needed to know a few things. She told us that sometimes pets will look like their gasping for breath, even though they are unconscious within 2-3 seconds. They may move around, loosen their bowels and bladder, and some have even vocally verbalized. At this point I had a second of doubt. Could I watch this ? If I was already being torn in two, how was I going to react to watching her do these things? Jay asked the asst. if she had pets, and if she would stay with hers. She looked like she was put on the spot, not really sure what she herself would do. I told her that I wanted to stay, it was the least I could do for all Spazs' years of faithful companionship. She asked if we wanted some time alone, and we told her yes. She explained that another asst. would be in to take our payment before we started.
After she left, I asked Jay if she thought we were going to bolt with the body. But then I told him they probably didn't want a sobbing woman upsetting the other customers, and it is crude to be handed a bill when you've just lost a loved one . " Will that be debit or credit ?"

I held Spaz to me, and she curled up with her head tucked in a circle between her hind legs. She purred on and on, loving every minute of it. We cried, soaking her fur, telling her what a great girl she is, how we loved her and we'd miss her. I didn't want the love to end, but I didn't want to stretch the inevitable out any longer, either. I never in a million years would expect to feel this way about an animal, yet here I was, choked to the point I couldn't speak, like a large rock was wedged in my throat. I hated the fact that I was about to do this to her, take away her life, when she had been in mine for so long.

All too soon, the vet enetered the room and asked us if we wanted more time. We replied no, drawing it out was awful, and I was afraid I'd selfishly change my mind. He went over the same things his asst. did earlier, and they turned Spaz around , so that she was facing us. It showed me how weakened she was by this illness, she didn't growl or hiss, even when the vet shaved her arm with an electric razor. I kissed on her and told her again how much I loved her, and when the needle was being put in her skin, I stupidly asked the vet if that was 'it'. He said yes, and as the drugs entered her arm, and we were petting her, her little pink tongue popped out on the table. I cried out in surprise, and started telling her over and over ( again) how much we'd miss her and loved her. The vet told his asst. they should leave, and Jay and I kept petting her, even though she was gone, I kept speaking to her, apologising. Her pupils slowly widened and her eyes were completely black, and I pointed them out to Jay and wondered aloud if that was the meaning of 'eyes glazing over'. It looked like frost was slowly collecting on her retinas. Gone were the 'cat eye' slits, but even with her eyes open, it just looked like she was asleep. We never stopped stroking her, and the whole time Jay was comforting me, even though he was just as broken up as I was. Another vet entered the room with the same asst., and listened to Spaz's heart with a stethescope . He pronounced her dead ( I should hope so. Could you imagine the freak out if they had to do it again ?) and offered his condolences. The asst. had brought in a box with her, and asked if she could take the Beauty and the Beast towel from her cage to wrap her in. So she wrapped sweet ol' Spaz in a bright, colorful towel, and placed her in the box. I turned down her offer to carry Spaz out to the car, Jay grabbed the oversized cage she would never again need, and we stepped outside. The sun was shining, a warm day for the first of December. The afternoon traffic and all of the sounds of it made me turn to Jay and say, "And life goes on, as usual." No one is aware of what we've just been through, the world carries on as if nothing happened. As we headed home, I told Jay to stop at the liquor store. he said he could use a drink, too. When he went in, I couldn't help crying ( yet again ) about the little body in the box on the backseat. I made things worse by saying out loud, " What ? What ? What did he do to you ?!" The same way I spoke to her when she greeted me at my car when I came home. And within that few minutes I let loose, with no-one around, and openly grieved. By the time Jay came out, I was blowing my nose. ( We went through alot of tissues this week.)
When we got home, Jay started immediately on digging a grave in the garden, a spot he chose, and we both decided it was the best site. I went in the house and threw away the dreaded medications, and all the cans of food she refused to eat. I washed out her water dish, then went to the extra bedroom and stripped the bed. There was so much hair on it, the spread looked black. When Jay came in, he talked about how some people will put off removing effects of those who have passed on, almost like keeping a shrine, but others come home straight away and clean house.
Morgan got off the school bus soon after, and I told him it was over, and that Jay had dug a huge hole so we could bury her. I asked him if he wanted to see her one last time, and he answered yes. I warned him that her eyes were open, and that her tongue was poking out, so he wouldn't be upset any further. I unrolled Spaz from the Beauty and the Beast towel, and he pet her and said goodbye. Jay and I gave her our final petting and I rolled her back up in the towel, placed her in the box, and taped it back up. I carried her out to the garden, and Jay placed her in the hole. We all spoke of what she meant to us, and Morgan I scrambled around the garden looking for any flowers that the frost had missed. We found a few dry ones, and we both grabbed lavender sprigs and threw them on the box. We each threw a handful of dirt and threw that on the box, also. Then Jay started filling in the hole. I suggested a cairn, like those in the heelands of Scotland, so Morgan and I rounded up scores of big river rocks, of which our property is nothing but. Jay picked up a big granite stone and placed it over her grave. Then it was over.
Jay and I spent the evening sitting in the increasingly darkening living room talking about the day's events, and memories of Spaz. For the next few days I couldn't help blurting out of the blue : " It was so quick ! Boom, she went down ." I can't get over how quick it went. Jay and I discussed how humans don't even have that choice, being able die peacefully and painlessly. Of course we spoke of not appreciating others until they are gone. I told Jay that even if she recovered, we'd forget about her illness and within a week we'd be pushing her away with her unwanted cuddles, or grumping about having to let her in or out.

That's guilt for you, though. Cats are largly independant creatures, most don't show any form of loyalty, or even affection to their owners. I can see why a dog owner would actually be more stricken with grief, because dogs are more like humans. They wear their emotions on their sleeves, and are extremely loyal. I'm going to write about Spazs' loyalty later, because it was amazing.

It's been a hard week, the next day all I pictured was her last minutes in that office. That I can do without, but I'd have much rather been there with her, letting the last faces she saw ones that truly cared for her. Each time frame of the day is difficult, when you have a daily routine with a member of your household that is no longer there for that routine. In the morning I was barely awake, and had her running in front of me towards the kitchen ( and cans of food in the pantry ) , miaowing , looking over her shoulder to make sure I was following her. When I come home after work is the hardest, I think, because she'll never greet me again.
In the evenings, especially as it's getting colder, I'd always make sure she was inside, calling to her. And she'd sit on the arm of my recliner, tucking her little paws under her . The other night Jay called out to me and said something about my purse. I knew what he was saying. My purse is really what I call my 'faux fur black sack', and twice since I'd been home I'd done a double take. I thought it was her sitting next to the recliner ! I told Jay to put it up somewhere so we wouldn't mistake it for her again. I actually miss her jumping on the bed and putting her ass in my face.
Morgan goes out earlier for the school bus in the mornings, he's told me, so he can visit her grave and talk to her. He was crying last night, but on the whole , he's handled it better than the adults have. His guilt stems from fearing her all his life. He'd wave a cushion at her while scooting along the hallway wall like Indiana Jones, all the while she'd look indifferent, probably wondering why the human-child is so strange.

This is just my way of letting you (or me ) know ( or remember ) that she went quickly and peacefully, and she will always be missed. It took me days to write this, not only because it's so long, but because some nights I just couldn't see the keyboard. Like I stated earlier, I'm going to write another page on Spazs' life, but I believe it will be easier than writing about her death. (But not by much.)

This archive...

CURRENT MOON

about the moon

Ms. Ann Thrope

Fodder of sisoflexx

Soft Scorn

Merry Xmas !!!

I'm Banned from:

Non-Blog Sites: