Ms. Ann Thrope

( 7:21 PM ) sisoflexx

Sorry for not being around. Again.
I'm busy de-bugging my computer. Again.

( 12:00 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

A mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Southwest Airlines
from Kansas City to Chicago.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
"If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"

The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and

cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"

The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

The little boy admitted that she did.

"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time.

Now, let your mother explain that to you."

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( 7:12 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

Children's Science Exam Answers.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity... The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,
A,E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Courtesy of Mabs

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( 4:59 PM ) sisoflexx

Bralen's bride created this great pic, which I shamelessly tried to " borrow ", but screwed up trying to save it. As usual.

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( 2:55 PM ) sisoflexx

Todays Funny

Hillbilly Vasectomy

After having their 11th child, a North Georgia Mountain couple decided 11 was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative, said the doctor, was to go home, get a cherry bomb, light it, put it in an empty beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The redneck said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
"Trust me, " said the doctor.

So the hillbilly went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer
can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1"
"2"
"3"
"4"
"5"
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Kentucky, West Virginia, Arkansas, Louisiana, and parts of Mississippi.
Courtesy of Ameena, whom I told I hope don't gain any enemies by posting this joke. Still friends ?

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( 3:01 PM ) sisoflexx

Hello, you two ! I'm back safe and sound and we all had a great time at ProgDay X .
I'm actually in the middle of trying to write about the weekend in a day-by-day process, so bear with me, I'll get it up sooner or later.
Jay told me last night he's read alot of reviews the past few days, and said my insight would be at a different angle, as I wasn't there for the music.
That's just it, though, if there's nothing about the music or the bands, I doubt he or anyone else would be interested. And all the things I found funny or exciting over the weekend probably would lose a few people. And you know how I lose people. I tend to give way too much information about mundane things. I could probably write a 200-word essay about a blue rubber ball. I think I'll try that one day.

Now that's out of the way, I'll try to spend time getting the E! True ProgDay X story together. I also put two rolls of film in for development today, so I should get them back by Monday. I dread to see what are on them, as I sent Morgan out a few times with my camera...

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( 2:55 PM ) sisoflexx

I didn't write this, it's one of those cute stories I get in the mail ( which most of them I delete ), but this one reminded me of the porta-potties at ProgDay, so I thought I'd post it:

My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes. That was a long time ago. Even now, in my more "mature years, "The Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full. When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women that makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume "The Stance." Ahhhh, relief. More relief. But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up quickly, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper, not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get." By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged off to China. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no longer able to smile politely. One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long as the Mississippi River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"
Courtesy of Mabs

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( 7:14 AM ) sisoflexx

Scratch that, this doesn't make any sense to me. I just went to Robs site and clicked on my link there, and immediately saw my last post.

I guess my computer doesn't want to deal with it.

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( 7:09 AM ) sisoflexx

This is actually starting to piss me off, and I also remember why I stopped posting so often:
Any post I publish shows up on my site a day later, at least.

Like this one. You'll see it, oh, maybe Sunday at the earliest !

Shite.

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( 7:01 PM ) sisoflexx

Flash has his own funny t-shirts up for view. Go check them out !

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( 6:50 PM ) sisoflexx