Soft Scorn

Definition :

Misanthropic / adj. A general hatred or contempt for fellow human beings,
of other people in general. Opposite of philanthropist.

example :
Jimmy Carter : philanthropist
Heather : misanthropist

Example of 'misanthrope' in conversation :
Heather : " This movie just shows how stupid people are. I hate people ."
Jay : " My, aren't we the misanthrope ?"
Heather : " What did you call me, you idiot !? Tell me you stupid son of a bitch !
What kind of stupid f**ked up word is that, dumbass? I hate you ! "

(An excerpt from The Werbinox Chronicles)

OR...

Are we ready? Oh,good! Welcome to the forum that lacks wit, mirth, intelligence and ingenuity Comments are welcome, as I cannot hope to hold attention spans on my own merit Blog away! Dear friends, read, learn, and re-affirm your soul and mind!


Oct 30, 2004
      ( 7:35 AM ) sisoflexx
Too funny ! I just snatched ( heh, she said 'snatch' )this article from
Enigmatic Musings.

I know just how he feels !

I got this email today:

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
your damn chain letters over the past two years. Thank you for making me
feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

Actually, I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get
sick from the rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could get
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer causing deodorants even though I smell like a
steak and cheese sandwich on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaida in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor.

If you DON'T send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 pm
tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened
to a friend of a friend of a friend.

Shamelessly stolen from Phill
This archive...



      ( 7:16 AM ) sisoflexx
Today Morg and I are off to visit with Judi, we're going to the cemetary to visit Charles' grave.
It seems very weird to say that, like I said before, it's all too surreal.
Jay said last night, " It's hard to believe he's gone." and started crying. He's taking this very hard.

At work we're doing a golfing tournament fund-raiser for a gal who's already gone through cancer once, and now it's back in her hip. She's been out of work for over a month, lives with her dad, who she's taking care of. Not even 6 months ago she lost her mom and brother within two weeks of each other. During the hurricanes, her bedroom ceiling came down on her, and I told her it should be called 'The Book of Christine', not the Book of Job.
Hopefully we'll raise enough money for her to pay off her living expenses for a few months, at least.
This archive...



      ( 7:14 AM ) sisoflexx
Todays Funny

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home"

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Courtesy of Ameena
This archive...




Oct 26, 2004
      ( 3:35 PM ) sisoflexx
Here's one of the pics Jennifer just sent of my niece Evelyn, who I got to see a week ago Sunday. Jen had flown in with her beau ( who by the way, bought my breakfast - that makes him too cool in my book ) for the weekend and we spent a few hours at Lenox Square.
Evelyn Jane, 6 months old
Isn't she adorable ?
This archive...



      ( 2:54 PM ) sisoflexx
Charles died on Monday, October 18. I was present by his side when it happened. The funeral was on Thursday. It is Sunday night and we are just getting home after the whirlwind that set in after his passing.

Three sections of this poem are supposed to be musical (rythmical) as in the opening section and its repetition with variations. Some of the imagery comes from my attempts to psychically 'heal' him, some of them are my impressions of his last moments, and the rest is some kind of vision of us as childhood chums who are entirely free to run with joy thru a supra-terrestrail world. I am explaining it only to help increase its impact, as some of it can be viewed as obscure. I want to share it with you.

JT


SONG FOR CHARLES



We can walk on the Sea
(breathe free)
Turn our Eye /
every terror we meet
Skip the trail /
every guidepost we leave

behind us - You and Me
Walk into the Sun

And You and I
on tall towers stood
arms waved to conjure the healing green
to the calling
shook my puny fist at the mighty universe

Under palms of fire malignancy departed
wove tapestries of restoration
where lake merged with sky
sent you all of my strength
together leaped into the maelstrom of Making

kick open doors
cast aside
thrown into
the kaleidoscope of Making

We can walk down the street
(feeling free)
Turn our Eye /
every beauty we meet
Skip the trail /
every signpost we see

before us - You and Me
Walk into the Sun

Branching out for more
You were
blooming towards the source
sacred song
song of risk
new adventure road calling

One armed bandit / cast the dice
occasional victory will suffice
You know that You Are what You Are!

cell phone, cap, and smiling face
judgment of others - there was no trace
catch the mischievous twinkle in your eye


In your glare
I saw the struggle
solitary arena
hand held
bedside gasping
battle joined
I could not defend You

On a pinnacle / in the abyss
You looked through me
and fled
- I clamped myself in irons
so I could not call You back

Haunted by Your stare
end without end
eons of stone scorched
wasteland frozen bare
I could not endure beside You

Dangled over cliff
down which you must fall
"Let Go!" we said, crying
and could not run to catch You

Four signs you gave
impressed upon us
mysteries of the passing

Your Mother You saw

Your smile You gave

one ring of a phone

a shadow it passed

and like a cloud before the sun
you departed, and were gone

Now up the smooth stones racing
trees receding vistas opening
make way for future playgrounds pointing
to a line of bare breasted dancers

Join together, now we may
kick open doors
through casinos run laughing
let our chips fall where they may

On gaming tables springboard jumping
thighs and buttocks heart beat thumping
run riot in the kaleidoscope of Making



On towers tall
stand side by side
we shake our mighty fists at the puny universe

and aint it grand (mighty grand)
to set ourselves forward to the calling

-October roads winter canyons
wind springtime harbors
distant shores, distant lands

* * * *
We will walk on the Sea
(we are free)
Turn our Eyes /
every terror and beauty we be
Skip the guideposts /
every boundary we flee

with us - You and Me
Walk into the Sun







Hail October
with trombone lips I proclaim -

Your deathbed eyes
thru the branches of trees
in the patchwork melancholy sky


Welcome October
with tearful eyes I proclaim -

Locomotive on the dark horizon
breath of steam
jagged ice
detours into Vampire country


Praise October
with bruised limbs I proclaim -

Call off your dogs
give me some rest
before the frantic surge
sure to follow

Like a drowned man
I crawl from the waters
to hack lung water
in trails of spittle
upon the sand

Like a climber
in the Himalaya
I return to camp
with a thousand yard stare
reflect summit winds blowing

Upwards I saw
in the deep of the bowl
sheer vertigo

spread arms
open fingers
taut
for
reaching
towards
encircling
valley of ridges

Your leaves fall to my feet
without subtlety
mal embedded shattered wood

Your players dropped from the bill
scripts rewritten
managers fired
gunbarrells on temples
and masked men hired

I cringe at your lashes
and tremble
before your gloved steel grip

Freeze my blood
stretch my face
make me cry "uncle"

Hail October -

wilt of the flower
ever it be
an opening door
to advance once again
in Depth and Power

Courtesy of Werbinox
Knight in shining armour
This archive...




Oct 24, 2004
      ( 8:02 PM ) sisoflexx

Charles P. Hearn


May 3, 1947 - October 18, 2004

I got the call from Jay Monday the 18th after I got home from work that Charles passed away.
Jay, his mom Judi and Charles' sister Joan were with him as he struggled for his last breaths. For them it's been extremely hard because they witnessed it. And from how Jay described it, even though it sounded a hard thing to witness, it was fairly quick. He died at home surrounded by his closest loved ones, and you really can't ask for much more than that. Morgan was there at the house, but he got a stomach ache and laid down and fell asleep.
At one point, Charles looked at Judi and tried to smile for her, as if to say, " I'm doing it, it's okay, love."
Joan asked Charles to tell their mother hello for them, and Charles replied that she was already there.
Jay was on his way to get eyedrops because Charles' eyes were open and they were tearing up, and when he ( Charles ) exhaled, Jay stopped in the doorway and Jay turned and looked at him, and Charles looked strongly at him, like he was looking through him, than laid his head back, and didn't take another breath. Basha, their Doberman, laid on the big bed and held her paws over her snout the whole time, either trying to ignore Charles' struggle, or pretending to try to sleep. They said as soon as he stopped breathing, she sat up and started waggling her tail happily. Whether it was because she sensed something supernatural or was relieved she couldn't hear him suffering anymore, we'll never know. Jay told me Judi said, " I've just lost my best friend. "

I got there as soon as I could, and even then I was the last one there. I had to park at the end of the street, so many loved ones showed up. He was still laying in his hospital bed in the master bedroom, looking like he was still sleeping. I was fine until I returned later before the funeral home folks came to get him and I went back in to say a final goodbye.
I turned as I was leaving the bedroom and said to myself, " Oh, Charles ." I wish I had stock in Kleenex, that's for sure.
I stood out in the back garden with Judi and Morgan as they took him out of the house, because Judi couldn't bear to see him leaving. Morgan was crying he wanted his grandpa back. After he was gone, Judi started crying . As I hugged her, she told me it was because he had left the house for ever.

We had all talked about the things that needed to go to the funeral home - his glasses , ring, and some of us joked that his cell phone , because he always had it to his ear. When we went to the viewing Wednesday, they opened up his casket, and there he was, with his hands folded across his chest , cell phone enfolded
in his hands. A lot of people who approached the casket alternately wept and laughed because of that special touch. We actually had two rooms for the viewing, and there were so many flowers they filled the room. And the people ! The room got so warm and the air was getting sucked out of it. Judi actually got faint at one point and had to be searched for, as she went off to the ladies room without telling anyone.

After the viewing, we drove to the airport to pick up their niece Stephanie, who flew in from Michigan. We got to extend her stay until Sunday, as she wanted to be with her Aunt Judi, so that was a relief. We had a great time with her, I really hope it helped poor Judi having all of us around to bug her. I told Jay that having so many people around for days on end would bug the hell out of anyone, so instead of grieving profusely, you'd be so relieved everyone was out of your hair you'd just want to relax.

As long as the day was of the funeral ( Thursday ), it went so wonderfully. The ceremony was great. One of Charles' best friends Bobby Marino got up and gave a great speech and read out a poem that one of Charles' sons wrote. Bobby's wife's brother Bill is a retired minister, and he led the group in prayer. Even though I'm not religious, it was sweet, he did a great job. Jay got up there and gave an astounding speech, the whole time Joan and I were squeezing each others hand. At one point, Jay spoke out of " What would Charles do ?" Because Charles didn't live life like most. He did it. He was a great guy. A wonderful friend, father, etc...
Truth is, he's the sweetest guy I've ever known, and the amount of people who felt the same way is a testimony to that fact. ( In fact, the day after the funeral, Jay kicked around the idea, which many agreed to, was running up some bumper stickers reading, " What Would Charles Do ?" Because we didn't know Jesus personally, we don't know what he would do, but Charles, we know his ethics, his thoughts, and we can actually ask ourselves that and know the answer.)

As the funeral procession was on it's way to the cemetery, I turned and looked out of the back window when we were on I-285, the beltway. There were so many cars you couldn't even see the end of it as we went around bends. It looked almost like rush hour, except that we were moving. Again, Morgan couldn't quit bawling at the gravesite. Poor kid. It's so hard to lose a grandparent, and all you can do is tell him to keep his chin up and do Charles proud.
And of course, the house was overcrowded with loved ones after the funeral, and Judi told me she stood at the bedroom window and cried because Charles would have loved to see everyone there together.

We stayed until tonight, Sunday, and Steph is on her way back home. Now it's time for Judi to be alone. We're not worried about her, it's just something she has to go through. She's actually had a few months to deal with this and start the grieving process. It won't be easy for any of us, but we didn't see him every day, either.

Missing him, and trying to cope with out him is so weird, It's so unreal , it seems surreal. Nothing seems right, and tomorrow I've got to get back to the real world and deal with that. Everything's different now.

On a footnote, I got a phone message from that gal who is keeping Charles in her 'prayers' today: She said her ex-husbands sisters son just died from cancer, anyway, have a great day and she is thinking about my father in law, hope is doing okay and she's keeping him in prayers.
This archive...




Oct 5, 2004
      ( 6:19 PM ) sisoflexx
So much to do, so little time...

Charles has been doing chemo for 6 weeks, he's constantly throwing up, he can't eat, so I don't know what he's got in his stomach to throw up.
At the end of September Charles had another CAT scan to see if his tumors were shrinking. Instead, we've been informed that it's spread to his colon. He asked to speak with his 2 sons and Jay to find out how they felt about it. ( About continuing the treatment or ending it. ) Jay told him he wanted whatever Charles wanted, and Charles told him Judi and he discussed it and decided there was no point in continuing the treatment. Judi and Charles have had the awful task of planning funeral arrangements and choosing a headstone. When I had told a co-worker that Hospice was coming in some days, she replied that Hospice only does that for the dying. When I told Judi this , she said, " Well, think about it. "
The 'pros' to this slow death is the fact he can get his affairs in order and everyone can come and visit him . The bereaved can prepare for the eventuality of being truly bereaved.
Just about every time we call or go over to their house it's crowded with friends and family. It's all so much for him, as he steadily gets weaker and thinner. But it's a testament to Charles, who is well loved by many.
My Mum flew in from England for a few weeks. I don't know if she meant to put off her vacation time until xmas or what, but I did tell her she should try and visit with Charles soon, and she did. One of the main reasons my Mum felt comfortable leaving her kids in the States knowing that they were okay on their feet, and in my case, she said I have Judi and Charles here with me, so she needn't worry. She really is sweet on the guy. A true southern gentleman, she calls him. And he is.
Judis' brother and his family came to visit this past weekend, and his wife started crying as soon as she hugged him hello. Judi had told them she'd rather they visit while he's still here instead of coming to his funeral.
This whole thing pissed me off. They are two of the greatest people I know. I would never wish this on anyone, but they are the last ones I'd ever guess having this shit happen to them. I had a gal tell me ( again ) " I'm keeping him in my prayers". Uh -huh. I felt like asking if she's been praying for his death, because that's pretty much fucking imminent. I'd have as much luck performing a naked voodoo dance around his bed, splashing him with chicken blood and ashes. Fuck.
This archive...




CURRENT MOON